Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Okay how about this suggestion? If you can't have her live with you, and if you can't move in with her? Then can you not find some other relative to move into her house? If not, then you could try to hire some body to stay with her. Or you could just start with home health. Do you have home health in your area? It would cost much less than assisted living and currently it sounds like she does not need full time care.
I was going to say something similar. My mother had Parkinsons with other complications as well. She could not walk unassisted nor could she speak coherently or manage her finger dexterity to take her meds. She also needed help with using the restroom and bathing (but her mind was 100% fine). My father had passed away and my two younger brothers were still in high school, so I moved back into her house to help take care of her. Since I was young as well and needed to work, we eventually hired CNA's to come stay with her round the clock.
We had an extra bed in her bedroom, so whoever was doing the overnight shift slept in there in case she was needed in the middle of the night. I organized all of her meds myself with a system of the daily and hourly pills placed in envelopes that were clearly dated and timed and took responsibility that the dosages were correct and the caregivers clearly understood how my envelope rotation (in a shoe box) worked. The CNA's were really nice and very helpful. They really liked what they were doing and they were continuing their education while gaining experience. They would also get bored sometimes so they would just clean the house!
It was a long time ago, but it wasn't very expensive. We eventually had to put her into a nursing home but she passed away after about 2 yrs. She was only 64.
Give it shot - it's worth a try for now. Maybe she can stay in her own home. Good luck!
Every assisted living facility accepts (and sets aside) some space for Medicaid patients. They also will help her (you) apply for Medicaid once her savings/house profits run out. If she is applying for Medicaid and they have the space, they will not relocate her in the interim while waiting for Medicaid. If the assisted living facility did not explain this to you, then choose another facility. Most of them are very helpful in this regard. Most facilities also have skilled nursing facilities so that elderly clients can transition from assisted living to skilled nursing without moving to a different facility.
Lastly, as a learning moment, when everyone reaches her age, what are your plans and means to effect those plans? Social Security was never intended to be the total retirement solution. I hope everyone is doing some planning.
Actually, some states don't require this. At least that is what I have been told. OP should check with a local social worker to get details.
In some states, when a resident runs out of money, the ALF is required to find a place for him or her, without relocating. What I've seen is that someone in a private room will get moved to a semi private room.
Consult a social worker in your local department of aging for the best info. However, a strategy could be that you move her to an ALF, and then sell her house. The money from the sale could finance more years in the ALF. You probably need to understand what the house is likely to sell for in your market. But a SW who knows the area is a good resource person for you at this point. Most areas have offices of state department of aging services, or some similar title. Your tax monies pay for this service: I encourage you to use it.
Went through a similar scenario with my parents. Thought as they were close to 90 and not in the best of health that an assisted living faculty might be in their best interest, after doing much research it seemed the going price was about $4000 a month or $6000 for 2 persons. when i suggested the idea to Mom and Dad they trashed my idea saying why would they spend all that money on assisted living when the house they are living in is bought and paid for.
They have a woman who comes over 3X a week to do housework and a nurse that drops by 2X a week along with frequent visits from friends and family.
Thank you all so much for the helpful replies. I'm going to print this all out and go over it in detail with my husband. This process is so overwhelming, but I feel much more positive and calm now that I am armed with information and advice. I really appreciate it.
Every assisted living we have talked to, and we have talked to at least 20, has said the only Medicaid they offer/accept is a state Medicaid waiver, which in their experience, would be no more than $500/month. One did tell us they would try to keep her there on the Medicaid waiver and her SS income, but they would expect us to make up the difference, which they estimated would run about $1800/month--they would offer a slight discount in the monthly fee. I don't want to do that for an indefinite time period that could potentially last 5+ years, and my husband and I are the only family she has who can pay at all. All other facilities have clearly said, and I'm not misunderstanding, that she will have to leave or we will have to pay for it on top of this Medicaid waiver. Moving to the skilled area of the same campus is a possibility at a few we spoke with, but they have waiting lists, which we have put her on, and no hope for her to get in in the near future.
I am well aware that SS is not meant to cover all retirement living expenses. We don't know what happened to her savings; my father-in-law made a nice living but there is nothing left.
My husband and I are covered for our own retirement, but that plan doesn't include paying for her retirement as well, unfortunately. Maybe it should, but I'm not willing to spend that kind of money when I have my own future to consider.
These places may say they offer Medicaid, but a $500 waiver out of $4000 just doesn't help in her situation.
Have you checked the laws and rules in the states nearby to you? They may offer better help.
if she has a house that is OK if she gets medicaid also for the most part if you are private pay first you have a better chance for a good nursing home. assisted living I would say no to since as you said no money out. Selling the house then you need to rid the house of stuff etc. You also get if you sell the home use money to prepay funerals etc. .
There are some really good nursing homes who have well patients on different floors and treat them well. One poster did say to speak with an elder attorney for advise which may be step one. I also am not sure saving the house is a good idea since there is a 5 year look back and medicaid would do a lein. If you could rent it out that may be a good option also to get money.
Last edited by maggiekate; 03-28-2015 at 07:44 PM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
