Wants a new car (parent, money, senior, assisted)

[Oildog]

I have a parent in the mid 70s who wants a new car. I drove with her in the Spring and she functions well enough. Problem is, she has no money and is hinting that she wants me to buy her one. I dont think she can afford a payment. Maybe I'm selfish but I really dont want to cough up $10-15,000 for her to get another reliable car. Thoughts?

I should add she is in an assisted living center and I live in another state. Maybe I should tell her she should rely on public transit.

[sweetana3]

Exactly why does she expect you to buy her a car? Is it her money you would be using?

How would someone in assisted living pay for insurance (would she even be able to buy insurance)? Is her income high enough for the additional bills? If not, that is the answer to give her.

This post is very strange.

[Briolat21]

Yeah - not sure this is exactly a "caregiving" post as much as it is a "how do I deal with my parent" post.

If you are her POA, etc... then you examine her finances and determine if she can afford a car. If she can, and isn't a danger - its not really your place to say "no".

If this is a capable person who lives in a retirement home, and they want you to buy them a car just because you have more money than them .. well I don't know what to tell you. My parents wouldn't have asked that of me, and I have no idea how you say 'no' - except that in most cases you probably do.

Unless you're so wealthy that you'll never miss $10-$15K. If I were that wealthy I'd just buy her the car. But I'm odd that way.

[bouncethelight]

My Grandma is 86 and drives hundreds of miles a month, and has a car newer than mine - and is considering getting an even newer car.

I don't think age has anything to do with it. If your parent is capable of driving, and wants a new car - why would it matter if she's in assisted living and over 70?

Should you pay for it? That's another question entirely! And the answer would depend on both of your finances...

[Wayland Woman]

Originally Posted by bouncethelight

My Grandma is 86 and drives hundreds of miles a month, and has a car newer than mine - and is considering getting an even newer car.

I don't think age has anything to do with it. If your parent is capable of driving, and wants a new car - why would it matter if she's in assisted living and over 70?

Should you pay for it? That's another question entirely! And the answer would depend on both of your finances...

I totally agree everything you're saying. Also, most towns will have a place where you can go to get a senior an evaluation to see it reaction times, etc., are safe for driving. Check with out-patient rehab centers to find out who has the driving simulator machines.

[yellowsnow]

I also vote to have her evaluated to make sure she is still safe on the road. We all age differently and she may be good for another 10 years or so. No way to make that determination from another place. Don't make her dependent on others if she is still OK.

If she's still good to drive, then you decide if you want to buy her a car. She probably doesn't NEED anything great. She probably doesn't drive more than a few miles away from home. A clunker with AAA is probably all she actually needs to have. Now if she's still wanting a new, cool car, too bad unless she wants to pay for it!

You might as well get used to dealing with these things now. As she ages, you will have to do more.

[seain dublin]

Originally Posted by Oildog

I have a parent in the mid 70s who wants a new car. I drove with her in the Spring and she functions well enough. Problem is, she has no money and is hinting that she wants me to buy her one. I dont think she can afford a payment. Maybe I'm selfish but I really dont want to cough up $10-15,000 for her to get another reliable car. Thoughts?

I should add she is in an assisted living center and I live in another state. Maybe I should tell her she should rely on public transit.

Well if she lives in an A/L, they have day trips which allow them to go shopping and to get to Dr. appts.

It's up to you, I will say you don't need 10 to 15K to get a reliable used car.

But if you buy it, who would cover insurance?

Maybe this is just a passing idea, and she will move on to something else.

[stevej64]

oildog
YOU REMIND ME OF A OLD SAYING THANKS FOR ALL THE HELP RAISING ME NOW YOU CAN RAISE YOURSELF.YOU ADMIT YOU HAVE THE MONEY

[jfkIII]

A new car, in this situation as you have stated it, is beyond caregiving, IMO.

[howard555]

Originally Posted by Oildog

I have a parent in the mid 70s who wants a new car. I drove with her in the Spring and she functions well enough. Problem is, she has no money and is hinting that she wants me to buy her one. I dont think she can afford a payment. Maybe I'm selfish but I really dont want to cough up $10-15,000 for her to get another reliable car. Thoughts?

I should add she is in an assisted living center and I live in another state. Maybe I should tell her she should rely on public transit.

Expect more high dollar request, or ideas, in the future.
My parent, at age 87, began to occupy some of their time by desiring to spend money on things that were not needed. A new roof, a new stove, remove all the carpets in the house for wood floors (though they could not walk without a walker = frequent falls on wood floors), electrical wiring to a large storage shed that was never used after dark. They did pay for a new transmission for their 2nd vehicle when they did not need a new tranny. They also spent $10,000 for two new teeth, because tney wanted to die with all 32 of their teeth. There are reasonable expenses and purchases and then there are the ones that are not justified at all, such as the two new teeth.