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I don't understand this conclusion. The manager seems to be saying that if the mother goes to an ombudsman, she may be believed to be competent because the ombudsman may not look at the professional opinions of others. Ergo, it's best if the mother doesn't take this step. Wouldn't the only way to ensure this be to allow her mother to leave the facility?
I don't see how the conversation encourages the daughter to keep her mother at the facility. Just the reverse in fact.
Did you read through the thread? Read comment #30, the manager is trying to frighten the OP.
This person is giving her incorrect information and stating that EVERY authority figure will side with the mother, and the OP will be facing charges including fraud. From the police to people at the mother's bank, they will all think the OP is being abusive and stealing from the mother.
And take whatever the mother says as gospel.
There is an agenda behind this from the manager. It is a very small ALF, if the OP removed her mother(and she needs to be in an ALF) the manager could be in fear of losing the several thousand dollars in revenue. And the room may remain vacant for awhile.
As I stated earlier the smaller private ALFs don't always get a vacancy filled as quickly as the larger corporate run facilities.
This manager tried to frighten the OP, the only logical reason behind that is concern over the loss of income if the mother was removed.
Did you read through the thread? Read comment #30, the manager is trying to frighten the OP.
This person is giving her incorrect information and stating that EVERY authority figure will side with the mother, and the OP will be facing charges including fraud. From the police to people at the mother's bank, they will all think the OP is being abusive and stealing from the mother.
And take whatever the mother says as gospel.
There is an agenda behind this from the manager. It is a very small ALF, if the OP removed her mother(and she needs to be in an ALF) the manager could be in fear of losing the several thousand dollars in revenue. And the room may remain vacant for awhile.
As I stated earlier the smaller private ALFs don't always get a vacancy filled as quickly as the larger corporate run facilities.
This manager tried to frighten the OP, the only logical reason behind that is concern over the loss of income if the mother was removed.
My impression as well was that the ALF was telling her if she ignores her mom's wishes to go home and mom calls the ombudsman, that daughter will be in trouble. It also seemed to be the opposite of them trying to keep her there to me. If they were trying to keep Mom, they'd be telling daughter NOT to worry about the ombudsman.
" One weird thing one of the managers at her alf said-she said that if my mom calls the authorities and seems normal, that the authorities will automatically believe whatever she says and that the authorities will completely disregard what her doctors have written and ignore her hospital records and diagnosis, and just go with what she says because she can be so believable and manipulative. This obviously makes NO sense to me at all and had me very confused. The manager also stated that the authorities will immediately investigate me for fraud because I am her POA, and because I live in her home (of course i do as i have been her sole caregiver), and that I better get a job asap so it doesn't look like fraud."
What is so hard to understand? Especially the part about the manger telling the OP they better hurry up and get a job because she lives in the mother's home. That she will be investigated for fraud. Many full time caregivers who have an elderly parent in their home or moved in with the elderly parent don't have a job outside of the home.
From what this manager told the OP(which is not true), it was done to frighten her.
I'm not talking about the ombudsman, I am referring to the comments that the OP made in post #30.
It's a strange situation, definitely. The manager has had many opportunities to have my mother leave the alf yet she always tells me that my mother definitely needs to be in an alf and that her alf is indeed the right fit. She could have easily had the facility director and doctor tell me to remove my mother either because they think she doesn't need an alf or that a different facility would be a better fit. I was all ready aweek and a half ago to have my mother moved to a larger alf with more activities because I thought it would make my mother happier. I even put down a down payment on the new alf and gave notice at the current alf. However, the placement coordinator felt it was a bad idea to move her again so quickly, plus a host of other reasons, and to top it off-my mother begged me not to move her (except to go home of course). The current facility had many chances to get rid of us but has always tried to keep us and work things out.
The only reason I can figure out for why I got the scare tactics is because they would be investigated too because my mother is accusing them of holding her with a fake diagnosis so they can make money off the "scam". Obviously there is no Medicare scam because she thinks the only reason she was at both the rehaband the alf is because all these doctors own the rehab and alf and are in cahoots to falsely diagnosis healthy patients to stick them in facilities to make money. Obviously, the three doctors that diagnosed her don't know each other, the rehab is corporate owned, and none of the doctors own the alf. I have MANY medical records besides my own (&many other's) observations. I just think the alf does NOT want the hassle of an investigation. That's why they were trying to get me to get her to quiet down.
Do you all honestly believe the authorities would only and completely go by what my mother, an Alzheimer's patient with tons of records showing dementia and delusional thinking, says and that they would NEVER take into consideration what 3 different doctors have diagnosed? ?
It is my understanding that some sort of hearing or investigation is mandatory if ombudsman is involved. Nobody has the kind of authority to unilaterally move someone without being overseen. Please see that attorney ASAP. Take all your records,, time line of who said what to you and how things progressed. Be ready to agree to having a guardianship hearing if attorney thinks that is the way to go. This means having your mother declared mentally incompetent. She doesn't have to know what it is, just tell her "A hearing to decide where you will be best cared for".
She probably won't understand but she is allowed and encouraged to be there. Your testimony as well as the records will weigh a great deal. No judge is going to release a woman on the streets if doctors have declared her incompetent and if you tell them your health is greatly compromised by caring for her at home she will remian right where she is.
Do you all honestly believe the authorities would only and completely go by what my mother, an Alzheimer's patient with tons of records showing dementia and delusional thinking, says and that they would NEVER take into consideration what 3 different doctors have diagnosed? ?
No, but if they do, get it in writing to protect yourself. If they are not willing to do that, send them a registered letter and an email dated the same day, summarizing what they said, including their refusal to consider the dementia diagnosis by 3 different doctors. Ask them to confirm.
I have already made my appointment with my attorney for Tuesday morning. I will take my records with me and follow his advice completely. I am also hiring a geriatric social worker through the Alzheimer's association and I will also follow her advice about proper placement. Now is not the time to sit idle and let the chips fall where they may. I've been sitting idle whilst a woman with dementia makes all the decisions-obviously this hasn't worked real well. So, it's time for me to be proactive. I'm not going to make myself physically ill any longer with this fear of everything. Enough already, I'm going to do whatever it takes to keep her healthy and safe and me sane.
I have already made my appointment with my attorney for Tuesday morning. I will take my records with me and follow his advice completely. I am also hiring a geriatric social worker through the Alzheimer's association and I will also follow her advice about proper placement. Now is not the time to sit idle and let the chips fall where they may. I've been sitting idle whilst a woman with dementia makes all the decisions-obviously this hasn't worked real well. So, it's time for me to be proactive. I'm not going to make myself physically ill any longer with this fear of everything. Enough already, I'm going to do whatever it takes to keep her healthy and safe and me sane.
" One weird thing one of the managers at her alf said-she said that if my mom calls the authorities and seems normal, that the authorities will automatically believe whatever she says and that the authorities will completely disregard what her doctors have written and ignore her hospital records and diagnosis, and just go with what she says because she can be so believable and manipulative. This obviously makes NO sense to me at all and had me very confused. The manager also stated that the authorities will immediately investigate me for fraud because I am her POA, and because I live in her home (of course i do as i have been her sole caregiver), and that I better get a job asap so it doesn't look like fraud."
What is so hard to understand? Especially the part about the manger telling the OP they better hurry up and get a job because she lives in the mother's home. That she will be investigated for fraud. Many full time caregivers who have an elderly parent in their home or moved in with the elderly parent don't have a job outside of the home.
From what this manager told the OP(which is not true), it was done to frighten her.
I'm not talking about the ombudsman, I am referring to the comments that the OP made in post #30.
Yes, the hurry up and get a job part is crazy and all of it is very unprofessional...however the rest still to me points to them saying "you better do what she wants including taking her home, because if she calls the ombudsman they'll believe her."
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