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Old 11-01-2015, 07:32 AM
 
37,900 posts, read 14,764,101 times
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Mama needs to move on with her life not suck the marrow out of yours.

The sooner that happens, the better.
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Old 11-01-2015, 09:28 AM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
7,415 posts, read 4,562,334 times
Reputation: 27134
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon View Post
I'm telling you, OP, once she has that knee surgery, it's going to be one reason and then another reason and then another reason as to WHY she can't move out of your house, let alone do anything in the way of being independent in your house.
That was my thought as well.

My 85 year old mother had knee surgery five years ago. She's still milking it for all it's worth. That's what narcissists do.

And -- I'm not piling on, I swear -- I would never let her move in with me. She's got to have her narcissistic supply and would think nothing of draining the life out of me to get it.

Several weeks ago I was having an email conversation with my MIL, who I adore, about Christmas and how it seemed to her like too much trouble. I agreed, except that if we ignored Christmas that would mean I wouldn't get to see her.

My MIL has an innocent habit of forwarding all my emails to my mother. This time my casual remark set off a firestorm of histrionic behavior.

My mother isn't hurt, she doesn't give a crap about me and never has. I've known that since I was four years old.

I say all this just to remind you you have a lot of support here. We've got your back.
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Old 11-01-2015, 09:41 AM
 
Location: somewhere
4,264 posts, read 8,139,589 times
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Thanks for all the support and advice, it is very appreciated. You get to feeling like you are the only one going through this and it is nice to see that others know what I am talking about.
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Old 11-01-2015, 06:22 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
21,598 posts, read 14,200,956 times
Reputation: 30230
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon View Post
I'm telling you, OP, once she has that knee surgery, it's going to be one reason and then another reason and then another reason as to WHY she can't move out of your house, let alone do anything in the way of being independent in your house. I agree that BEFORE the knee surgery, you need to make it clear to her that she is going to be moving back home within a few weeks. Get your brother on board - tell him that you expect him to help his mom when she moves back home.

If you don't get her out of your house shortly, she's never going to leave and she'll come up with more and more reasons to argue her need to stay. And your family will be impacted in a very intrusive way for possibly decades.
I think KA is right. Your mom needs a push.
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Old 11-02-2015, 05:21 AM
 
37,900 posts, read 14,764,101 times
Reputation: 24225
There's a reason people end up old and alone.
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