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Well, the reason she can't take out the trash is becase of the broken hip (she walks with a cane), but doesn't need the cane all the time. Sometimes I think she does it for attention. She's one of those people who defines herself by her health issues and tries to use them to get sympathy/attention. She used to do that with my brother's health issues, but once she no longer had to care for him, she soon came up with her own health issues. I think she's rather weak due to a life of little physical activity. But I think she's ok with driving. She did a lot of the driving when my parents came to visit 3 months ago (9 hour drive). She hasn't had a wreck since the 70s.
She seems to be able to do what she WANTS to do. If there's a sale at WalMart, trust me, she'll get there. At times she sounds completely reasonable and sane, then other times, I think she needs a nursing home. I can't do anything with her until after my dad dies. His VA social worker told me that she thought my mother was "delusional and completely self-involved", which is a pretty good assessment. And she doesn't understand why she doesn't have any friends, so I know she doesn't get that she has psychological issues.
Thank you for the clarification on her driving skills. I read it that she would get confused (possibly due to her medications) and be unable to take out the trash for that reason.
Thank you for the clarification on her driving skills. I read it that she would get confused (possibly due to her medications) and be unable to take out the trash for that reason.
That was my impression too. Now it seems she is not so bad if she can do all that driving and not have accidents. She may have some kind of mental issues, but maybe more like mental illness than senile dementia. Or maybe the drugs she takes are affecting her and her doctor isn't helping. A chronic basically untreatable illness like fibromyalgia is also hard to live with and very wearing over many years. People can get grumpy. I am not seeing why APS is called for here.
That was my impression too. Now it seems she is not so bad if she can do all that driving and not have accidents. She may have some kind of mental issues, but maybe more like mental illness than senile dementia. Or maybe the drugs she takes are affecting her and her doctor isn't helping. A chronic basically untreatable illness like fibromyalgia is also hard to live with and very wearing over many years. People can get grumpy. I am not seeing why APS is called for here.
That's why I've said I think it's a very hard call to make. I know she had problems finding a new GP doctor because some didn't agree with or like all the meds she's on. I don't understand how she can be on pain killers/ADD meds/anti-depressants and who knows what else, but doesn't appear to be receiving regular psychiatric attention. I talked to a friend who's a psychiatrist and he said she may have a personality disorder, which doesn't mean she can't care for herself. But physically speaking, she can't move things around, pretty much refuses to cook or do dishes... I imagine she does laundry. For years, she has had my father going out to buy dinner and bring it to her. But she's been doing some of that since he's been sick. My brother seems to think she's forgetful, but again, I don't live with them so it's hard for me to determine. I worry about her being alone and in mourning once my father dies. Maybe that'll trigger something in her to move to assisted living. I've told her there are companies that will come help her downsize and sell the house. But then the hoarding issues come up (attached to every item in the house and can't make any decisions to get rid of things). She's a mess.
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