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This thread, like so many others on CD is surely showing its American colors.
In most countries in the world, people don't 'plan' for their old age, primarily because living day to day is all they can manage - at best - and for most, life is always a struggle financially. Most people don't have savings, period, let alone retirement plans.
It is generally assumed in these countries, and I include most of Europe in this, that parents who live to reach old age will move in with one of their children.
The same holds true for married couples starting out. It is not at all unusual for them to occupy a bedroom in either the wife's or the husband's parent's home for several years, and in many cases, they never move out.
I have relatives in Canada who chose (and continue to choose) this route, and it's working out well for all concerned. More money is coming in to the household, and the children (of the kids who stayed in the family home) have their grandparents on site. Their house is a nice place to visit, a breath of fresh air in a society that is showing progressively less interest in anything but 'self.'
Where is the love in this discussion?
Mahrie.
Dementia and Alzheimer's are game changers. I doubt very seriously that many adult children in ANY countries are changing their parents' diapers and lifting them in and out of the bed or a wheelchair numerous times a day. Or installing strange locks on all their doors so their parents don't wander off in the middle of the night.
I understand perfectly what's being said here, but it seems to me that many are confusing low-income families with families who sit around on welfare and do nothing to contribute to society. There are many reasons why people do not earn a lot of money, and laziness isn't anywhere near the top of that list.
No, Canadians do not have universal medical care. Canadians pay varying amounts, according to their income level, to the Provincial Government to cover whatever health care they may need -- even if they don't need any. Prescriptions, eye care, and dentistry etc., are not included in what the .gov will pay for. Healthcare premiums in Canada are expensive and mandatory. One cannot choose to opt out of the program.
AND healthcare in Canada is lousy, by the way. One may wait a year for an 'urgent' appointment with a specialist. The last appointment I made with my family doctor was nine weeks prior to going -- that was their earliest available opening. I ended up in the ER several days after making the appointment.
Hope this helps,
Mahre.
Even when I was a teenager I knew I didn't want to be poor so I had to go to college to get a higher paying job. I also had the common sense not to get pregnant or get married before I could support myself. Sure I made mistakes but they were "my fault", I didn't blame others, I learned from them and changed course. I also learned to live within my ability to pay. Many people don't think like that, and when it comes time to live with the results of "their decisions" they blame others and want others to pay.
Mental laziness, lack of planning, lack of effort. I am, therefore I deserve. It is these people that fit under the income limits for continued help. Maybe Mahre, I'm fed-up with a system that panders to people who don't use common sense. Many of us used our brains only to find out we end up paying for other people's lack of planning and effort.
No, Canadians do not have universal medical care. Canadians pay varying amounts, according to their income level, to the Provincial Government to cover whatever health care they may need -- even if they don't need any. Prescriptions, eye care, and dentistry etc., are not included in what the .gov will pay for. Healthcare premiums in Canada are expensive and mandatory. One cannot choose to opt out of the program.
AND healthcare in Canada is lousy, by the way. One may wait a year for an 'urgent' appointment with a specialist. The last appointment I made with my family doctor was nine weeks prior to going -- that was their earliest available opening. I ended up in the ER several days after making the appointment.
Mahre.
Wow, we are being told by U.S. media that Canadian system of healthcare is a perfect system and many people here in the U.S. wants the Canadian system.
Even when I was a teenager I knew I didn't want to be poor so I had to go to college to get a higher paying job. I also had the common sense not to get pregnant or get married before I could support myself. Sure I made mistakes but they were "my fault" and I learned from them and learned to live within my ability to pay. Many people don't think like that, and when it comes time to live with the results of "their decisions" they blame others and want others to pay.
Mental laziness, lack of planning, lack of effort. I am so therefore I deserve. It is these people that fit under the income limits for continued help. Maybe Mahre, I'm fed-up with a system that panders to people who don't use common sense. Many of us used our brains only to find out we end up paying for someone else's lack of common sense.
It's so easy to blame everyone else for our problems. What mistakes did your Mother make?
This is a question you should also be asking so that your children do not end up in the same boat.
Long term care plans are out there now - but the younger you buy them, the cheaper they are.
I currently have savings that I won't touch - becuase that is going to be my 'assisted living' or nursing home money should I need it. I don't ever want my son to be in a position where he is taking care of me.
Most of us on this forum - having spent a considerable amount of time around very elderly or dying parents - have learned a great deal about what to do and what not to do.
Bottom line, any extended illness is going to wipe out everything I have and then the state would have to step in once it's exhausted. I know of no way around it. This is the system we have that 'takes care of our elderly'.
It is generally assumed in these countries, and I include most of Europe in this, that parents who live to reach old age will move in with one of their children.
The same holds true for married couples starting out. It is not at all unusual for them to occupy a bedroom in either the wife's or the husband's parent's home for several years, and in many cases, they never move out.
I have relatives in Canada who chose (and continue to choose) this route, and it's working out well for all concerned. More money is coming in to the household, and the children (of the kids who stayed in the family home) have their grandparents on site. Their house is a nice place to visit, a breath of fresh air in a society that is showing progressively less interest in anything but 'self.'
Where is the love in this discussion?
Mahrie.
I regularly talk to a cousin who grew up in Europe (under Communism) who I met for the first time a couple years back. She moved to Canada and has been able to travel all over the world. She is not married, no children because she said, she didn't want to get trapped, she wanted to be free to do things she wanted to do.
Not everyone is cut out for that Mahrie, and you have no right to judge them.
Your post reminds me of my grandmother, never worked outside the home a day in her life, had a good life, traveled, had it good. I would stop after work to see her and one time she said.. "what do you do with all your time?". In the old days woman stayed home, today it takes two incomes.
It's so easy to blame everyone else for our problems. What mistakes did your Mother make?
This is a question you should also be asking so that your children do not end up in the same boat.
Long term care plans are out there now - but the younger you buy them, the cheaper they are.
I currently have savings that I won't touch - becuase that is going to be my 'assisted living' or nursing home money should I need it. I don't ever want my son to be in a position where he is taking care of me.
Most of us on this forum - having spent a considerable amount of time around very elderly or dying parents - have learned a great deal about what to do and what not to do.
Bottom line, any extended illness is going to wipe out everything I have and then the state would have to step in once it's exhausted. I know of no way around it. This is the system we have that 'takes care of our elderly'.
My mothers mistake, many people's mistake is not planning and doing what is needed to take care of their elderly needs. The result is that it forces other people to pay for their bad decisions, be it their kids or the tax payer.
We are told "take care of the poor", and if you become poor "there is a safety net" but since we as middle class take care of ourselves it is too late when we find out that there is no safety net for us, you've worked long enough to build your SS so you won't fit within the income limit to get help and then the kids are forced to pay.
Many people think that mediCARE will take care of their medical needs when many times it may but other times it doesn't. Many people assume their kids will be able to take care of them, they don't consider the financial strain, the physical strain it puts on them. Taking care of parents can and will wipe out the kids out leaving nothing to take care of themselves.
I currently have savings that I won't touch - becuase that is going to be my 'assisted living' or nursing home money should I need it. I don't ever want my son to be in a position where he is taking care of me.
Exactly I too have money set aside to take care of our elderly years but it's going to take more. If instead of building my safety net I'm paying thousands a month to help take care of my mother, what happens when it's my time. I may not have enough.
Of course people who fit below the income limit won't have to worry about such things.
Sadly, that's why if you can't build up a huge safety net yourself, and can't afford insurance you need to understand medicare and medicaid.
The cheapest thing to do is to start living a healthier lifestyle. Too many Americans live on borrowed time through medical advances they are just surviving and one stroke or illness away. Lifestyle choices are the cause of health problems. Health will become the #1 reason that people file bankruptcy when they get older because they can't afford their medical expenses. If you have are overweight consider slowly losing the weight before impacts your overall health which can lead to many heart diseases.
Exactly I too have money set aside to take care of our elderly years but it's going to take more. If instead of building my safety net I'm paying thousands a month to help take care of my mother, what happens when it's my time. I may not have enough.
Of course people who fit below the income limit won't have to worry about such things.
Sadly, that's why if you can't build up a huge safety net yourself, and can't afford insurance you need to understand medicare and medicaid.
Well, I do get what you are saying, I guess we just differ in who we blame. I blame the system, and the fleecing of the middle class by both the wealthy and the poor - not JUST the poor.
It's NOT right that we should save all our lives to leave a little something for our kids - only to have to spending all on nursing care should we get ill. I get it. I agree.
I saw it with my father; the greatest generation were largely savers for a rainy day. We were lucky that his illness and death were very, very brief. Had he required a 'memory care' unit at the local nursinghome, he would have blown through that in a couple of years.
Another thing I learned is that - those assisted living plans don't just cover you because you are 'too old' to live alone and just can't cook or whatever. A doctor has to certify several things before that plan kicks in.
Really, I wanted him to go to assisted living because I thought his quality of life would improve. I know he was lonely living with us becasue I was busy with work and all the sports activities of a teen-age son. So we looked at several assisted living situations (which is when I learned that, hell yes, I want to live there when I'm old) but he was worried he didn't have enough money.
We finally found just the right person to come three or four times a week (mainly just to DRIVE him places) and they enjoyed each others company and my Dad got to go out to lunch, shopping, whatever. This was not cheap, though, and I know my Dad spent a lot of money. I was LUCKY that he had it to spend because it was worth every dime, inheritance or no.
He also saved money by living with me so he had that money to spend on his person from Home Instead - so it was a win/win for all.
Had my Dad had a serious illness or needed round the clock care - I don't know that I could have managed it even with home health because I was working full time.
It was truly an eye-opening experience and I feel quite passionately about it - as I witness friends' my age dealing with the same thing as their parents' age and fall ill. You don't know until it's your family and then you know.
I'v upped my savings AND my life insurance in hopes not to be a burden to my son.
A Miller's Trust is a type of Qualified Income Trust. Medicaid rules vary a LOT from state to state. Putting a house in an irrevocable trust with a parent as Life Tenant used to protect the asset. Not so anymore. NY has passed legislation allowing Medicaid to go after trusts. Old Filial Responsibility laws in PA have been resurrected to go after children. Some states only go after the assets that pass through probate. Others, like NY and PA go after everything.
You're mixing up using an income trust to qualify for Medicaid with using an irrevocable trust to protect assets from Medicaid's estate recovery program. They're not the same. Some states have passed laws opening up to allowing the use of income trusts to become eligible for Medicaid.
The priority here should be to get your mom the care she needs. Not getting your inheritance is something that may be unpreventable at this late stage.
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