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I don't really post in this forum, but I am almost 40, and have been the caregiver type for most of my life, having taken care of both of my parents and my grandmother until their passing. After that, I was in the medical field for around 12 years or so.
I have been out of work, by choice, since last June. I decided to go back to school for nursing and I really decided it was too much. I do have some health issues.
I visited with my neighbor across the street today. She will be 89 next week, and her husband is 90. I can sit with them for hours and listen to their "back in the day" stories. I absolutely love it. She asked me how school was going and I told her I stopped about a week ago, I decided it was too much. She told me that was a funny thing because she was talking with her husband after the last time I was there and felt like I was very personable and would be a great person to come over and help a few times a week.
That made me feel pretty good. I would actually love to do that. I've told my bf I really don't care about money (sure he loved that) and wouldn't mind even just volunteering with the elderly. For me, it is very rewarding to help the elderly. I've been this way all of my life. Always at work I used to help the elderly patients. I really got tired of people treating them like they were less of a person because they were older.
I lifted them up and tried to get people to imagine if it were their grandmother, etc, standing there. How would you want them to be treated? Treat them that way. Treat everyone that way. Unfortunately that isn't the way things work.
I wanted to go back to school for something like an elder advocacy, but there is nothing out there! Now I just do what I can with the people I come in contact with on a day to day basis.
I guess I don't have a question or a problem with this post, but I did want to share how I felt about this and my day. It made me feel good for her to come out and say that.
I am blessed when I am able to be there for the older population. It just makes me feel good, and that is such a good thing.
Last edited by Pikantari; 11-21-2013 at 01:45 PM..
You might look into taking a gerontology course or two -- bet you would find the material really interesting. I'm sorry school didn't work out ... I know you were having issues with some of the youngsters. I LOVE having non-traditional students in my classes -- wish we had more of them!!
There's a small assisted living facility right across the street from my workplace ... I often think about volunteering over there or just going to sit with some patients who don't often get visitors. Maybe you will inspire me ...
Robyn you are to be admired for your attitude and I'm sure the couple will appreciate everything you can do.
Do they have any family in the area? Could you coordinate with them to be some sort of informal visitor when they can't? I bring this up because it might happen that their family would become suspicious of a young person taking interest in their relative and the family may not appreciate your kidnesses. Sounds terrible I know but there are some unscrupulous folks who do take advantage of lonely older folks. My own father in law was very much impressed by a young couple who took interest in him, had him over for dinner, got their kids to call him grandpa, etc. When they had him in they pulled the old "I can inherit a bunch of money and will share it with you if you will only pay the taxes and lawyer fees" He lost $300,000 and was so depressed over this con he took his own life.
Of course we know you aren't interested in anything like this but some others might not be as gracious with their attitude about your involvement. So for your own protection, if they have family I would advise you be in touch with them if only to introduce yourself to them, give them your number and offer to be who they could contact in emergency.
I was very much like you when I was your age. I loved talking to older folks and being of help. Made me feel wanted and needed and my neighbors really appreciated my attention. When I'm that age and have no close family near by I only hope I have a compassionate young woman who will care like you do.
You might look into taking a gerontology course or two -- bet you would find the material really interesting. I'm sorry school didn't work out ... I know you were having issues with some of the youngsters. I LOVE having non-traditional students in my classes -- wish we had more of them!!
There's a small assisted living facility right across the street from my workplace ... I often think about volunteering over there or just going to sit with some patients who don't often get visitors. Maybe you will inspire me ...
Thanks, Karen. I actually looked into that before I started and there is no course like that offered in this community college. I would have to go to the university, and that is/was not an option.
I used to visit at an assisted living facility where I used to live. One of my patients lived there. She was a sweet lady, had an apartment there.
I used to get Tuesdays as my half day and I would schedule her specialist appointments on those afternoons and drive her. She was afraid to drive outside of the city we lived in. I don't blame her!
Robyn you are to be admired for your attitude and I'm sure the couple will appreciate everything you can do.
Do they have any family in the area? Could you coordinate with them to be some sort of informal visitor when they can't? I bring this up because it might happen that their family would become suspicious of a young person taking interest in their relative and the family may not appreciate your kidnesses. Sounds terrible I know but there are some unscrupulous folks who do take advantage of lonely older folks. My own father in law was very much impressed by a young couple who took interest in him, had him over for dinner, got their kids to call him grandpa, etc. When they had him in they pulled the old "I can inherit a bunch of money and will share it with you if you will only pay the taxes and lawyer fees" He lost $300,000 and was so depressed over this con he took his own life.
Of course we know you aren't interested in anything like this but some others might not be as gracious with their attitude about your involvement. So for your own protection, if they have family I would advise you be in touch with them if only to introduce yourself to them, give them your number and offer to be who they could contact in emergency.
I was very much like you when I was your age. I loved talking to older folks and being of help. Made me feel wanted and needed and my neighbors really appreciated my attention. When I'm that age and have no close family near by I only hope I have a compassionate young woman who will care like you do.
The first time I introduced myself to them, their son was outside cutting grass. They have 3 kids, I think, and they are out at least every other week or so. I think they take turns, but I am not certain. I have met them all, and talked with them all. Very nice family.
I had wanted to go over and talk to them for a while, because I am used to living in an area where you know your neighbors and are friendly with them. I was worried they may be afraid of me, because I have a few tattoos, and one of them is very big.
I decided to just go over one day when their one son was there. I decided they would feel protected by him if they were afraid of me.
It was a great visit. I sat with them and talked and told them about myself and they told me about themselves. Great couple. I helped them with their lunch today.
I have taught my children to be the same way. If they ever have a chance to take a few minutes to sit and talk with an elderly person, do it. We can learn so much from them and I truly believe that.
I met an older gentleman at Starbucks a few years ago that way. He moved away, but we are still in contact. He came back to the area for a drs appointment a couple months ago and we met for coffee. I sent him a Veterans Day card and he appreciated that.
I rather miss him and our conversations. He actually seemed to be quite the conspiracy theorist, and he talked a lot about JFK and the ongoings in DC. Interesting conversations, for sure. He always encourages me to go to lots of different places in DC with the kids or SO.
That's sweet, and good for you. I was a hospice volunteer for a while (only quit because I did not like the organization I was volunteering with) and it was incredibly rewarding. I'd actually like to get back into it. One of my dogs is also a therapy dog and we go to ALF and nursing homes.
And I have tattoos and extra piercings too, Pikantari, and nobody has ever said boo about that.
I enjoy old people and their stories. Even crazy old people. Sometimes especially crazy old people.
That's sweet, and good for you. I was a hospice volunteer for a while (only quit because I did not like the organization I was volunteering with) and it was incredibly rewarding. I'd actually like to get back into it. One of my dogs is also a therapy dog and we go to ALF and nursing homes.
And I have tattoos and extra piercings too, Pikantari, and nobody has ever said boo about that.
I enjoy old people and their stories. Even crazy old people. Sometimes especially crazy old people.
That's nice. You know, I have found that the tattoos bother some people but not others. Especially with older people, I try to be careful.
Strange enough, in the medical office, most all of my patients, young and old alike really loved my tattoo.
Before I got it I let my office manager know what I was getting and showed her where and all of that. I scoured through the office manual and there was no mention of a tattoo policy, and many people in the office had them.
A couple months after I got it, I got called into the office. I needed to keep it covered because it would bother the elderly patients especially. A month later, I got called in again because too much of it was showing. I was asked if I woke up feeling angry and defiant, and is that why more of my tattoo was showing.
I put my 2 weeks in that day. Many patients were upset, and with good reason. They knew how many of the other staff treated them.
There were others with tattoos on their forearms and necks that showed all the time and I have a peacock on my shoulder and upper arm.
I go regularly to an eye clinic and there is a woman about 40-45 with a very obvious amateur tat which says "Come Fly With Me" on her forearm. It is very crudly done and she may have even done it herself. I was alarmed at first and watched her very carefully. I figured anybody with that on her body had been into drugs or something very unhealthy. But after awhile i came to really like her and I know other patients like her very much too.
I started thinking "What if the mistakes of my youth were visible on my body?" That attitude changed my fear of her. I don't generally like tats cause I'm old and to me they represent drunken sailors on shore leave but I've come to accept that my attitude is in the minority and some tats are really wonderful works of art.
I have only had this largest one for a little over a year and a half and I was working back then and saved for quite a bit for it. It was nicely done, imo, and cost a pretty penny.
I don't think anyone who saw it would think it was a jailhouse tattoo or anything like that. I think there is a picture of it in my profile. The one on my arm. The one on my back is pretty big too, but of course people can't really see that in an office-type workplace.
I guess I got my first one when I was 36 or something like that...
You remind me so much of my sister. She could spend hours just talking to the elderly. I was raised by my grandparents myself and they have some really interesting stories from back in the day.
I also have a couple of tattoos myself. Grandpa and grandma sadly didn't see them anymore. Now, you got me wondering how they would have reacted to it.
mod cut
Gianna
Last edited by Sam I Am; 11-26-2013 at 02:48 AM..
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