Need info. Mom has stage IV lung cancer. (bladder, pain, hair)

[Cecilia_Rose]

After many tests and Dr trips its official. My Mom age 79 has stage IV lung cancer that has spread to her liver. Surgery is not an option. She has emphasema and diabetis. Dr suggests chemo start next week. Without treatment she has 6mo to a year. He wouldnt say with chemo.

What I need for you guys is lots of info. What experiences have you had. What treatments. What happens after/during chemo. Does anything REALLY help. And for how long.

Im heading out to the nursing home now. Ill check in later. Checked her in temporary for rehab exercises to build up her strength. At home all she was doing was laying in bed watching tv. She was falling a lot. The exercises seem to be helping. She really wants to go back to her house. Im wondering if this is going to be an option once chemo starts.

[bigbyrd]

I have had experience with bladder cancer and would suggest liquid Zeolite as an addition to traditional treatment. I have been cancer free for 6 years

[elston]

Is your mother able to participate in the decision making regarding her health care? If so, I would suggest you ask the doctor to meet with you and her to review prognosis and her options and quality of life expectations. With her other conditions and the stage IV cancer, there is a great deal to consider.

If I were her, I would want to consider, directives that specifically addressed the type of treatment I did and did not want; when appropriate I would also want to discuss hospice care with my physcian. I would rather spend a few months at home dying with dignity than several years in facilities, dying but surronded by strangers and equipment and pain and extended discomfort.

I know this may sound insensitive, but if it were me........

My prayers are with your mother and your family. I would reassure that "we are held in a love greater than we can ever know"; I so believe that to be true, even in these circumstances.

[karen_s]

I agree with Elston's excellent post. It's time to weigh the options and see what your mom wants to do. I know of two dear friends who had stage IV lung cancer. My friend Ruth chose to forgo the chemo, to live at home with hospice and family support, and she passed away in about five months peacefully. Another woman at my church passed away in about seven months after enduring the chemo. The chemo had some nasty side effects and she also had wonderful hospice care, albeit in a nursing home. If it were me, I'd probably forgo the treatment, but only you and your mom can decide what is best for this situation.

I know you meant well in getting her the rehab for strengthening, but if she wants to go home and that is possible and a medically sound decision, I believe you should make that happen for her ASAP. Another thing that helped my friend Ruth was attending a local cancer patient support group when she felt able. She got much valuable information from the other patients as to what they would do if they had to go through treatments again, and many of them told her they'd rather do nothing and live out their lives as best as they could.

[CosmicWizard]

Based on my mothers experience with Cancer, I strongly advise against chemo. Her condition rapidly deteriorated immediately following chemo. It greatly lessened her quality of life, & greatly increased her pain. Though she never stated it outright, I think she tremendously regretted taking the chemo treatments. From Karens post above, I can easily understand why many patients would say they'd rather do nothing and live out their lives as best as they could. As stated wisely by other posters, it is ultimately your mothers decision to make.

[jhlcomp]

elston gave you the best answer. My late husband received chemo in the hospital and died the second day of it. My mother received chemo and died 2 months later after the most painful suffering imaginable. I would do anything to call back that time.

This is very hard I know and my heart goes out to you. Hope that your mother's final days are as painfree as possible.

[Mom2Feebs]

Originally Posted by Cecilia_Rose

After many tests and Dr trips its official. My Mom age 79 has stage IV lung cancer that has spread to her liver. Surgery is not an option. She has emphasema and diabetis. Dr suggests chemo start next week. Without treatment she has 6mo to a year. He wouldnt say with chemo.

What I need for you guys is lots of info. What experiences have you had. What treatments. What happens after/during chemo. Does anything REALLY help. And for how long.

Im heading out to the nursing home now. Ill check in later. Checked her in temporary for rehab exercises to build up her strength. At home all she was doing was laying in bed watching tv. She was falling a lot. The exercises seem to be helping. She really wants to go back to her house. Im wondering if this is going to be an option once chemo starts.

I'm just going to be very honest with you, and I think it is very important that you and everyone who is part of her care be honest with your mom. My husband is in cancer research--specifically lung and brain cancers--with MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston. His personal feelings are that he would not go with chemotherapy at this point. At 79, she is not a candidate for clinical trials. Stage IV lung cancer is terminal. Chemo will only prolong her life, if she chooses that. It will not cure her, and it can actually make her worse, because of her age. Lung cancer is a metastatic disease, which is why it has spread to her liver. It can (and often does), also spread to her brain, bone, and lymphatic system.

If it were me, I would ask her where she would like to be when she passes (hospice or home), and what she would like to keep her as comfortable as possible. She has options for pain management. I would ask the nurses at the hospital for a recommendation, off the record (some nurses are not allowed to do so "officially"), for a great home health care nurse and get in touch ASAP to find someone round the clock (which is why some folks consider hospice). Know that most hospice facilities are wonderful, and the people are terrific. She will have lots of love and friendly faces around her.

I am so very sorry. I lost my mom at 67 to stage IV-B lymphoma in 2001. If I knew then what I know now, we would have been at home and not in a hospital. She died alone at 6AM, not even 30 seconds before I showed up with breakfast for my sister and myself. I would never want anyone else to go through that. Know what you are facing and be ready. My heart goes out to you, to your mom, and to your whole family. God bless.

[AliceT]

Listen to elston. It's all about your mom and what your mom wants to do, if she is able.

As for chemo treatments, I cannot answer as I have not experienced it myself. I was, however, the driver for a neighbor who had to have chemo treatments for 6 months. She was tired most of the time, nauseated for several days following the treatments and weaker that usual during the 6-month process.

It went like this: She started the chemo therapy on Monday, went to the hospital and sat in a comfortable recliner-type chair for 4-6 hours while getting the IV drip. There was a television in the room, other patients getting the IV drip and She could drink coffee or a soda curing the process. She could nap if she wanted to, or talk on the phone. The IV was on a wheeled base so she could go to the bathroom or help herself to more coffee. She was served a meal while there.

After the in-hospital treatment, she went home with a portable pump that continued to drip medications into her through the night in her home.

Tuesday was a short day. Same thing at the hospital, in the same room, in the recliner chair for a couple hours. She would go home again with the portable pump and continue to get another medication during the night. Wednesday, she returned to the hospital to have the pump removed, then could go home again. That would be the end of it for the next 11 days. It was every two weeks. Same thing.

Her hair started thinning after the first treatment. It was gone in three months.

She was obese to start with and lost 82 pounds during that 6 months. She had trouble keeping food down and often had no appetite. I understand that this is common with chemo therapy.

Hospice is a wonderful system to keep your loved one at home to the very end, surrounded by the people that love them. My husband died at home. It wasn't cancer, but he wanted to be at home and hospice made it happen.

[Miss Blue]

Cecilia..I have no better advice than what Elston has given..Just know that we will be here for you any time..I have learned to feel the warmth of a hug or someone just holding my hand from my friends here and I offer the same to you..Love is powerful enough to be felt no matter where we are..Right now, I am sending hugs and prayers to you..

[Sampaguita]

Cecilia - I am so sorry to read about your mother. Mine called me yesterday with news of my uncle who was also just diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer. He has chosen to forego treatment and instead remain at home with the best possible care to make whatever time he has left dignified and as comfortable as possible. My mother & her brothers are making the financial arrangements to make this happen and to also take care of his wife (they have not had an easy life).

I truly believe that Elston gave you the most excellent advice - even if it's hard to take. I wish you peace in your heart as you and your mother & family face this very difficult time.