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IF the nursing home is a Medicaid provider they must keep the patient. However, going from private pay to Medicaid usually means lesser accomodations such as private room or semi-private to a more ward-like setting. Theoretically, the care should be the same.
Again - mileage will vary. My FIL's SNF was mostly private rooms. There were a few double rooms. But the people who lived in them were mostly married couples - relatives (like 2 sisters) - etc. Robyn
I think there are far more elderly who are abused and neglected by family members (intentionally or inadvertently) who opt to take care of them at home, than by employees in a nursing home. There was a local case recently of severe neglect of an elderly woman who was "cared for" by her two sons, she died from horrible bed sores. If you discover nursing home abuse you have legal recourse; if you try to provide nursing care yourself and something goes wrong (and it can happen very quickly), you can go to jail.
My own mother learned the hard way about trying to do her duty as the only daughter, taking care of her mother in our home when I was a kid. My grandfather made her promise "never to put Mom in a nursing home" before he died. So she dutifully did what she felt was required of her until all the lifting gave her a heart attack. There was no way we could afford home care so into the nursing home my grandmother went. My mother then gave me the imperative: "When it's my turn, don't hesitate to put me in a nursing home!"
Well, nowadays nursing homes are for people on feeding tubes or ventilators, or for people with advanced Alzheimers. So I put my mom in assisted living. They do so much for her there that I never could have provided at home. There are nurses in charge of her care, a doctor visits her when needed, the podiatrist visits to care for her foot issues, caregivers check on her at intervals during the night and change her as needed. She's at the point now where I can't physically get her in and out of my car safely to take her to appointments. I'm glad I moved her there before it got to the point where I could have endangered her health inadvertently by attempting to care for her myself. And I'm grateful for the foresight she had about her own care needs.
Usually - employees at both elder care facilities and medical facilities will help you to get someone into and out of a car if you need help. I hope you have found that to be the case. Robyn
I know someone who is caregiving her mother at home, and it's very possible the mother would get better care in some ways in NH or AL. The daughter is not strong enough to lift her mother. If she ever drops her and the mother is injured, the daughter could be prosecuted for physical abuse. This woman has sacrificed so much in order to keep her mother out of NH, but is it really better?
No - it's not better if you can't lift someone. How can you take care of someone if you can't lift them? Robyn
No - it's not better if you can't lift someone. How can you take care of someone if you can't lift them? Robyn
She (I'll call her Marta) does the lifting, several times during the day and night. Marta has to get her mother to the bathroom, she feels. The pain from the lifting is terrible and she feels like her arms will break. She is a very skinny little woman, and her mother is normal size. The mother has osteoporosis and already has fractures in her pelvis and spine. So dropping her even slightly might cause serious damage.
Of course, if the mother were in NH, she could be dropped there also. But at least they have caregivers who are strong enough to lift.
Marta has 2 sisters nearby, and she feels her sisters do not help her enough. They won't stay with her over night to help with the lifting, for example. Marta fears that if she dies before the mother, the sisters will put the mother in NH.
Marta made this decision, to care for her mother in her home, and she resents that her sisters won't cooperate and make it easier for her. She can't understand that this was her own decision, not her sisters', and they have no obligation to participate.
I have told her many times that her sisters have no obligation or desire to make big sacrifices in order to keep their mother in Marta's home. But she never hears me. She is bewildered and baffled that her sisters go on with their normal lives, leaving her with most of the stress and difficult exhausting work.
Robyn, are you inclined to write? If so I would like to see you develop a small book on caretaking issues from your viewpoint. I bet you could attract a publisher for this, if you pitch it well in a query letter and include a chapter sample. I think that people with hardcore experience (esp with the financial and law angles you have) should be writing books for others. What's out there is not that realistic or based on empirical knowledge. Just at thought.
I think there are far more elderly who are abused and neglected by family members (intentionally or inadvertently) who opt to take care of them at home, than by employees in a nursing home. There was a local case recently of severe neglect of an elderly woman who was "cared for" by her two sons, she died from horrible bed sores. If you discover nursing home abuse you have legal recourse; if you try to provide nursing care yourself and something goes wrong (and it can happen very quickly), you can go to jail.
My own mother learned the hard way about trying to do her duty as the only daughter, taking care of her mother in our home when I was a kid. My grandfather made her promise "never to put Mom in a nursing home" before he died. So she dutifully did what she felt was required of her until all the lifting gave her a heart attack. There was no way we could afford home care so into the nursing home my grandmother went. My mother then gave me the imperative: "When it's my turn, don't hesitate to put me in a nursing home!"
Well, nowadays nursing homes are for people on feeding tubes or ventilators, or for people with advanced Alzheimers. So I put my mom in assisted living. They do so much for her there that I never could have provided at home. There are nurses in charge of her care, a doctor visits her when needed, the podiatrist visits to care for her foot issues, caregivers check on her at intervals during the night and change her as needed. She's at the point now where I can't physically get her in and out of my car safely to take her to appointments. I'm glad I moved her there before it got to the point where I could have endangered her health inadvertently by attempting to care for her myself. And I'm grateful for the foresight she had about her own care needs.
There also is a social ascept that comes with a nursing home/assisted living that can't be replicated. The one my MIL is in has something almost everyday during the week. My dad didn't live long to make it to a assisted living facility, but we moved him to a senior apartment complex because he felt isolated. I was able to run errands and such due to my flexible schedule at the time.
My sister wasn't able to help due to living out of state. She was a SPED teacher and visits were limited to when school was not in session. She did make an effort to try and call once a week. She did time off during what was his final illness. My dad had left everything to me. I ended up giving her all of his money and giving his belongings to my grown grandchildren.
As for my own care, personally I would rather be shot. Unfortunatly that is illegal. People in my family tend to die before 65 because of lifestyle choices. Being a non-smoker and non-drinker I'm not too concerned. My doctor tells me that I am a model patient and very pleased. My oldest son has his own health problems. My youngest son and daughter have young children at home. My oldest daughter lives out of state and visits when school is out of session and probadly never move back.
Usually - employees at both elder care facilities and medical facilities will help you to get someone into and out of a car if you need help. I hope you have found that to be the case. Robyn
Ummm... the last time Mom came out of the hospital the tech who rolled her out was afraid to do it so I had to put her in the car myself to take her back to the AL. Nearly dropped her. And this is a car I bought specifically to make it easy on her to get in and out of (which it has been until this last injury). I should probably have gone with the non-emergency ambulance. I am just glad for her own comfort that many of the people she needs to be seen by can come to her, which wouldn't be the case if I cared for her at home.
When my mom was more mobile (she's now in a wheelchair fulltime)..even with her walker - and she had doctor appointments around town and my siblings couldn't get away from work to take her? It frightened her to no end to take the local eldercare bus. Staff were less than helpful (she's no longer at that assisted living center). Then - on the other end at the doctor's office - very few were there to see that she boarded and disembarked the bus carefully enough so she wouldn't fall. It's truly frightening.
Some docs and health care providers make ALC visit. More should.
She (I'll call her Marta) does the lifting, several times during the day and night. Marta has to get her mother to the bathroom, she feels. The pain from the lifting is terrible and she feels like her arms will break. She is a very skinny little woman, and her mother is normal size. The mother has osteoporosis and already has fractures in her pelvis and spine. So dropping her even slightly might cause serious damage.
Of course, if the mother were in NH, she could be dropped there also. But at least they have caregivers who are strong enough to lift.
Marta has 2 sisters nearby, and she feels her sisters do not help her enough. They won't stay with her over night to help with the lifting, for example. Marta fears that if she dies before the mother, the sisters will put the mother in NH.
Marta made this decision, to care for her mother in her home, and she resents that her sisters won't cooperate and make it easier for her. She can't understand that this was her own decision, not her sisters', and they have no obligation to participate.
I have told her many times that her sisters have no obligation or desire to make big sacrifices in order to keep their mother in Marta's home. But she never hears me. She is bewildered and baffled that her sisters go on with their normal lives, leaving her with most of the stress and difficult exhausting work.
How sad - for Marta - and her mother. Lifting is really tough. My FIL was no heavyweight (he was tall - about 5'10" - but always kind of slim - 150-160 pounds). Yet - in a SNF - he always had 2 people to lift him - one on each side. A lot of the CNAs in his SNF were from the former Soviet Union. They looked like weight-lifters (and drank vodka like water ). And when my husband and I took my FIL out of the SNF - it was the same - one of us on each side (and when my husband did it alone - he always got help - once he had one of his father's docs from Mayo help him in terms of getting his Dad into the car after a late afternoon appointment). Because that's the safe way to do things. Both in terms of the person being cared for - and the health care provider.
I can't look back through all your messages while I'm writing this one - but why did Marta decide to move her mother into her house? And did she ever have discussions with her sisters before she did it? It kind of sounds a little like my father's family. Where one sister - the youngest of 3 sisters (and by far the least healthy) took it upon herself to care for her parents (although in their home - not hers). The deal was that my grandparents had about $150k - and she was supposed to get their money when they died. But my grandparents lived to be 96 and 103 - and by then - all the money was gone. So my aunt got nothing from her parents. And when she got sick and had to go into a SNF - she didn't have a penny and had to go on Medicaid. Neither my father nor my uncle (the 2 guys in the family) did anything to help their parents. Except my father (not my uncle) did give my aunt about $500/month to help with "extras" when she was in the SNF on Medicaid. Until she died.
Anyway - I'll do (and have done) lots of things for parents. But taking care of them in my house - no way. And if anyone thinks they can do it - I suggest buying 2 40 pound bags of bird seed - taping them together - and carrying them around for a while (that would be a small frail elderly woman - for a more normal sized person - try 3 or 4 bags). Robyn
my dad spent 3 years in a nursing care facility before he passed away. there was no way he could be cared for at home. he was paralyzed from a stroke .
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. People in my family tend to die before 65 because of lifestyle choices. Being a non-smoker and non-drinker I'm not too concerned. My doctor tells me that I am a model patient and very pleased. My oldest son has his own health problems. My youngest son and daughter have young children at home. My oldest daughter lives out of state and visits when school is out of session and probadly never move back.
). And when my husband and I took my FIL out of the SNF - it was the same - one of us on each side (and when my husband did it alone - he always got help - once he had one of his father's docs from Mayo help him in terms of getting his Dad into the car after a late afternoon appointment). Because that's the safe way to do things. Both in terms of the person being cared for - and the health care provider.
