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Old 07-25-2015, 08:33 PM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
5,165 posts, read 8,689,130 times
Reputation: 6166

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My FIL is almost 93.

There's lot of threads about his behavior; very independent man; will just escape; run off. Likes his freedom.

He was alone in the evenings but was not driving in the dark. He had a couple of fender benders and we wanted to get that car away in the worst way.

Funny how things happen.

We got a call about a week ago at 5 AM. They found him in the car, about 40 minutes away, and had him transported to a hospital. He didn't know his name, where he was or how to get home.

Does it happen this fast? The car was taken and a doctor has filled out the form that goes to the DMV. (Finally).

We now have arranged for 24 hour care; have about 3 caregivers there. He will never be alone again.

My husband is just stunned at the decline from last Saturday night until today (1 week). I'm glad he saw it.

Is it wise to keep him in his home? Maybe he's overmedicated from the hospital stay?
He can still go to the bathroom; seems to have lost interest in shaving though. I guess that's another sign.

My husband had POA all along since 2013. He does have a Living Will also. He is usually resistant to change but was not at all tonight. My husband is just shocked at this passive behavior.
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Old 07-26-2015, 01:25 AM
 
6,875 posts, read 7,273,507 times
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Your thread title asks “Do you think you can have 24 hour care until the end at home?”

As for that question, I’d say yes – IF:
-- IF the family can afford it
-- IF the family can find aides to deal with whatever behavior the elder exhibits

Depending on those behaviors it can be VERY difficult, but I’d still say it COULD be done….but each case is individual.
-- How violent is the person? – a 90 year-old man in anger could still overpower a woman of slight build.
-- How often and how much does he person wander?
-- How mobile are they in general?

There is a thread about Glen Campbell and some of us discussed his wife putting him in a facility.
IF they – with all their money feel it’s best for him in a facility, then that doesn’t exactly bode well for others with no where near those means to keep their loved on at home.

But again, I’d say it CAN be done, even if with a LOT of accommodations.
As for how quickly your FIL went downhill….was it really all that quick. You’ve been posting about him for a while now, and said you wanted to take the car away before now.

Is it wise to keep him in his home? Maybe yes, maybe know. It depends.
Maybe he's overmedicated from the hospital stay? Could be…you’d know better than we would.
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Old 07-26-2015, 06:13 AM
 
396 posts, read 368,439 times
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If his meds were adjusted or changed during his hospital stay, it's very possible this incident is related. Older people tend to be more sensitive to meds in general and any additions/subtractions/adjustments can cause problems. This is something you need to check out with his physician.

24 hour care in the home is possible, but as the other poster said, it will depend on whether or not it's financially feasible coupled with the person's medical issues and personality. Towards the end of my mother's life, she lived with me but I still had to work. Her secondary insurance completely covered the cost of 24 hour in home care from a CNA with bi-weekly visits from an RN, even though we really only needed someone to be there when either I or my husband weren't at home (in other words, the 24 hour option was never used). But many insurance policies won't go that far. And her condition was manageable medically...no wandering issues or dementia and she wasn't resistant to a stranger being with her.

Whether or not staying at home would be the right choice for your FIL is not something that can be predicted. You'll really just have to play it by ear for now.
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Old 07-26-2015, 06:27 AM
 
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My best friend developed dementia when terminally, and he had wanted to die at home. Though he had been a very outgoing and temperamental person, in dementia he became simple-minded and sweet-tempered. I had POA, medical power of attorney, etc. Myself and two other friends took turns being there, and I hired three home health aides and a visiting nurse came once a day the last two weeks. So, he did die at home, but it was quite clear that this was going to be a matter of a few months - three as it turned out.
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Old 07-26-2015, 12:06 PM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
5,165 posts, read 8,689,130 times
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Smile Resistant until last night

My husband was rather shocked as how passive he was and he did everything he was told and agreed to everything.

We are playing it by ear, day by day. He will not be alone.

At lease, he will not be driving and a danger to others in that way. That was my biggest concern.
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Old 07-26-2015, 12:39 PM
 
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If he declined dramatically in a week, is it possible he suffered a stroke? Has he been tested for UTIs?
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Old 07-26-2015, 01:48 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
17,018 posts, read 17,335,191 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by forum_browser View Post
If he declined dramatically in a week, is it possible he suffered a stroke? Has he been tested for UTIs?
Other infections, besides UTI, can also cause dementia like symptoms in the elderly. Be sure that everything is check out medically.
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Old 07-26-2015, 04:59 PM
 
8,011 posts, read 7,295,370 times
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The incident probably reduced his resistance to giving up some of his independence.

The more you discuss it with him, you'll probably realize he is self-aware of his condition but may not know how to handle it without help.

It could have been low blood sugar. The confusion can come on quite suddenly and can be life-threatening if a companion doesn't act on the signs. They probably gave him IV fluids at the hospital. I've had several occasions on the road where I had to take my mom aside to feed her and one occasion where the EMS had to be called.
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Old 07-26-2015, 05:36 PM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
5,165 posts, read 8,689,130 times
Reputation: 6166
Smile Answers

Yes, he was tested for everything and did have a UTI but that cleared up really fast. He was in the hospital for 6 days and I think they ran every test they could think of. They tracked his blood work also and kept him 2 extra days because they wanted more blood tests but apparently, those came out OK.

A cardiologist came in and checked him out also. He just seems different; hard to put my finger on it.

He was really happy to see his son - and I think my husband was happy with that reaction too. It's been an emotional few days so we'll take it day by day.

The interesting thing is that he has not even asked about the car and that was my husband's biggest worry. Even when he was admitted - it was "Where's my car? Where's my car?"

You've given me some things to watch for and ask about. The caregivers have been keeping a daily log and it is helpful (my idea). These caregivers are all private pay but I want to check with the VA (he is a Veteran) on their program (Aid/Attendant).

This is one thing that threw my husband off - he got him home last night and was going to spend a couple of hours going over things, what he wanted, etc. Just some quiet, alone time. When they walked in the door, my husband asked if he wanted to watch TV (like he normally does) and he looked blank and said "where do you want me to sit?"
(He always sits in the same place).
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Old 07-26-2015, 05:48 PM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
5,165 posts, read 8,689,130 times
Reputation: 6166
Smile Answers

Yes, he was tested for everything and did have a UTI but that cleared up really fast. He was in the hospital for 6 days and I think they ran every test they could think of. They tracked his blood work also and kept him 2 extra days because they wanted more blood tests but apparently, those came out OK.

A cardiologist came in and checked him out also. He just seems different; hard to put my finger on it.

He was really happy to see his son - and I think my husband was happy with that reaction too. It's been an emotional few days so we'll take it day by day.

The interesting thing is that he has not even asked about the car and that was my husband's biggest worry. Even when he was admitted - it was "Where's my car? Where's my car?"

You've given me some things to watch for and ask about. The caregivers have been keeping a daily log and it is helpful (my idea). These caregivers are all private pay but I want to check with the VA (he is a Veteran) on their program (Aid/Attendant).
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