Need info. Mom has stage IV lung cancer. (treat, feeling, cause)

[Cecilia_Rose]

Originally Posted by Roselvr

Cecilia Rose, I'm sorry. I know how it is when the news hits you. For us, my dad did the same thing, one day he was fine, next he just kept sliding down hill, then hospice for 2 days, then he was gone. This happened in one week for us.

Please get prepared. You said you were going to get her affairs in order, did you do that?

Keep us posted. She may not come back to you but can continue to slide away. Hopefully she'll be like my dad and not have pain.

btw, I used to clean houses. I love digging into heavy jobs at a time like this. It's either cleaning or digging in the dirt

Sorry I havent been posting much. Things are not much better than they were. Except shes quieter now. I think thats because of the Morphine. Hospice says time is short now. I think Im prepared but when the time comes Im sure I wont be.

Her affairs are in order. All her famuily is gone but me and some distant cousins She had to spend down to qualiy for Medicaid home heath care. So we prepaid all her funeral expenses. She picked out everything herself.

Keeping busy helps me too. I havent said much to my clients cause for one thing I need the money and two I need to work to take my mind off stuff. I am glad most of them arent home right now tho. I prefer to have my weepy fits in private.

[SandyCo]

Cecilia, I'm sorry this has been so difficult for you. I just read this entire thread this morning for the first time. You've been incredibly brave and strong, and please remember that God doesn't give us more than we can handle. I'm especially impressed that you've kept your sense of humor, as your mother sounds like a tough person to deal with. I'm glad that everything is taken care of in advance.

My mom died very suddenly when I was 24, and it was incredibly difficult to try to make decisions for her. Burial or cremation, etc. etc. Nothing like having to make important decisions when you're in shock; yeah, that was fun... Also, my brother and I were estranged at the time, which made it even worse. I was so grateful to go back to work, and "normality" after a few days.

You'll get through this, and like everyone else has said, make sure you take care of yourself!

[Roselvr]

Originally Posted by Cecilia_Rose

Sorry I havent been posting much. Things are not much better than they were. Except shes quieter now. I think thats because of the Morphine.

Sending you a cyber hug. I'm sure you could use it!

Originally Posted by Cecilia_Rose

Hospice says time is short now. I think Im prepared but when the time comes Im sure I wont be.

Ask specific questions. Are her organs shutting down? Do they have her on a cath? Does the color of her urine look regular or is it dark & bloody looking?
With my dad, he had an odor from his organs shutting down. It was like a sweet ammonia scent. Very hard to describe. Have you noticed a different scent coming from your mom?

Please ask hospice for some counseling. I can imagine things going through your head, you need to get them out & talk to someone. From what I've read in this post, you've been a good daughter and have taken a lot of crap but still kept doing what you had to for your mom. You can not change her, she is who she is.. I don't know why some people can't say I love you or thank you, I guess it's just the way they are.

Is she able to talk at all? Even if she isn't, you might take this time to say what you need to say to her. Even though my dad & I talked pretty heavily, there were a few things I did not say and wish I had. My hubby also did the same thing with his dad a few weeks after my dad died as his dad passed 6 weeks later. I think he was glad he went and talked to him. You need to get that closure and if she can not speak you might think to have her blink her eyes.

Originally Posted by Cecilia_Rose

Her affairs are in order. All her famuily is gone but me and some distant cousins She had to spend down to qualiy for Medicaid home heath care. So we prepaid all her funeral expenses. She picked out everything herself.

Thankfully it is one less thing you have to worry about. You might want to call the funeral place to let them know it might be soon. My dad did not have any of this done and did not even want a viewing but said ok. It was very hard to drive over an hour less then 10 hours after he died to deal with this.

Originally Posted by Cecilia_Rose

Keeping busy helps me too. I havent said much to my clients cause for one thing I need the money and two I need to work to take my mind off stuff. I am glad most of them arent home right now tho. I prefer to have my weepy fits in private.

I know where you are coming from.

[katzenfreund]

I just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you...hoping for a painless and quick end for your Mom, no long suffering and no more pain. Sending you a great big hug and all the best wishes. You are a great daughter!

[southernnaturelover]

Originally Posted by southernnaturelover

My grandmother is going through a similar situation with her husband right now. He's 82 and about two years ago he was diagnosed with esophageal cancer and went through chemo. The chemo was tough for him to go through, but it seemed to get rid of the cancer in his esophagus, although it damaged his thyroid. Well, about six weeks ago my grandmother took him to the ER because he had severe jaundice and was having trouble using the bathroom. It turns out now he has a mass in his liver which is constricting his bowel ducts. He's already very tired physically and mentally from the first round of chemo and we just don't think he can handle it again. The doctors have not explained to him yet how serious it is, and my grandmother will have to very soon. I'm pretty sure he will choose to not go through with the chemo again. I know what the OP is dealing with, it's very hard to watch a loved one go through this.

I just wanted to step in and give an update on my last post. My stepgrandfather passed away yesterday morning. We were really worried that he would be in pain because the hospice nurse told us his lungs would fill with fluid, but he didn't seem to be in pain at all. I think the morphine really helped him in his last few days. Hopefully someday there will be a better treatment than chemotherapy.

[katzenfreund]

Originally Posted by southernnaturelover

I just wanted to step in and give an update on my last post. My stepgrandfather passed away yesterday morning. We were really worried that he would be in pain because the hospice nurse told us his lungs would fill with fluid, but he didn't seem to be in pain at all. I think the morphine really helped him in his last few days. Hopefully someday there will be a better treatment than chemotherapy.

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I know how hard it is to lose someone you love. But I was very glad to hear that he was not in pain during his last days.
Take care and big hugs to you!

[southernnaturelover]

Originally Posted by katzenfreund

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I know how hard it is to lose someone you love. But I was very glad to hear that he was not in pain during his last days.
Take care and big hugs to you!

Thank you for your kindness. His funeral will be tommorow. My grandmother told us yesterday that she would be okay staying by herself last night, but today she said the only way she slept was to leave the lights on all night. I think she is going to have a hard time adjusting to living alone now, they were married for 27 years and he always made her feel very safe.

[nay624]

I am sorry for your loss.........:-(

[Suzet2262]

southernnaturelover, I am very sorry for your loss. I will say a prayer for your stepgrandfather..

[autimom4ever]

Southern.. I'm so sorry for your loss... ((HUGS))

Cecelia.. I agree with everyone on this thread.. You are a wonderful daughter and you and your mother are in my prayers..