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I posted this on another forum and someone suggested this Caregiver forum. One thing I didn't mention in the earlier post - we live 4 1/2 hours away from the little country town where my brother lived.
My older brother died this week. He’d been a widower for four years and in a nursing home for nearly a year. I have a list of almost 50 people who were “there for him” - some since his wife died and many more who visited him and took care of him in the nursing home. I want to do something for them. When his step-daughter said she’d give me a list, I thought I’d give them all a gift card from one of the local stores. Now, with so many people, I’m not sure. Maybe give the nursing home administrator money to buy pizza or something else for the whole staff. We haven’t faced anything like this before, so I’m at a loss about what to do for them all. Can any of you give me some ideas? Thanks so much.
I'm sorry for your loss, Cindycat. It's so nice that you're wanting to recognize these people for their kindness to your brother.
A hand written note of gratitude to each person or couple who were helpful to your brother is what is most appropriate, in my opinion.
And take as much time as you need for doing this, even several weeks or more. Your thoughtful expression of gratitude and thanksgiving is what they would appreciate hearing. In the case of the staff of the nursing home, you could write one card for all of them, and send to the administrator or head nurse of the unit where he was.
It doesn't matter that you don't know many of these people ~ they knew and were kind to your brother and that's what is important. Phrases such as "I've been told you were so kind...."(etc) and "It was said that you visited my brother... and I'm so grateful.." (etc)" .
You could write a couple of letters to use for reference, sort of model or form letters, and that way you're not having to do the hard work of composing over and over.
It will take some time, but I'd think any person who cared for or visited your brother would appreciate a note of recognition and thanks similar to what I've described.
I don't know about others, but I have kept cards that were written to me. I make copies of letters that mention people by name and give each person a copy to keep.
They often don't go into great detail and that doesn't matter. It's just so nice that someone made the effort to write.
I posted this on another forum and someone suggested this Caregiver forum. One thing I didn't mention in the earlier post - we live 4 1/2 hours away from the little country town where my brother lived.
My older brother died this week. He’d been a widower for four years and in a nursing home for nearly a year. I have a list of almost 50 people who were “there for him” - some since his wife died and many more who visited him and took care of him in the nursing home. I want to do something for them. When his step-daughter said she’d give me a list, I thought I’d give them all a gift card from one of the local stores. Now, with so many people, I’m not sure. Maybe give the nursing home administrator money to buy pizza or something else for the whole staff. We haven’t faced anything like this before, so I’m at a loss about what to do for them all. Can any of you give me some ideas? Thanks so much.
You could send an edible arrangement to the nursing home. A thank you card to everyone else.
Hand written note would be great. Send one TO THEM, AND a note to the admin mentioning all their names. THEY get a thank you they can you for a reference -- and the note to the boss earns them brownie points and a good eval.
I imagine you have at least 2 'set' of people. For those who worked at the nursing home -- that's easy. The pizza you mentioned with a handwritten thank you card for EACH SHIFT. (Personally I'd ask the head shift nurse (or MAYBE the administrator) when is a good time to have pizza delivered during each shift.
1) Personally I'm the hands on -- i you want it done right do-it-yourself type...2) I know what I want people to have and I wouldn't trust the admin to do carryout what I really wanted done. If the shift nurse says admin has to approve all deliveries then you have to let them know what you'd like to do anyway.
Now what about for the friends, neighbors, etc -- you'd like to thank you DON"T work at the nursing home. Again a hand written note -- IF you have their addresses. And for some special ones perhaps a gift basket.
I've used a great company for over a decade to send all my mom's doctors, CPA, lawyer, etc 'thank you-token of appreciation" gift baskets every year for 20-25 dollars each. Best prices I've found ever. PM me if you'd like the name. They're my "go to" for all thank you gifts that I have to send to people.
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