Things You May Need To Know... (parent, money, relative)

[PeachyMJ]

Both of my IL's had Medicare and a licensed podiatrist was covered by it. Don't know about Medicaid, as we did not qualify. In the end, my husband cut both his parent's fingernails and toenails. Could you have not done that for your dad. Unless he was diabetic it looks like they would have been a no brainer for you. I think you may be like a lot of us - you know a little about a lot of things, but not a lot about most. I really don't think you are very helpful to the majority of people who are posting/reading your thread.

[RevelationWriter]

Originally Posted by RevelationWriter

- I'll share this situation that happened between me and the nursing home financial office.
Who took care of dad's medical billing for me to pay.
She came to me one day saying that....

I would now have to start paying the $50 dollar service of dad having his toenails clipped.
As they (the nursing home) just could no longer disguise this service as a medical need.
To be covered by dad's health care provider.

I told her no need for her or them to be concerned about it any longer.
As I would be glad to pay for dad to have this service provided by my licensed Pedicurist.
Who'd come and give dad a Full Pedicure with foot and leg massage too, for $50.00.
Interestingly? I never heard anymore about this subject again.
As not only did this service continue for dad, but also his Health Care provider continued to pay for it too.

Now wasn't that odd? For me and her it seems. LOL

~ It seems that if dad was Not going to need this service from
those who provided it in the Medical field?

But would in fact replace their service with someone else's service?
Another type of service provider that is;
which could not only do this same job, but do it better? For the same cost?

Then their minimal service would no longer be needed from the Medical servicer that provided it.
Then, this job may be in jeopardy of existence.
Maybe they didn't want that word to get around!

Interesting how financial situations can change in one's favor.
When we can see ourselves as the one's who have power too.

And not just the power others say they over us.
For our compliance! At our 'out of pocket expense'.

Of course their not going to tell you.
But this is something else, you may need to know.
That will save another 'out of pocket expense'.

When they think one of their jobs is in jeopardy
they can work things out in benefit of the one's paying them to have a job.

[thedwightguy]

Originally Posted by RevelationWriter

- If you have money and assets you want your children to have?
Don't wait so long to give it to them.
Or they may have to give it to someone else...

Time for written, prof. advice.
Just because the admin. in the rest home said it doesn't mean it's true..........unless you give them the money or permission.

[RevelationWriter]

- When I became dad's legal Guardian
to be the legally responsible person to everyone getting paid.

I had to acquire other-checks with my name along with dad's for the same checking account.

Dad had certain incomes set up that directly came into his checking account.
Which neither did I separate for other accounts.

But the Attorney did tell me I could switch his monies
and or investments, or their interests around as I thought beneficial for income level increases.
But I thought dad knew best so I left all his accounts as he had them.

But, once I was the Guardian (having already reporting myself to) the Social Security division.
They sent me a notice the first two years
Informing me that Now I had to keep seperate track of everything I spent out of this government SS deposit.
I must report directly to them of what each itemized transaction of what this money was for.

Excuse Me? All the monies that were direct deposited into dad's checking account?
And I'm suppose to know from which money THE BANK Reimburses payments WITH when I write a check?
Really?
All the monies come into one pile and I'm suppose to know which money Is used by the Bank?
I was puzzled as to how they thought one could even perform such a feet.

I guess, thinking now, that I could have gotten A SECOND checking account with our names on it.
To then go back to the Social Security division
to get them to change over their direct deposit into The Second checking account.
So that would be the only institution in that account to keep a record for them of what the money was spent on.
Are You Kidding Me? Well, I did nothing.

- BECAUSE, they knew I already had to keep detailed records of what I spent his money on
for reporting to an Attorney and The Court on ever dime I paid out from dad's checking account monies.
But that was not good enough? Really? Since when?
I thought I do not have time to go through all this with them and the Bank yet again. Keeping more records.
Just so it can be Re-Proved to them again, what they already know at the end of every years anyway!

So the 3rd year they sent me another notice.
This time I reread some of their legal materials.
Of which certain lines informed me of my rights to do what I wanted. Being the Guardian.
So in their own words, I sent back their check box form with a revision on it from their own quoted legal statements
of my decision making rights for not complying. I never heard from them again, on this matter.

- You know what real power is?
When You Can Use What Others SAY ? To not do, what they say, you must.

Systems for us in legal-accountability to institutions
now has so many laws that they can come full circle in chasing their own tail.
It's all very confusing for them too.

So if it sounds like a foolish hardship for you to do?
Find another one of the laws they go by which cancels out the foolish one. By telling them
your now complying with that instead.
As that's what Lawmakers and or Attorneys are trained in doing as well.

[old_cold]

The short version of this...^^^^^
When the SS dept sent me the annual form about the dispersal of my aunts SS check, I wrote that all had been used to pay her bill at the assisted living facility.

[RevelationWriter]

- By Law I chose not to answer them every year. And they complied.

Being as my dad; in having an Analytical mind about me. Which does not shut off.
I always have to prove known truths by reasoning from that which, is to be proved.
I do find most always it does keeps my time and finances from serving the interests of others needlessly.

Such reasoning of things being proved to myself and others in situations? I think is worth sharing.
At such a time when reasoning of proof may help others to not feel so vulnerable.
But more in control. So these institutions can be more beneficial to us.

Of course there's a lot of good well meaning 'professional people' running these facilities.
But they only know how to administer so much control.
And at differing times it may not be enough, or it may be too much, as needed.

And it helps when one sees why they should navigate themselves or a loved-one through such systems of legal control.
To a most beneficial outcome available.

Control is an interesting position.
It is the position that can only be taken by those who know where they want to take them selves.

[RevelationWriter]

- I had cut my dad's hair for years.
So I informed the nursing home that he (I) would not
be needing to pay for that 'out of pocket' service.

But not too long after he was there I came in one day and his hair was buzzed off around the sides.
And sticking up on top.
My dad had a full head of beautiful silver hair. That had never thinned with age.
He also had most his teeth and in strong condition. He was such a handsome gentleman.
Women adored him.

I said, 'dad! ho cut your hair!?" He mumbled, 'some fool'.
When he first when into the nursing home he could speak intelligible at-times within reality.
All dad's health issues were with his brain. Having been in a horrid motor accident at 47.

But even though his neurosurgeon said he did have some brain damage.
Causing him to not deal calmly in most situations.
Being angry he could not let little things go without unpleasant scenes for everyone.
To someone who would meet him he seemed normal.
Drugs would keep him calm but he would take any till, it was too late for others.
So those who were around in every situation understood his limitations of reasoning.
But he still always did his own Banking. They knew dad so well at the Bank that he didn't not have to show any proof of anything. He would just go up to any teller And Just ASK for a certain amount of money and they gave it to him!

So the last year in his home dad came to the point that he was having trouble using his legs.
After testing, the Doctor told us the problem wasn't with his legs but his brain to function them.
Of course, as his reasoning was worst too. It wasn't long after that
I cleaned out his kitchen and moved him in with us. Within two weeks he was in a wheel chair.

But, some years before dad was in a nursing home.
When my mother and father law were in the nursing home I cut their hair,
trimmed their nails and helped brushed their teeth too.

Even through every time someone from the nursing seen me brushing dad's teeth they'd say.
'You Know We Can Do That'. But they never would. I waited for them to. But I did it.
These are services that are to be performed by paid staff.

Is it okay if I have one thing I choose not do? But make sure someone else gets paid to do it.

And at the same time my in-laws were both in the nursing home.
So was my grandmother too.
Thank God I didn't have to do anything for her but make time for a long drive and visit as well.
But my aunts and uncles took care of her.
So before dad was in the nursing home.
I had 3 others family members in nursing at the same time. I seen to.

I would also bring dad my home-cooked meals. And bring him lunch from his favorite restaurants.
When we had use of dad's little truck.
We also took him out to eat for a steak dinner on most Friday evening.
From the wheel chair we could move him to his little truck.
I always took dad out side for strolls on our visits.
He loved the sunshine. So after I had to sell his truck.
No longer being able to take him out for a steak dinners at nice restaurants.
I'd push him to the edge of Town to a sports bar for shrimp baskets.
If the weather was not too hot in the summer as I have asthma.
But I couldn't do it for dinner as the sports bar was too crowded with smokers.

Dad didn't know much in the nursing home. But he always knew who I was.
And that we were still going places together. And sharing good food.

Thanks for letting me share him here.

[RevelationWriter]

- Some people are called Crabs.

Reason being is that if only one Crab is put into a bucket it will get out.
But when more than one Crab is put in a bucket?
None get out cause they keep pulling each other back down.

[RevelationWriter]

- Surprising for me another experience I had with the Social Security Division.
Just to give others a heads up.

Is that, my dad having automatic bank deposit of his Social Security Check.

When I took over as his Guardian,
I was informed by the Social Security Division
that when dad died they not only required me to pay back the present month's check of when he died.
But I was to also pay back The Previous Month's Check as well!

So the same week dad died
I mailed them a check from dad's account for the amount of the two checks.

Only To Then Turn Around And Find Out From The Bank
That The Social Security Division Had Already TAKEN The Money From His Account Themselves!

So then I had to go show them I had done what was required of me by Law.
Which they did not give me a change to do before they dipped into dad's Bank Account and taken it themselves.
Yes, they reimbursed me. But, what a lesson it was for me dealing them.

Here hoping it's not the same surprising imposition for others.

[RevelationWriter]

- Having hired my share of Attorneys over the years?

Knowing, they all 'Practice Law'
is not knowing, they don't all 'Practice' The Same Laws!

We've all heard the advice of... 'get your self A Good Attorney'.

But how does one know which is 'A Good Attorney' ?

- Don't think that any high priced Attorney is the best for you.
I made this mistake costing me precious time and dad's money.

I will spare you all the run around this Attorney put me through to the letter of The Law!
As he did absolute nothing to help me over any hurdles of the Family Case of my dad's care
and who would care for him and his estate.

After that first year I complained to my tax man.
He knew of this up-town Attorney and agreed with me.
So he then advised me to his Attorney.
What A Difference His Attorney Made!

I love this old snapping turtle! He even reminds me of my dad!
He didn't ramble on and on racking up minutes for unless consolations!

This old Attorney never smiles and is curt with everyone even me. Well I'm use to that with dad.
So he doesn't offend me when speaking on everyone's ignorance!
He taught me a lot. In a short amount of time! He saved me time and money.

Big-Time Attorneys in small Towns handle Big-Time clients of the Town.
Oh sure they'll fill in time with family related cases.

But when one of their Big-Time Business clients needs them, on your time?
They will dump your case at the last minute into the lap of another Attorney in their Firm.
Who is in between some of their Big-Time clients at the time.
This happened to me.
For one point-in-time it was disastrous to my creditability. As this Attorney,
I had never seen before so she did not know me. And neither did she have to care.
After all she knew how to 'practice law' dealing me a fools hand!

After all the money I spent believing to have at least
established a credible relationship with my Attorney for him to represent me?
To then have this Attorney fumble through my records as I'm trying to write her notes in court to catch her up to speed!
What a circus, as I was made out to be the clown! I'll spare you the details as it won't help you either.

So what I want to tell you about is some of the things the Old Attorney taught me.
To this day 5 year later I'm still amazed which Laws he Practiced.

But, when your looking for an Attorney to handle Family Cases Of Care, And Or Inheritances.
I advise an Older Attorney that has been established in a Town most his life.
Who does not have an impressive firm of others to agree with what best for their business.

One single mature respected Attorney who can run his own show for a life time by himself.
Can tell you how to do the same.
If you can consider your tax man as a friend to your finances?
Then ask him who his Attorney is.
Even my tax man did not turn over his business to that circus of Attorneys.
But then, my tax man took over his dad's tax business.
So this old Turtle of an Attorney was probably the same Attorney his dad had in the tax business too.

- To Be Continued... The Old Town Turtle and The Banking System.