Originally Posted by CArizona
Thanks! Normally I take pride in understanding myself and my feelings and emotions...But I can sure be "whacko" and "all over the map" emotionally now! My husband knew how to help me but he's gone now...He was my anchor! I never felt weird or crazy when he was right by my side!...It's always been hard for me to ask others for help. And I don't want to be a burden on other people...I do ok most of the time but some days have been rough...I decided to do more writing and posting to let things come out...Thanks for caring! My goodness! I sure have a lot of insecurities at times. More than I realized! Most people view me as a "super strong" person! Maybe this has been a problem because everyone thinks I can handle anything all by myself! And I can! But I do have some "off days!"
Writing always seem to help. When there is no one around to talk to, sit and write your feelings. Sometimes it is easier to see things clearer if they are in writing.
Originally Posted by mistygrl092
If you are in the Phoenix metro area I'd like to recommend Hospice of the Valley
. I think it's www.hov.org
. I've gone to their grief groups and this is a wonderful organization. They also have an online forum. DM me if you'd like more information. I am sorry for all the sadness you have had to endure. BTW, they will even offer a few one on one counseling sessions to you. My dad died out of state and was in hospice and yet they did this for me.
I second that! Hospice of the Valley is a terrific bunch of people!
I lost my mom to cancer in 2003 and my son and I would have been lost without the Hospice nurses. They were such a help.
Originally Posted by CArizona
I've sure been through a lot (and been through many different phases) since I started this thread last year...The thread got "buried" for quite awhile and I was surprised that it "popped-up" again...I definitely had to "grow-up fast" during this past year and I've changed a lot. I've gotten used to "going it alone" most of all and I've became stronger than I ever could have imagined last year or the year before when my husband passed away...My son went through 2 brain tumor surgeries within a 5-month period. It took him quite awhile to regain his speech after his last surgery in November...He's in a rehab facility now and needs special care but his mind is strong and he speaks much better now and he has his sense of humor back!...The doctors say the tumor could grow back at any time. But we both try to stay positive and hopeful!
I didn't realize at first that this was an old thread, but am glad I decided to stop and read it. I am happy that your son is getting better. Sounds like he has a terrific mom on his side.
I've enjoyed this thread immensely. I cared for my mom for less than 4 months while she battled and lost to lung cancer. Each and every suggestion on this page is helpful in some way to some one and I just want to thank everyone for their contributions. (I am saving some of these posts for future references.)
When I started reading this thread I was thinking I wanted to tell you to write - and write some more. I'm a writer - a poet. I write and think everyone would benefit from just simply sitting down and writing down their feelings and thoughts. I kept journals for years through my own dark days and then through caring for my mom. I destroyed them afterwards because the pain was in those pages. The internal pain of losing a loved one never goes away, but by releasing my words, I was free to move on.
I put together a book of my poetry called Golden Flowers: a poetic journey through the seasons of grief
. This poem is just one that I wanted to share in this thread.
I know each of you will understand.
The thorn tree in the whirlwind
pierces straight into my heart
Each prick is like a dagger
that is tearing me apart
As I spin in mass confusion
wondering where I'm going to land
I'm lost within the cyclone
as I try to understand
To spirit pass our loved ones
through the tunnel spinning 'round
They leave us with our sorrow
in a twister off the ground
I reach beyond the whirlwind
seeking shelter from the storm
Looking for safe haven
and a soul to keep me warm
And there outside the cyclone
a wondrous sight to see
The world beyond is steady
my soul can now break free