U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Caregiving
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 09-25-2015, 12:06 PM
 
Location: sumter
8,489 posts, read 5,314,822 times
Reputation: 6562

Advertisements

A strong support system will also go a long ways also. If you have siblings in the area, have them share the responsibilities, or other family members of your mother. They can sit with her at times to allow you to have some free time. Once you get all of her business worked out, she will be able to have home health aide for 3 to 4 hours a day. You can also use private sitters, I used to pay this lady 12 bucks an hour to sit with my mother if I need additional time for something beyond what home health aide could do. Being a member of a gym really helped me out with the stress, and having someone to talk to. If your mother don't have dementia, consider that a big plus. A good case worker would be a big help for you as well, they can walk you through the entire process step by step. My mother was a assigned a case worker through the department of social services as we call it here, the hospital and local nursing home can also connect you with a case worker. They will guide and direct you through all the paper work, tell you everything you need to know and do and what services that she qualifies for.

Last edited by ipaper; 09-25-2015 at 12:24 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 09-25-2015, 12:07 PM
 
7,899 posts, read 7,236,434 times
Reputation: 6251
Quote:
Originally Posted by petch751 View Post
Wow! do you have a comprehension problem? The house is already going to recovery. What is wrong with you?
It doesn't go to cost recovery until she's deceased. That's what's implied by stating that it will be subject to the cost recovery feature of Medicaid.

If Medicaid has her placed in a nursing home now or in the near future, you could rent out the home in the meantime and use it to defray some of the bills. That will however count as income so your situation with a Medicaid QIT, if you have one, will probably require that it go directly to Medicaid.

I would also advise you go see a psychiatrist also. You seem to keep going round and round on the same things. You're obviously in way over your home, I mean head. It would be best for your mom to have someone who spends less time ranting and more time actually dealing with the problem and with caregiving.

Last edited by lchoro; 09-25-2015 at 01:09 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-25-2015, 12:21 PM
 
39,109 posts, read 20,243,833 times
Reputation: 12659
Quote:
Originally Posted by lchoro View Post
It doesn't go to cost recovery until she's deceased. That's what's implied by stating that it will be subject to the cost recovery feature of Medicaid.

If Medicaid has her placed in a home now or in the near future, you could rent out the home in the meantime and use it to defray some of the bills. That will however count as income so your situation with a Medicaid QIT, if you have one, will probably require that it go directly to Medicaid.

I would also advise you go see a psychiatrist also. You seem to keep going round and round on the same things. You're obviously in way over your home, I mean head. It would be best for your mom to have someone who spends less time ranting and more time actually dealing with the problem and with caregiving.
First it is not my house to rent out. Second if I rented it out for her that would increase her income which would disqualify her for medicaid.

Your right about that. I never asked for this. I thought she would have all her ducks in a row. Only the assumption that medicare would take care of all her medical needs like many other middle class people who under the same false assumption. When it happens it's the kids that get left holding the bag.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-25-2015, 12:27 PM
 
15,254 posts, read 16,764,332 times
Reputation: 25411
Quote:
Originally Posted by luv my dayton View Post
How you manage to have all these problems when thousands of people have this same situation going on but have made it through. No one has a clue what your talking about when your speaking of your mothers home. Whats going on with it? If she still has one it will have to be sold if she becomes a permanent fixture in the facility. Same thing happened to our family. Mom couldnt be rehabed,we chose to leave her in there. Medicare paid her bill until we could sell her home. Once home sold we had to pay out of money the amount medicare paid towards the bill at nursing home for the additional months. Medicaid does the same thing. Once all that is completed she then will have nothing and medicaid takes over. No one makes a profit from any of this. Your mothers SS check then goes towards the bill at care facility and she is allowed 35-40 per month for her personal use. She is not allowed to have any savings over 1500 and can tell you if she earns interest it needs to be removed. They are real specific on this. You need to get it together as this doesnt exactly get easier. The last thing you need is to be the patient and your mother your caregiver! This was just advice from one whos been there
This is a very good summation. I'll add that if the mom goes into a nursing home but someone is still living in the house, I believe the person can stay there indefinitely but a lien is placed on the house. I could be wrong.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-25-2015, 12:27 PM
 
39,109 posts, read 20,243,833 times
Reputation: 12659
Anyway I just received a phone call from the aging department. Her case was passed to another case worker and she looked over the case file. The case worker said she qualifies for nursing home transition and should not have been denied and she is now looking into it. And yes, we've been honest about everything and they have all the records. After she was denied we took her home just last week. BUT if she is not in a nursing home she is automatically disqualified. !

Last edited by petch751; 09-25-2015 at 12:43 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-25-2015, 12:53 PM
 
6,229 posts, read 3,519,393 times
Reputation: 21685
Everyone with elderly parents should really take the time to learn all about these things before they're in the midst of them. I'm another one who got caught up in trying to figure it all out for my folks and am well aware of how confusing it can be. Especially by the time your loved ones are ailing and you have that concern as well.

I thought my parents had made good plans, too. But they also didn't know what's available and not available. And then the rules keep changing all the time anyway.

I learned to find a caseworker (in my case a social worker) who could steer me through it all. It's worth it for your own mental health to play nice with your caseworkers. The more cooperative you are the more help you will get. Humans are like that!

I had a little different situation but equally as frustrating. My mother always insisted on paying her own way so for ten years she paid nearly $4,000 a month to receive the same services nearly everyone else in her nursing home got free through the government.

As a sole beneficiary that was hard for me to watch but at least she left this world knowing that she'd maintained her financial independence to the end.

It helps not to focus on what's going on with other people and stay focused on you and your goals. Comparisons only add frustration.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-25-2015, 01:29 PM
 
20,285 posts, read 16,458,540 times
Reputation: 38078
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lodestar View Post
Everyone with elderly parents should really take the time to learn all about these things before they're in the midst of them. I'm another one who got caught up in trying to figure it all out for my folks and am well aware of how confusing it can be. Especially by the time your loved ones are ailing and you have that concern as well.

I thought my parents had made good plans, too. But they also didn't know what's available and not available. And then the rules keep changing all the time anyway.

I learned to find a caseworker (in my case a social worker) who could steer me through it all. It's worth it for your own mental health to play nice with your caseworkers. The more cooperative you are the more help you will get. Humans are like that!

I had a little different situation but equally as frustrating. My mother always insisted on paying her own way so for ten years she paid nearly $4,000 a month to receive the same services nearly everyone else in her nursing home got free through the government.

As a sole beneficiary that was hard for me to watch but at least she left this world knowing that she'd maintained her financial independence to the end.

It helps not to focus on what's going on with other people and stay focused on you and your goals. Comparisons only add frustration.
Nursing home care is only paid for by the government AFTER the patient's personal funds are depleted. No one gets their long term stay paid for by the government (Medicaid) if they have money of their own. Only short-term rehab stays are covered by Medicare. Your mom had no options but to spend down.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-25-2015, 01:32 PM
 
Location: The Jar
20,070 posts, read 14,366,425 times
Reputation: 36805
“Life isn’t fair. It doesn’t make sense. This unfairness is felt by everyone, from the Las Vegas tunnel dweller all the way to the executive in the high-rise. To some, these “unfair” experiences become a chastening ball and chain attached for the remainder of life.”
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-25-2015, 01:58 PM
 
Location: St. Louis, Missouri
9,352 posts, read 16,766,093 times
Reputation: 11458
Quote:
Originally Posted by petch751 View Post
For anyone who looks at your kids as their elderly care plan DON'T DO THAT TO YOUR KIDS.

My mother is now home but of course we can not get help, her being middle class turned poor and all, help is for lifetime dead beats. We were taught to pay our way in life, if we borrow we pay as agreed. I've never had a debt collector call me ever! and have excellent credit. The same for my mom, our family, we are not dead beats.

Unfortunately she has a rehab / nursing home bill she can not even afford to pay. Her hospital bed isn't even cold from her leaving yet and they're already calling me.

Once things settle I'll see if I can pull a little money out of her butt, tell her she is not allowed to eat, I don't know but what I do know is it's not my bill and I do not want harassed. Naturally I am going to try to see what she can do but if she can't or they won't accept what she can pay how do I stop phone calls to me.

I WANT OUT! tomorrow I have to call medicare, medicaid, her insurance to see if she signs up with medicare part D if she loses her secondary policy (that's what they said), if not call to find out about getting her signed up with medicaid part D, go through all the plans and select the plan that is best for her.

I WANT MY FRICKEN LIFE BACK!
to get them to stop calling you for bill collection, you just tell them to stop calling you about a bill that YOU do not owe.....

Quote:
Originally Posted by petch751 View Post
LOL, social worker? Those people could care less, clock watchers. They look at you like old people do. Quit your job, forget your life, you exist to take care of your mother.

Slow down? Yea I'd like to do just that. Can someone send me a paycheck?
Oddly enough, the social workers I dealt with were VERY helpful for the most part..... the one thing they really couldn't help me with was getting the state of South Carolina to locate my mother's birth certificate.... but that's another story for another thread.....

Quote:
Originally Posted by luv my dayton View Post
How you manage to have all these problems when thousands of people have this same situation going on but have made it through. No one has a clue what your talking about when your speaking of your mothers home. Whats going on with it? If she still has one it will have to be sold if she becomes a permanent fixture in the facility. Same thing happened to our family. Mom couldnt be rehabed,we chose to leave her in there. Medicare paid her bill until we could sell her home. Once home sold we had to pay out of money the amount medicare paid towards the bill at nursing home for the additional months. Medicaid does the same thing. Once all that is completed she then will have nothing and medicaid takes over. No one makes a profit from any of this. Your mothers SS check then goes towards the bill at care facility and she is allowed 35-40 per month for her personal use. She is not allowed to have any savings over 1500 and can tell you if she earns interest it needs to be removed. They are real specific on this. You need to get it together as this doesnt exactly get easier. The last thing you need is to be the patient and your mother your caregiver! This was just advice from one whos been there
^^^ this!!

btw.... medicaid is for ALL poor people.... those who have been poor their entire lives or those who have spent all of their money on medical expenses and long term care and now need help.... There are, of course, income limits, though....


Quote:
Originally Posted by Lodestar View Post
Everyone with elderly parents should really take the time to learn all about these things before they're in the midst of them. I'm another one who got caught up in trying to figure it all out for my folks and am well aware of how confusing it can be. Especially by the time your loved ones are ailing and you have that concern as well.

I thought my parents had made good plans, too. But they also didn't know what's available and not available. And then the rules keep changing all the time anyway.

I learned to find a caseworker (in my case a social worker) who could steer me through it all. It's worth it for your own mental health to play nice with your caseworkers. The more cooperative you are the more help you will get. Humans are like that!

I had a little different situation but equally as frustrating. My mother always insisted on paying her own way so for ten years she paid nearly $4,000 a month to receive the same services nearly everyone else in her nursing home got free through the government.

As a sole beneficiary that was hard for me to watch but at least she left this world knowing that she'd maintained her financial independence to the end.

It helps not to focus on what's going on with other people and stay focused on you and your goals. Comparisons only add frustration.
don't you mean the tax payers?? if she had cash and assets, she SHOULD have paid her own way up to the point that those cash and assets were depleted..... THEN, she turns to the tax payers for help.....

There was no way that I was going to try to hide assets or pull any number of other tricks that people use to shelter their money from being used for their own care.... did my brother and I inherit anything after all was said and done?? nope, not really.... but that's ok....
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-25-2015, 02:58 PM
 
Location: Central Florida
2,063 posts, read 1,854,565 times
Reputation: 1917
Quote:
Originally Posted by petch751 View Post
For anyone who looks at your kids as their elderly care plan DON'T DO THAT TO YOUR KIDS.

My mother is now home but of course we can not get help, her being middle class turned poor and all, help is for lifetime dead beats. We were taught to pay our way in life, if we borrow we pay as agreed. I've never had a debt collector call me ever! and have excellent credit. The same for my mom, our family, we are not dead beats.

Unfortunately she has a rehab / nursing home bill she can not even afford to pay. Her hospital bed isn't even cold from her leaving yet and they're already calling me.

Once things settle I'll see if I can pull a little money out of her butt, tell her she is not allowed to eat, I don't know but what I do know is it's not my bill and I do not want harassed. Naturally I am going to try to see what she can do but if she can't or they won't accept what she can pay how do I stop phone calls to me.

I WANT OUT! tomorrow I have to call medicare, medicaid, her insurance to see if she signs up with medicare part D if she loses her secondary policy (that's what they said), if not call to find out about getting her signed up with medicaid part D, go through all the plans and select the plan that is best for her.

I WANT MY FRICKEN LIFE BACK!
If it is not your bill tell them to go blow they cannot bother you it is not your bill. Change your phone number and hers to get rid of them if you have to, and maybe contact the hospital to see if there is some advice they can give you on how to get them to forgive most of the bill, write the bill off on their taxes if she is poor enough, they do that . Also who is it that is calling you a collection agency or the nursing home? Do not talk to collection agencies go to the original source of the bill and you contact them (maybe in a different phone) when you are ready to discuss it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Caregiving
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 11:08 AM.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. | Please obey Forum Rules | Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top