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I realize that you have judged those of us who are trying to make sense of your situation as judgmental and full of ourselves.
But back to the question. If someone other than you had posted that they had given up their jobs and were being supported by his dyingmother, etc., what would your opinion be?
His dying mother is BEING Supported by Him. He is caring for her, hence the DYING.
This has got to be the most bizarre post I've ever read.
I realize that you have judged those of us who are trying to make sense of your situation as judgmental and full of ourselves.
But back to the question. If someone other than you had posted that they had given up their jobs and were being supported by his dying mother, etc., what would your opinion be?
I have not, nor am I going to follow all these details. However, this judgment sounds very harsh. I am someone with many health issues. If I were to ever require this sort of help, universe forbid, it would be a full time job. Why wouldn't my son, if he were so willing, quit his job to do so & use what resources I have to make a go of it? Caring for those with disabilities or who are terminal can be a full time job. I don't find this unreasonable at all. And, not at all deserving of judgment. Perhaps the OP simply is not great with words & is not a very clear communicator, in writing? Who knows. I'd be impressed with my son being willing to dedicate himself to my care. I'd be sad. But, I'd be impressed with him as a human being. Figuring out how to liquidize my assets doesn't seem unreasonable either. I'd also be impressed with the pre-planning - presuming he isn't trying to kill me or want me to die before my time.
Regardless of the OP's insistence that people not make judgements, people are going to assess the situation based on the available information. Some will be impressed. Others not so much.
No, we are THINKING of what to do with the house when she does pass. There is A LOT to go though ALL of us my mom included to have several yard sales to help clear out the stuff she has collected over the years. She knows that at some point we want to sell the house & move to the mountains some where.
Sheeze, your mom has terminal cancer and probably only a few months to live and you expect her to start going through her stuff and having garage sales to make things easier for you to sell her house the minute she dies?
Sheeze, your mom has terminal cancer and probably only a few months to live and you expect her to start going through her stuff and having garage sales to make things easier for you to sell her house the minute she dies?
I have no words. And that in itself is amazing.
This is where that SOME of you are not reading everything. Moms idea to do yard sales her stuff can get donated to whatever she wants it to go to. I don't expect you to understand some will & some won't. For you it sounds like you rather grieve & then once it passes deal with it. That's fine to each their own. I really don't care if you understand or not. Different stokes & all. Keep on with the judgment I expect no less from some of you....
No, we are THINKING of what to do with the house when she does pass. There is A LOT to go though ALL of us my mom included to have several yard sales to help clear out the stuff she has collected over the years. She knows that at some point we want to sell the house & move to the mountains some where.
It's not a good idea to get rid of her things while she's alive. They provide a familiar and comforting environment for her during a time when she might be experiencing emotional distress and delirium. I often use the momentos, photographs, and books my mom has around the house to help advance conversation and bring her out.
It's not a good idea to get rid of her things while she's alive. They provide a familiar and comforting environment for her during a time when she might be experiencing emotional distress and delirium. I often use the momentos, photographs, and books my mom has around the house to help advance conversation and bring her out.
It sounds like she wants to get rid of things herself. My mom recently died. When she was sick, it made her feel a lot better to give things away and put things in order. It gave her comfort to feel that the family would have less to deal with after she passed. It was her idea to do these things.
It's not a good idea to get rid of her things while she's alive. They provide a familiar and comforting environment for her during a time when she might be experiencing emotional distress and delirium. I often use the momentos, photographs, and books my mom has around the house to help advance conversation and bring her out.
It's mostly clothes at this point. My cousins came from Tn this weekend & she gave them some things that my one cousin wanted. She's still has pictures of family & things like that. She has been wanting to go though her storage shed for some time now. No one has ever been here to help her go though it.
This is where that SOME of you are not reading everything. Moms idea to do yard sales her stuff can get donated to whatever she wants it to go to. I don't expect you to understand some will & some won't. For you it sounds like you rather grieve & then once it passes deal with it. That's fine to each their own. I really don't care if you understand or not. Different stokes & all. Keep on with the judgment I expect no less from some of you....
We are doing this with my 92 year old FIL right now. He is calling asking us to help him designate where the fruits of his hard work will go. My MIL was the same way (his wife) and so was his brother (to a really obsessive extent) I did hospice with. Totally normal. I don't care for it but you do what they want you to do. The hardest is when they keep wanting to give it all to you and you want none of it nor have a place to store it. I am on my third dying elderly family member Maybe many many here haven't had as much experience doing end of life care.
From the way the OP described his mother, she really isn't the type you can boss around whatsoever anyhow.
This thread is dumbfounding to me to say the least. WOW
Last edited by OutdoorsyGal; 11-17-2015 at 08:47 AM..
Also, it's the second time that hospice was ordered by him. That's assuming that it's factual and not something else like regular home healthcare.
She probably needs new doctor's orders to certify her as eligible for hospice care.
Hospice care isn't intended to be used as respite care.
Yes they get certified every 6 months and if they don't die fast enough, then they revoke all their support. It's devistating. Just one reason why calling Hospice at the very last minute is good. I learned and am on my third person, hes already out lived our last minute It's too bad Hospice ever came into being, they are the worst organization I've ever dealt with. Plain Evil. Stepford Nurses, they are not like real Nurses at all. You have to do all your own online researching which is hard when you are so exhausted and they are ill
I am dying in a Hospital, what a joke Hospice is. I don't care which hospice you get, they're all the same.
The negatives are not worth it "to keep your family at home" That is nice but it should not be the goal over comfort
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It's too bad Hospice ever came into being, they are the worst organization I've ever dealt with. Plain Evil. Stepford Nurses, they are not like real Nurses at all. You have to do all your own online researching which is hard when you are so exhausted and they are ill
