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I had to do the same it its been 2-years now and my mom will still at times do the same as yours but I have also cut down my visiting times and at least in my situation my mom enjoys my company more.
If she has one of her episodes I listen but change the subject and always make it a point to bring something that will take her mind off of her situation.
It hurts but at the same time I know that its the best place for her because she cant come home and this is what you need to understand plus I did not get her was a phone and that helps.
Prayer is good and I truly believe that it helps but you have to live your life as well and remember that they will take care of her.
squirl I'm so glad you came by to update us on your Mom's status. It sounds as though she has accepted her new "home" and you are the reason she is safe and looked after.
Just an update. It's actually going quite well. mom has stopped even talking about going home. She has made several friends now and is on a mission to teach everyone at the facility hiw to speak German. She really enjoys telling people the German worlds for things. We are getting almost as many good days as bad days.
My son and I took her to the podiatrist twice and she quite willingly went home.
I am getting better at managing my departures Si that she is busy with an activity when I slip away. This is something I still struggle with.
It isn't perfect, because she has dementia and all that needs to be done is on my side of learning to manage her behaviors and my reactions. I like the facility alot. My only complaint is the constant loss of sweaters and lightweight jackets. She loves to wear a sweater at all times, either a cardigan or fleece zippered jacket. But I am having to buy her new ones....sometimes 2x a week. Even though I lable them!
Oh well, months ago I so would have been longing for today's issues. We are really pleased!
Im so glad to hear things are setteling down for you. Thank you for the update. I feel that im am a few steps behind you in your journay and it has helped me alot to read your posts.
The Laundry thing is very frusturating and becomign a big issue where my grandfather is. More of an issue to me then to him tho. Like you everythign is labled but it doesnt seem to help much. Maybe it is just normal at these faciliuties to loose and give back wrong clothing. One day i found a bright pink bathrode in my grandfathers closet!! That just seems careless to me on the staffs fault. Who would put a pink bathrobe into a mans closet. There have been more than a few other items missing or randomly appearing. the latest that is upsetting me is I had bought my grandfather a nice big warm white knitted blanket and 2 weeks ago i went and it was gone. The following week it was still gone but in its place was someone (kinda ratty/beat up) white mattress cover. And my grandpa was using it as a blanket while watching tv in his chair!! i dont think he even noticed tho :-/
Maybe my expectations are too high for the facility. But i feel when paying almost 9k a month his laundry (and everything else) should be pretty close to perfect>-
That's fantastic! About the laundry, go to the laundry area and ask if you can look through the "unclaimed" clothes, sometimes the labels fall off and they just keep them down there. Also go to areas such as the hairdresser, dining room and activities, it's possible Mom took off the sweater and left it somewhere. Also if there are others near your mom with dementia, sometimes they get "wanderers" who go into other people's rooms and take things, thinking they are theirs. We (my mom and I) had to get a lady out of the apartment across the hall from my mom as it wasn't hers....she was actually on the wrong floor. When I led her out, I had to take a handful of necklaces out of her hand, lol. The apartment door had been shut but not locked, and these things happen when there are people with dementia who are mobile. So it's possible one of Mom's neighbors has the stuff in her own closet!
I am so happy to know that your mom has adjusted. You went through a lot to get her there, and it is better to know that she is safe, well fed and medicated properly. You should be feeling relief.
On the laundry thing, ask an admin person about this. She/he may not know there is a problem. And, as another poster said, labels could be falling off in the laundry. The laundries at these places are pretty hard on clothing.
Having said all that, residents mix up their possessions often. It is entirely possible that your mom's sweaters are in other residents' rooms.
Buy her cheap clothing at this point. Nothing will stay nice from now on.
Using a laundry marking pen directly on the clothes helps a little bit.
Where my mother was, when she had a private room, she was able to lock her door. She seldom did though, since she had too much trouble unlocking it.
Using a laundry marking pen directly on the clothes helps a little bit.
Where my mother was, when she had a private room, she was able to lock her door. She seldom did though, since she had too much trouble unlocking it.
My experience with my mom as well. She lost track of her key sometimes too.
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