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I know it's tough, so you have the right to complain from time to time! Don't feel bad about it. You're human!
And you do need to take care of yourself - easier said than done though, I know I don't take much care of myself so... But a little "me time" can go a long way for us caregivers.
So glad to read Amber and family are visiting soon!
Cyn, you have mentioned his son and some other family members that are not too far from you - is that right, or did I misunderstand? (I tend to do that on occasion! LOL )
I was just sitting here thinking that instead of you waiting for them to come to you and offer help, maybe you could ask/TELL them what you need for them to do. I don't know if that's an option or not. What if you made a list of things that you would like/NEED help with? As far as his son is concerned, could you have a conversation with him and just tell him that you are overwhelmed, his father needs his help - then proceed to tell him the things you expect from him? (Of course I mean in a nice calm way.) Just matter of factly stated. Even if he can't/won't do all of them, maybe he could do some of them. There is nothing wrong with you asking for help - honestly girl, if you overwhelm yourself you are not going to be any help to your DH or yourself. I know you know this already, but I really wish you would have some help. There has got to be something available to y'all - whether friends, family, neighbors, city, county, state, etc. I understand that you DH probably doesn't want a bunch of people around, and that he feels more comfortable with it being just you doing everything. Surely there is a way to help DH to be comfortable, but still have some help. We may have to use some creative thinking, but I bet with all the smart caring people here, we can figure it out.
Hugs and prayers for you, your DH, and your furbabies!
Cyn, you have mentioned his son and some other family members that are not too far from you - is that right, or did I misunderstand? (I tend to do that on occasion! LOL )
I was just sitting here thinking that instead of you waiting for them to come to you and offer help, maybe you could ask/TELL them what you need for them to do. I don't know if that's an option or not. What if you made a list of things that you would like/NEED help with? As far as his son is concerned, could you have a conversation with him and just tell him that you are overwhelmed, his father needs his help - then proceed to tell him the things you expect from him? (Of course I mean in a nice calm way.) Just matter of factly stated. Even if he can't/won't do all of them, maybe he could do some of them. There is nothing wrong with you asking for help - honestly girl, if you overwhelm yourself you are not going to be any help to your DH or yourself. I know you know this already, but I really wish you would have some help. There has got to be something available to y'all - whether friends, family, neighbors, city, county, state, etc. I understand that you DH probably doesn't want a bunch of people around, and that he feels more comfortable with it being just you doing everything. Surely there is a way to help DH to be comfortable, but still have some help. We may have to use some creative thinking, but I bet with all the smart caring people here, we can figure it out.
Cyn, I wonder if your DH would be willing to ask his son for some specific help.....on an ongoing basis...cleaning out the workshop and doing dump runs come to mind along with some of the home maintanence chores. Do storm windows need to be taken down....or do you have the newer windows and screens? I agree with Kats ..... it wouldn't hurt to ask.
If DH is going to be able to remain at home....you are going to have to have help....or your not going to make it. The emotional toll is terrible but the physical toll becomes impossible...and will get worse as his condition deteriorates.
I agree with the posts above mine - sometimes help is necessary, even if we hate asking for some. I am someone who grew up being told you have to manage by yourself, so asking for help just kills me... But with Miranda's situation I had no other choice at some point. I kept the help I asked for to a minimum, but it allowed me to do all the rest.
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