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Both of my folks are together in a group home. I'm taking them out for lunch tomorrow for Father's day. Dad will most likely need to use the restroom during or just after the meal. He needs help transferring from a wheelchair, toileting, etc.
Do I take him into the ladies room? I can't ask someone from the restaurant or a stranger to take him to the men's room as he can't be by himself.
So many things I'm learning about caring for my folks in a short time!
Have you already chosen your restaurant? If not, I would suggest a smaller restaurant that has one or 2 individual bathrooms rather than a larger place that will have multiple stalls.
In the best of all possible worlds, every establishment would have a family bathroom or a separate one-person handicapped accessible bathroom that you and he could go into together so you could help him. Unfortunately, many places don't have such a thing, and instead have only a regular ladies' room with several stalls, one of which is supposed to be wheelchair-accessible.
What I do with DH (confined to wheelchair and needs my help toileting) is hope the ladies' room is empty and just take him into the wheelchair stall in there. If someone is in the ladies' room, but the wheelchair stall is available, I just tell whoever's in there that I'm bringing my husband in to use the wheelchair stall as he needs my help. I've had to do this a couple of times, and people are usually very understanding. Once or twice, someone has volunteered to wait outside the ladies' room and let women wanting to use the rest room know that we're in the wheelchair stall.
Yes, Dad has chosen the restaurant already. I guess I'll just have to take him to the ladies room and hope others don't mind. (I'm sure he won't).
Well, I do think you need to go in first and let the ladies in there know first (and give them a chance to get out if they prefer). I don't think you should just walk right in with him. Maybe the staff can help you, why don't you call in advance and see what the facilities are like?
Are you certain that they do not have a family restroom or patient assistance accessible restroom? more and more places do have them. And from now on try to pick places you know do have them to avoid this problem in the future, as you say many things to learn and changes in logistics over what was a normal routine.
Yes, Dad has chosen the restaurant already. I guess I'll just have to take him to the ladies room and hope others don't mind. (I'm sure he won't).
Well you can't just hope others won't mind. What you need to do when taking elderly people who are disabled out is select a restaurant that has easy access, eat out at times when they will be less crowded, and as others have suggested have a family room restroom if you need to assist a parent of the opposite sex. Bringing a grown man into a ladies room isn't the same as a 5yr old boy.
I know you want to take your parents out, but Fathers/ Mother's Day are probably the two worst days of the year to eat out.
It's all about logistics, to make dining out as pleasant and problem free as possible you need to plan ahead and eat at places that have easy access(no steps), so that everyone including the caregiver can enjoy the experience.
Well you can't just hope others won't mind. What you need to do when taking elderly people who are disabled out is select a restaurant that has easy access, eat out at times when they will be less crowded, and as others have suggested have a family room restroom if you need to assist a parent of the opposite sex. Bringing a grown man into a ladies room isn't the same as a 5yr old boy.
I know you want to take your parents out, but Fathers/ Mother's Day are probably the two worst days of the year to eat out.
It's all about logistics, to make dining out as pleasant and problem free as possible you need to plan ahead and eat at places that have easy access(no steps), so that everyone including the caregiver can enjoy the experience.
I totally disagree. If a disabled man needs a woman to assist him with using the restroom and if there is no family restroom, then he needs to use the ladies' room. What the heck is he going to see? Ladies putting on their makeup? What are the ladies going to see? NOTHING. We have stalls with doors! Where's the problem?
I totally disagree. If a disabled man needs a woman to assist him with using the restroom and if there is no family restroom, then he needs to use the ladies' room. What the heck is he going to see? Ladies putting on their makeup? What are the ladies going to see? NOTHING. We have stalls with doors! Where's the problem?
The problem is you don't know how women who are in the ladies room might react. All it takes is one getting upset and you have created a problem. Just because YOU don't have an issue with it doesn't mean others won't.
When you are dealing with taking out elderly/disabled people you need to think ahead and find restaurants that are logistically easy.
For example, the Cracker Barrel chain would be a nightmare as you have to walk through their store to get through to their dining room, it is a maze for an able bodied person, never mind someone using a walker or a wheelchair.
There are many things to consider when selecting a restaurant. Is there ample handicap parking, are there steps, how far to get to a table from the front door, how far are the restrooms, eat out when they're not so crowded,etc.
Why not find one that makes it easy for everyone? The idea of eating out is for everyone to have a pleasant experience, in this situation a little planning can go a long way.
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