Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Long ago the AMA decided the treatment of too much drinking for too many years needed a name for the going social problem and Alcoholism was born. Before we were "alcoholics" we were common garden variety drunks who were detoxed and treated in state hospitals. If we didn't die in seizures, and after we quit puking we were 'treated' with vitamins. lots of orange juice, and nutritional food. Recovering drunks talked to us and convinced us there was a better way of life. We went to AA meetings kicking and screaming and we healed.
There are two kinds of drunks. The alpha is a sporadic drunk. They can not drink for months or even years, but when they do drink they drink to get drunk. The beta drinks frequently, and is usually on some type of schedule. It often progresses into daily drinking. In between alpha and beta is the social drinker. More often than not this personal is an occasional drinker. They do not drink on a scheduled. They might have a drink with their friends after work, but more often than not they don't. They might drink a beer or two on the weekend if friends come over, and they might have a drink before or after dinner in a restaurant. They usually like beer, wine, and mixed drinks. The difference is they rarely drink more than two drinks for any reason.
If one is observant we can always spot what I call the border line drinker. He drinks for the wrong reason. He drinks he says to unwind, and often gets hammered on weekends because he does not have to answer to the boss. The hangover is his reward. Heavy drinkers are really only one hangover from a drunk who lost control. We can get just as drunk on sherry or brandy as we can on mixed drinks, beer, wines, gin, vodka, scotch, rot gut whiskey or sterno strained through bread. Shot or drink, it still takes one hour before the breathalyzer falls to within the normal range. .
There are as many ways to drink it as there are to deny it. For every genius place you hide it, someone who is smarter than you and loves you will find it. If you are drinking heavy every weekend and you have the hangover to prove it ... it is probably time to rethink it before you cross the invisible line to oblivion.
It is the place where you have no self-respect, your kids hate you, and the wife wants a divorce. And you won't stop because THEY are the problem, you have it under control. No sir, they are not the problem. You are drowning in a sea of self-pity and old-fashioned bs and you do not know it. And yes you do have the urge to drink because you don't have the urge to stop.
The cost isn't in the price of the drink. It is the wreckage and the heart break booze leaves behind.
Quote:
Originally Posted by deevel79
Can someone help me understand alcoholism? I have been a social drinker for the past 15yrs and when I do drink I drink heavy. No fruity drinks either. I'm a cogniac drinker. As much as I've drank I never had the urge to need it. Where does this come from? Is it hereditary? Is it mental?
He has been in every rehab there is, and is not interested in any of them.
My job is to clean up after him, prepare his meals, which he does not eat much, encouragement to exercise, shower, etc. run errands, etc.
He shows me signs of wanting to get stronger and get out of his wheelchair. He told me just today, that he needed me to help him slow down on his smoking.
I have been encouraging him to drink more water, but its tough.
I guess my question would be how do I get him to eat more?
He has a very loose bowel, and with all the alcohol he consumes, its not a surprise!
I am only with him 3 days a week for 5 hrs a day. I call him on my days off, and will take him food, so I know he is eating.
He is very weak, but I want him to get better! He is killing himself, but how do I get him to see the "light?"
I read the whole thread but just responded to your first post. His family could rip out the carpet but that's not exactly a productive environment for him to live in everyday.. or his own puke.
SO, his life is pretty much being in a recliner and smelling puke and drinking a 6 pack everyday. Why would he need to get better in those conditions? He is not around anyone so yeah, he probably will die or wants to die.
They need to admit him and get him on some psychotic meds for number one. A bath wouldn't hurt. Or anti-psychotic meds. If he has tried that many treatment centers.. his problem isn't alcohol... and a six pack isn't going to cure whatever he has. It's 6 bucks but it isn't going to cure it.
It a cheap route for his family is all. Are you sure you can mentally go over there one day to find a corpse?
Last edited by thegreenflute334; 08-06-2014 at 07:31 PM..
Typical alky behavior. He's trying to make you responsible for his well-being. He can. You can't. He won't. It will be your fault in his addled brain. This dude is crossing lines/boundaries by playing to your need to be helpful.
Surely there are other who can benefit from the work you do. Do you work for an agency? Most screen clients to prevent situations like this.
I happen to be reading this with my old Al-anon sponsor next to me. She added "Fast" to my advice to run. Then she said, "He's two years old and doesn't know any better." He's an adult. Treat him like one. What you describe is enabling. Really. Won't make sense to you, but you are keeping him in that dependent state.
Psychosis isn't the problem. His family needs an intervention and confrontation with a person trained in both techniques and versed in alcoholism, then move him to hospital for detox. It would not take much for a wellness check by police, or a home check by the health department to establish an extreme unsanitary and unhealthy conditions exists. Shame on his family for allowing it.
They don't have to care, but someone should have common sense. The employee gets sick from working there ... ? Guess who is open to a big fat law suit?
Yes, judges can force drunks to go to AA. What the judge cannot do is force them to open their ears or stay sober.
We talked today about moving his TV in the living room, so he can get out of that back room.
He is sleeping in a recliner, instead of his bed, but I wish he would just move his bed into the living room.
I told the family today, that he does not need to be back there, breathing those toxic fumes, but she said that they don`t want to rip the carpet up, and get all new, just for him to mess it up again.
He was too weak today, and hung over to even get a shower! He was dirty.
How can a person just lay in filth like that? Sad!
Now, that is sheerly stupid and only an excuse. Just put down tile or vinyl flooring or laminate flooring instead of carpet.
They don't have to care, but someone should have common sense. The employee gets sick from working there ... ? Guess who is open to a big fat law suit?
Yes, judges can force drunks to go to AA. What the judge cannot do is force them to open their ears or stay sober.
I don't think he can drive.. but good point on the Law Suit. I bet if the OP suffered 'mental anguish' or got sick.. she could file something as well..
Most severe alcoholics develop staff infection. I am surprised he hasn't already. That's the breakdown of the good bacteria on the skin.
GADS! I almost made myself through up!
correction: Staph infection
Last edited by thegreenflute334; 08-07-2014 at 07:21 PM..
I've seen many faces in AA who come thru the doors, mad, disruptive, tearful, fearful, and even violent. Yet with time and patience and daily meetings they do come to understand they too can have a better life without alcohol.
One in particular did not have a high school education. She sobered up and earned her GED. Then she went to a community ollege for two years and earned a certificate. She went to college and in two years she earned a bachelors degree. Then she earned her master's and became an Alcohol/ Drug councilor at a hospital.
She was born and raised in a ghetto and the first in her family to earn a college degree. When I met her she wanted to kill everyone and trusteed none. She lived in a 100 year old house that should have been razed 50 years earlier. She had nothing except her children... yet her house was neat as a pin. We helped her and encouraged her when she stumbled and fell. She stayed sober and kept trying. She stayed sober and stared down defeat. She defied the people who told her she was loser and would never amount to anything except poor trash. Her children went to college too. Today her baby is 33 years old.
She is not an exception; she is an inspiration. She will tell you she worked hard for what she earned, and no one gave her any quarter or allowed her to make excuses. She did it because she wanted it. She did not want her children to grow up in the get to where she died.
For ever winner there is a loser who gives up on life who thinks AA is a game for fools. The problem in this thinking is the fools stay sober while the loser continues o drink while he declares he can ''handle it".
I've outlived everyone who said I couldn't stay sober because I didn't drink enough. I was young. I also outlived all those I twelve-stepped who didn't sober up. I've also buried friends who were sober a very long time. I buried my own and that is the hardest test of all.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
