Grandma was supposely abused in new group home.... (adult, parent, money)

[the city]

My grandma told me and my mom that the caregiver came in and slapped her 3 times after she was noisey and waking everyone up at 5 am in the morning. At some point my grandma scratched him down the neck. And he said he would slap her again if she was not quiet. Also, he may have tried to put his on her mouth and make her quiet. She does not have dimentia, but she two days ago she had a urinary infection. And she sounded like she was in a sound state when she said this. She never has complained about some one before. And the guy did not confess to this. I called Adult Protective Services and my parents thought I should not. We can't afford to put her in a nursing home and we hope she does not end up with a worse group home.

Thanks for any advice.

[sskkc]

I hope she's okay. If she is being abused by a staff member, then being moved to a new group home may be the best thing for her.

Many older people are abused by poorly trained staff in group homes. Keep in mind that the 'schooling' for the certificate to work in one of these places takes less than 3 months to complete.

The best way to help ensure she is not one of the abused is to visit - often. If you or another family member (or even a church member) is not visiting her daily, the chances of her being hurt go up. Those who do not have family members/friends who care are "easier" victims to bullies. Befriend those who are taking direct care of your grandmother - show an interest in them, and they will be kinder to your relatives - or at the very least, they will choose a different victim.

Urinary tract infections (as well as other infections) occur more frequently as we age, especially if we're not being visited by family members on a daily basis. Personal hygiene goes by the wayside as showering/bathing becomes more difficult and uncomfortable as our bodies age.

Hugs to your grandmother. I'm sorry she's going through this.

[lauramc27]

I'm sorry your Grandmother is going through this. With that said, I would move her immediatly. I don't understand the mind set of don't make waves because we may have to move her and not calling it to the attention of the administrator of the facility. What has Adult Protection said? This person is an abuser and lord knows what they may do next time. She does not deserve to be treated like this, no matter what she was doing.

[DewDropInn]

Is this group home in CA? If so I'd move her. And I'd investigate the new home thoroughly. State supervision and regulation of group homes in CA is notoriously lax. To put it mildly.

[the city]

Originally Posted by sskkc

I hope she's okay. If she is being abused by a staff member, then being moved to a new group home may be the best thing for her.

Many older people are abused by poorly trained staff in group homes. Keep in mind that the 'schooling' for the certificate to work in one of these places takes less than 3 months to complete.

The best way to help ensure she is not one of the abused is to visit - often. If you or another family member (or even a church member) is not visiting her daily, the chances of her being hurt go up. Those who do not have family members/friends who care are "easier" victims to bullies. Befriend those who are taking direct care of your grandmother - show an interest in them, and they will be kinder to your relatives - or at the very least, they will choose a different victim.

Urinary tract infections (as well as other infections) occur more frequently as we age, especially if we're not being visited by family members on a daily basis. Personal hygiene goes by the wayside as showering/bathing becomes more difficult and uncomfortable as our bodies age.

Hugs to your grandmother. I'm sorry she's going through this.

Thank you. Unfortunately, I live in a low population county (270,000 population) with some parts with alot of retirees so we can not find any other group homes for her. My mom and I both feel my grandma is safe for now. She is sleeping in the living room fine with the female care giver watching her.

I will try to visit her as much possible to make not easy for abuse to pop up.

I think the caregiver didn't mean to rage out and I hope he learned his lesson. If anything, I hope he's scared to not pick on her again. I am glad my grandma scratched him if he started to attack first.

If I have any other concerns for her I will post here.

[Marlow]

Originally Posted by the city

My grandma told me and my mom that the caregiver came in and slapped her 3 times after she was noisey and waking everyone up at 5 am in the morning. At some point my grandma scratched him down the neck. And he said he would slap her again if she was not quiet. Also, he may have tried to put his on her mouth and make her quiet. She does not have dimentia, but she two days ago she had a urinary infection. And she sounded like she was in a sound state when she said this. She never has complained about some one before. And the guy did not confess to this. I called Adult Protective Services and my parents thought I should not. We can't afford to put her in a nursing home and we hope she does not end up with a worse group home. Thanks for any advice.

Is the home licensed by the state? How many people live there? If it's licensed, you should report it immediately. You should also report it to the supervisor and the owner of the place. You could also file a police report because the slap was an assault.

Have you looked into Medicaid paying for your grandmother to be in a nursing home? Most people in nursing homes cannot afford to pay for it and Medicaid makes up the difference.

[the city]

Originally Posted by Marlow

Is the home licensed by the state? How many people live there? If it's licensed, you should report it immediately. You should also report it to the supervisor and the owner of the place. You could also file a police report because the slap was an assault.

Have you looked into Medicaid paying for your grandmother to be in a nursing home? Most people in nursing homes cannot afford to pay for it and Medicaid makes up the difference.

We reported it to the owner. About six people live there. And yes licensed by the state of CA.

And yeah I am hoping my parents get Medicaid to pay for her in a nursing home.

The latest news is that the same caregiver is "accusing me of giving him dirty looks" and if I do it again they will throw out my grandma. And my mother blames this **** on me and said some hurtful things and thinks its all my fault.

Sounds fishy at my grandma's place. I'm thinking if my mom wants to raise hell, then maybe I should raise hell back? Meaning if they are going to throw accusations on me I will call them up and look into this.

What say you fellow posters?

[Marlow]

Originally Posted by the city

We reported it to the owner. About six people live there. And yes licensed by the state of CA.

And yeah I am hoping my parents get Medicaid to pay for her in a nursing home.

The latest news is that the same caregiver is "accusing me of giving him dirty looks" and if I do it again they will throw out my grandma. And my mother blames this **** on me and said some hurtful things and thinks its all my fault.

Sounds fishy at my grandma's place. I'm thinking if my mom wants to raise hell, then maybe I should raise hell back? Meaning if they are going to throw accusations on me I will call them up and look into this.

What say you fellow posters?

Frankly, the whole situation sounds fishy to me. Can you describe the group home scenario any better? Is this a private home where the owner takes in elderly people to care for them?

Why is your mother so intent on keeping your g'ma in this place? Is it really hard to find a placement for her? Does your mother not believe that the caregiver slapped your g'ma? Does your mother have some financial stake in not seeking Medicaid on behalf of your g'ma? (Because she doesn't want to divulge financial info to the government, or doesn't want to lose property currently owned by your g'ma, or something similar?)

What did the owner do when you reported it? The only acceptable response if the owner believed the allegation was to fire the employee. Anything less is condoning the behavior and the owner is opening him/herself up to lose the license and also to a lawsuit.

My own mother is in a private home, owned by an R.N. who cares for 4 elderly women. If I had an inkling that a caregiver had slapped my mother, I would (1) move my mother home with me immediately until I could find another place for her; (2) tell the owner what had happened; (3) report it to the licensing agent and (4) report the caregiver to the police.

Your mother's reaction does not make any sense to me.

[the city]

Originally Posted by Marlow

Frankly, the whole situation sounds fishy to me. Can you describe the group home scenario any better? Is this a private home where the owner takes in elderly people to care for them? It's a small suburban home with 2 RNs a day, one male and female. 6 ladies.All very silent. Yes, its a private home called Sunrise.

Why is your mother so intent on keeping your g'ma in this place? Is it really hard to find a placement for her? Does your mother not believe that the caregiver slapped your g'ma? Does your mother have some financial stake in not seeking Medicaid on behalf of your g'ma? (Because she doesn't want to divulge financial info to the government, or doesn't want to lose property currently owned by your g'ma, or something similar?) Yeah, my mom now believes the caregiver is innocent. Medicaid told us rarely they pay to put some one in a nursing home. And my grandma only has one source of income and cant afford much. My grandma can barely pay $3250 a month for everything. Nursing home would cost double.

What did the owner do when you reported it? The only acceptable response if the owner believed the allegation was to fire the employee. Anything less is condoning the behavior and the owner is opening him/herself up to lose the license and also to a lawsuit. Owner spent the night at the place when we reported it and talked to the caregiver. Not sure what else.

My own mother is in a private home, owned by an R.N. who cares for 4 elderly women. If I had an inkling that a caregiver had slapped my mother, I would (1) move my mother home with me immediately until I could find another place for her; (2) tell the owner what had happened; (3) report it to the licensing agent and (4) report the caregiver to the police.

Your mother's reaction does not make any sense to me.

Yes her reaction does not make any sense. I am not sure if I am going to report the incident to the police or not. I did report it to the Omninisman. And I got a number for Senior Connections today. In the meantime, I am just going to visit my grandma daily to make sure they know I am watching

[Marlow]

Originally Posted by the city

Yes her reaction does not make any sense. I am not sure if I am going to report the incident to the police or not. I did report it to the Omninisman. And I got a number for Senior Connections today. In the meantime, I am just going to visit my grandma daily to make sure they know I am watching

Under the circumstances, I guess that's all you can do and thank goodness you're willing to do it.

I guess the Medicaid laws are different in California. In Texas everyone I know who is in a nursing home that accepts Medicaid pays, at least in part, with Medicaid. My mom is currently paying out of pocket for the home-based care she is receiving, but if/when her money runs out, I'll have to transfer her to a nursing home and Medicaid will pay for the difference between her income and the cost of the nursing home. (Assuming the entire economy hasn't gone belly up by then.)