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He is correct. He now has a few more days of life but the life he has most people would not want.
Hi DeCalf
The option in Oregon for the terminally ill only and must be approved & qualify by a board overseeing the right to die option and for docs to help their patients .
It's a personal choice for sure and controversial. I don't know what I would do if I had the same fate as the women who moved to Oregon. Ill pass on judgement until I walk a mile in her shoes.
I dont' get all the doom and gloom. People can live a looong time on dialysis, decades.
The guy is going through a severe health challenge and lifestyle change right now, but give the dude time to process it all.
It's about attitude. Is anyone telling him "you can beat this thing!"
His family should be saying "this is just a bump in the road, buddy. Learn what you have to do and get back to living."
"We need you around...so wallow for a week or so...but then snap out of it! And I'mm be around to kick you in the butt myself."
Dialysis is not a death sentence.
Granted if he doesn''t take care of himself better than he has been his quality of life will suffer....but dude, there's a LOT living he can do.
Life is short enough as it is....what's he going to do? give up and die? which I don't get the feeling he REALLY WANTS to do.
Sounds like he's just depressed right now.
Come on OP -- is there some kind of goal you can give him -- like the two of you, or three or four family guys going on a trip (golf/fishing) or something?
My mother's oldest sister was on dialysis for quite awhile.
She was told that they needed to amputate her legs, as they were developing gangrene.
She told them she would rather die.
She stopped dialysis, and stayed at home waiting.
I attended her funeral last year.
Making a decision like this is a very personal one.
It's hard to put yourself in their position.
Loss of energy, pain, and constant dialysis treatment, can really affect your will to fight and keep living.
If you have something to live for, then it's worth fighting for.
I know a guy who was having on and off health problems for almost a year before he was finally dragged to the hospital by his wife. He was afraid of the the hospital, doctors, needles and facing what he thought was wrong with him. He thought he had congestive heart failure but it turned out that his kidneys were shutting down. The nurse told him if he hadn't come to the hospital that evening he wouldn't have woken up the next morning. He spent a week in the hospital getting healthy enough to be discharged but now he faces dialysis 3 times a week and a complete change to everything in his life.
It has been 5 weeks now since he was told the bad news that his kidneys have shut down and I think what he is facing for the rest of his life is now hitting him.
He actually said the other day that he wishes he hadn't gone to the hospital and he had died.
How do you respond to that?
I'd like to say to him that he shouldn't have abused himself for decades and he should have bucked up and gone to the Doctors 6-8 months ago before things really took a bad turn but that would be like kicking him when he is down.
Speaking for myself, I understand his point of view. At least if he had died, he wouldn't be suffering, his family wouldn't be having to take care of him, etc.
I also would have wished to die. At least then my life insurance would have gone to my husband and taken care of him instead of the other way around. Now all I would have left is nothing and no way to die now without it being ruled suicide, and my husband wouldn't get my life insurance.
I don't know what to tell you to say to him, other than nothing.
He actually said the other day that he wishes he hadn't gone to the hospital and he had died.
How do you respond to that?
I'd like to say to him that he shouldn't have abused himself for decades and he should have bucked up and gone to the Doctors 6-8 months ago before things really took a bad turn but that would be like kicking him when he is down.
Compassion always takes a lot of effort, and there's always the temptation to skip that exercise and say: You knew the dangers of your lifestyle all along, why didn't you think of that long ago?
We're all gamblers at heart, from day one! Every time we insert the key into the ignition of our car, back out of your driveways, to go anywhere, we're gambling that, along the way, someone doesn't run a red light, we're not hit head-on by a drunk diver or someone having a medical episode.
And if you're unlucky enough to be in a car crash and end up a quadriplegic, what are you going to say? "You knew the dangers of driving a car..............."
Speaking for myself, I understand his point of view. At least if he had died, he wouldn't be suffering, his family wouldn't be having to take care of him, etc.
I also would have wished to die. At least then my life insurance would have gone to my husband and taken care of him instead of the other way around. Now all I would have left is nothing and no way to die now without it being ruled suicide, and my husband wouldn't get my life insurance.
I don't know what to tell you to say to him, other than nothing.
There's a waiting period of a year or two, then the money would be his.
There's a waiting period of a year or two, then the money would be his.
Perhaps it's the way you wrote this so it's not what you meant but to make it absolutely clear, insurance policies typically do not pay on a suicide unless the policy has been in effect for at least two years.
The reason for this exclusion is pretty obvious.
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