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Just read Still Alice by Lisa Genova. The only book recommended by the national Alzheimers Disease Association, it is so well written and will give the reader incredible insight into what 50 year old PhD psychologist Alice is experiencing. Actually it would be helpful to anybody dealing with Alzheimers in any way. Not as depressing as it sounds. A valuable tool for a caregiver.
Afetr reading it,I gave that to a friend that kept her husband at home long past the time that she should have, so she was first-hand familiar with all stages.
She agreed it was as well written as one could expect from someone that didn't actually have the disorder.
It certainly gives good insight as to what to look for in someone that may be trying to compensate/hide it as well as some good hints for coping methods.
Although I do not have a family member at this time dealing with Alzheimers, my best friend has early onset Alzheimers. I look back and can see how she was coping/hiding it as early as 15 years b/f her diagnosis. She was diagnosed a little more than 2 years ago, but I knew "something" wasn't right long b/f her diagnosis. She blamed her changes in behavior on panic attacks, anxiety and other health issues.
Thank you for your opinions on the book. I will definitely get it and I think it could be helpful for my friend's hubby, whose world has been turned upside down. As a couple, they have isolated themselves -- especially in the last 18 months. Hubby retired even tho he didnt' want to (loved his work; made good $$$, too) and now my friend has progressed to a stage where she has panic attacks (mitigated somewhat by meds) nearly every evening, when it starts getting dark. I am at a total loss how to be of any support to either of them, as they won't answer the phone (took the landline out) and dont' keep their cell phones turned on. Hubby sounds exhausted and ill-tempered if I do catch him on his cell, and talking to my friend is like a black hole - she typically remembers nothing about the conversation.
I feel like I should be doing something but I don't know what that would be. We live about 2 hours apart so it isn't as though I can be there regularly and that is probably what would help hubby the most -- just having someone else with her so he can get out of the house a bit. When I have suggested that, tho, he says he doesn't have any place he wants to go. :-(
Any suggestions are appreciated. Thank you for sharing the book, KUDZU.
Although I do not have a family member at this time dealing with Alzheimers, my best friend has early onset Alzheimers. I look back and can see how she was coping/hiding it as early as 15 years b/f her diagnosis. She was diagnosed a little more than 2 years ago, but I knew "something" wasn't right long b/f her diagnosis. She blamed her changes in behavior on panic attacks, anxiety and other health issues.
Thank you for your opinions on the book. I will definitely get it and I think it could be helpful for my friend's hubby, whose world has been turned upside down. As a couple, they have isolated themselves -- especially in the last 18 months. Hubby retired even tho he didnt' want to (loved his work; made good $$$, too) and now my friend has progressed to a stage where she has panic attacks (mitigated somewhat by meds) nearly every evening, when it starts getting dark. I am at a total loss how to be of any support to either of them, as they won't answer the phone (took the landline out) and dont' keep their cell phones turned on. Hubby sounds exhausted and ill-tempered if I do catch him on his cell, and talking to my friend is like a black hole - she typically remembers nothing about the conversation.
I feel like I should be doing something but I don't know what that would be. We live about 2 hours apart so it isn't as though I can be there regularly and that is probably what would help hubby the most -- just having someone else with her so he can get out of the house a bit. When I have suggested that, tho, he says he doesn't have any place he wants to go. :-(
Any suggestions are appreciated. Thank you for sharing the book, KUDZU.
Anifani, would it be possible to go over and take her out for the day to do girl stuff like shop and mani/pedi or whatever you guys did before and that wouldn't shine a spotlight on her disability? Then maybe he could just stay home and get some rest for the day. He may be not quite sure how to take you up on this but tell him you miss the old times with your friend and want to spend time with her (rather than presenting it as doing him a favor). It probably would not be best to ask her first but just have you show up b/c either she won't remember anyway or she will hyper focus on it to the point of being maddening and wearing him out further. However, if he says no, it may be due to the fact that he has some experience of sending her out with someone and then it making her worse for quite awhile and it may not be worth it.
Just to add, if the hubby is resistant to you taking her out, make a day trip down to see them both. I know music was very soothing when my Mom was living with this horrible illness, bring some music she ( or both of them) use to enjoy, maybe make a few ahead meals that can be stored in the freezer, bring some old photo albums, do her nails or simply sit in the yard and hold her hand. Just being there for the day should lift the husband's spirits, make him feel less alone and if he sees she is comfortable, he might go take a nap and relax a bit.
Spend time with you friend, it will be good for both of you! Maybe make a "respite" basket for her husband, a good book, something to do with his hobby, anything to help lift his spirits and give him quiet enjoyment for his lonely evenings. I think by reaching out to both of them, you will give them a gift that can not be repaid.
Thank you for recommending that book. I went to the library and borrowed it and it was very interesting and, you are right, not depressing!
My husband had Parkinsons and the physical aspects are in the early stages and controlled by medications, but the dementia is becoming more and more obvious. "Still Alice" gave me a glimpse into the future and let me know what to expect down the road. I would like to start preparing for it by scaling down and getting a smaller house while he is still lucid. I want him to have a chance to adapt to a new home so that the surroundings will be familiar later on.
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