Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
A friend of the family was diagnosed with cancer. He doesn't want to go through chemotherapy. He said that he would rather "go" than subject his body to chemo. (He is physically handicapped and cannot walk without the aid of crutches... I don't know if this is what contributes to this perspective?)
How do we deal with this?
My MIL refused treatment. She lived 12 years past her diagnosis.
Everyone has the right to make their own decisions.
My heart goes out to all of you who have been touched by cancer whether yourselves or people close to you. It is incredibly hard on those around the cancer patient.
I went through BC last year with chemo and surgeries and am today one year cancer free. I am 54yr old now and had a very healthy diet and exercised regularly and continued all through chemo as much as possible. Chemo was very hard but I felt badly about my family that had to watch me go through treatment....heart breaking to watch their fears. I had complete response from the chemo and no sign at the time of surgery of the cancer. I completely understand the decision to not go through chemo or treatment...it is a very personal decision.
It is weird to say but I feel grateful for this past year because it has taught me so much. To live each day to the fullest and appreciate each moment joyfully, don't sweat the small stuff after all, it doesn't really matter that much in the long run.
Lots of ((HUGS)) to you all as this is a very difficult thing!
I would never agree to chemo for any malignancy unless the odds for remission were very high. I have very little tolerance for illness and invasive medical procedures so when the time comes to make that decision I will be in for palliative care, nothing more.
In April, 2016, my 85-year old mother found that her BC that she'd had treated 7 years ago had recurred. In July, my 78-year old husband learned that his polycythemia (bone marrow making too many red blood cells) had morphed into acute myeloid leukemia after 10 years. We were told that chemo had a 3% chance of success for DH.
Both of them chose palliative care and died peacefully at home with support from hospice and I'm so glad they chose that route. Everyone has different circumstances- age, likelihood of success, likely effects of treatment, etc. but I was on the FaceBook page for people with Acute Myeloid Leukemia and their caregivers and saw the roller coaster people went through to fight it. It made no sense for DH- his body was already weakened from 10 years of polycythemia and the meds to manage it. I have a cousin in her late 40s who's getting pretty aggressive treatment for breast cancer but she's a completely different case- younger, with children, good chance of success.
I highly recommend the book "Being Mortal" by Athul Gawande; the first half of the book deals with changes in nursing home/long-term care, but the second half is an eloquent discussion of end-of-life decisions.
I am 49
married with young kids
no real serious disability or limitations
I wont do chemo...refuse
ill do radiation and surgery to a point, but NO chemo
its my life, my body, my suffering...no one can tell me different
I watched my dads last year of life spent sick due to chemp and other treatment...he died cancer free...chemo and stem cell transplant side effects killed him...I wont do that
I've had chemo 3 times now and have had no serious side effects. They have meds to prevent the side-effects common in our parent's day.
Ditto for me, except I've only had it twice. It baffles me when young people who have never had cancer say they would refuse chemo under any circumstances, as though all chemo is the same and all cancers are incurable anyway.
Ditto for me, except I've only had it twice. It baffles me when young people who have never had cancer say they would refuse chemo under any circumstances, as though all chemo is the same and all cancers are incurable anyway.
Well, it is up to the individual to agree to one treatment over another. I just hate to see people react out of misplaced fear or ignorance. Much of their worry is due to watching melodramatic movies or TV, or watching an unfortunate relative/friend go through some sort of regimen that was specifically intended for their unique situation, no one else's. I find it odd that some people would be OK with radiation but not chemotherapy. Radiation involves bombarding tissues with emissions from a radioactive material which is actually a fairly spooky idea. When you think it through, "chemotherapy" (introducing some chemical to the body that it doesn't produce on it's own) could include anything from a vitamin or herb to snake venom. It just acts systemically instead of locally. Either way, it's up to the patient. I would just hope they do their research before agreeing or rejecting an entire class of treatment out of hand that could be very beneficial.
Having gone through a lot of both myself (and having lived to tell about it without much of any lingering trouble) I found that educating myself about the various things prescribed helped a great deal. You have to decide for yourself what risks you are willing to accept in life. Everything from leaving your house, driving your car, ingesting a drug, getting an x-ray, doing nothing about the cancer you find out you have, all of it. Nothing is right for everyone across the board.
Last edited by Parnassia; 10-12-2018 at 12:24 PM..
I totally respect anyone's preference for any kind of treatment, including "no treatment", including someone whose condition "requires" chemotherapy and/or radiation. IMO, this is the way it needs to be. Personal choice. Neither of those two treatments "cures" anything. They actually destroy the healthy tissue in the body. Chemo chemicals are highly toxic. Some of them are made from the same chemicals as mustard gas, which killed many of our soldiers during World War 1.
Yes, initially, chemo does kill off the cancer cells, and while it's doing that, it's also killing off the healthy cells. Chemo does not get to the source of the cancer in our immune system. It only goes to the active tumors, etc, but it does not heal our immune system. Meanwhile, from my studies, I found that the cancer is often still in our bodies, even after chemo, and it stays there until it becomes active once again, showing up as another tumor, etc So, in my opinion, it makes a lot of sense to decide whether you want chemo, or you don't want it.
Be prepared to be stonewalled by doctors, who will put intense pressure - my friends have told me this - on any patient who decides not to go the chemo route. I have had friends who have gone through this scenario. Many people are not prepared to thank the doctors and walk out. It puts us at a disadvantage when seeking the right treatment, for us. Which might be 'no treatment' for some.
No one is prepared for making an instant decision on a treatment of this magnitude, especially with the intense fear that the word "cancer" has in our society. Unfortunately, the healthcare field is prepared to offer only one treatment: toxic chemicals. And they don't like it when we want to think about it. They will put intense pressure on cancer patients and their families. They will be inappropriately manipulative, and sometimes cruel and heartless.
Think about this: many chemo treatments cost $20,000 - $40,000 - and more - PER TREATMENT. The entire time of chemo treatment may require not just one treatment, but many. This puts the cost of the chemo for some into the hundreds of thousands of dollars. And there is no money-back guarantee for chemo. Oncologist's share in the profit off of chemo - I've been told they make 50% from any chemo chemicals used for treatment. When we buy a car or a house, which require a large financial investment, we often take a month or two to think about, and research, our choices. We need to be allowed to have some down time to think about chemo - do I want chemo, or do I choose another form of treatment? I don't want an oncologist pressuring me to close the sale before I've had a chance to explore options. And, the medical profession does not want you to think you have any option other than chemotherapy. So be prepared for a pressure cooker session with the oncologist, should you decide to postpone your decision to undergo chemotherapy in order to explore all the options.
REMEMBER THIS: IT IS OKAY TO WALK OUT OF ANY SESSION WITH AN ONCOLOGIST. YOU DON'T NEED TO BE POLITE AND LISTEN TO EVERYTHING HE/SHE SAYS. THE BEST THING TO DO MIGHT BE FOR YOU TO WALK TO THE NEAREST DOOR AND WALK OUT. ESPECIALLY IF THEY BECOME RUDE OR CONDESCENDING TOWARD YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. THIS ISN'T HEALTH 'CARE' .... IT IS ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR. MANY ONCOLOGISTS BELITTLE PEOPLE IN ORDER TO CLOSE THE SALE.
Personally? I'm wondering whether it's in our best interest to allow fear to overtake us when given a cancer diagnosis. Is cancer really as bad as we are told? Suspect none of us know the answer to that. I'm suspecting that we need to have a different conversation around cancer, chemo, and radiation. There are people who have had chemo, and they say they probably wouldn't have chosen chemo if they had known how they would be affected.
There is a website about cancer: Chrisbeatcancer.com ..... this is about a very young man who was diagnosed with stage IIIc colon cancer in 2003. After surgery he opted-out of chemo and used nutrition and natural therapies to heal. Today he says he's healthy, strong, and cancer-free. I don't know Chris, I don't have cancer. I don't personally know anyone who has followed Chris's advice. I did have a friend who asked me to help her when she was being forced to decide - and also to continue ongoing chemo treatment - to have chemo for her lung cancer. At that time, I didn't know what I know now. I didn't have a clue about how to help her and didn't know how the medical profession works to lasso cancer patients into chemo, without being given a chance to do more research. My friend is long gone. And I research cancer because of her. But if I did have a cancer diagnosis, I would at least be open-minded enough to check out what he has to say. I'm also not suggesting that anyone follow Chris's advice. But I do suggest to anyone, to check out all the alternatives, for anything, not just for cancer. After all, Chris did have cancer, he had surgery, without any chemo. He is still alive 15 years later, and is healthy. That's enough to grab my interest.
My friend who had tons of chemo is no longer with us. She also had what she called "chemo brain", which is very debilitating. It took less than 6 months with the chemo. I can't help but wonder how different things might have been if she had known to look for alternatives, and to not feel such intense pressure to start the chemo treatments. I think she had 4 or 5 x $40,000 treatments.
I do know that chemo would not be for me. Don't know if I would follow Chris's advice, or not. What I do know for sure is that I would never agree to go to a meeting with an oncologist. They offer only chemicals that I choose not to have in my body. By the way, I am 71 years young.
Last edited by 'M'; 11-05-2018 at 07:53 AM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
