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Old 11-11-2015, 03:08 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
11,161 posts, read 20,457,871 times
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If you really can't bear to put him in a nursing home, then it sounds like you need to hire someone to be there while you're at work.

As far as the hospital not being able to help, if the conditions they're seeing your dad for are not really treatable and all they can do is make him comfortable for a few days, then he might need hospice care instead.
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Old 11-11-2015, 03:20 PM
 
Location: california
920 posts, read 649,304 times
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Does she qualify for IHSS? Was she very poor before this happened?

Just a thought...
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Old 11-11-2015, 03:32 PM
 
Location: Tijuana Exurbs
4,000 posts, read 10,446,022 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rebellious1 View Post
My dad has lung cancer, renal failure and other health problems. He's getting to the point where he can't walk or even stand on his own some days.
Lung cancer and renal failure? I'm thinking what Hedgehog Mom is thinking. It may be time for hospice care.
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Old 11-11-2015, 03:54 PM
 
9,680 posts, read 15,858,885 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
Very good points.

I am a little surprised that if Dad had serious enough problems or emergencies that he needed to be seen in the hospital emergency room 13 times, rather than just seen by his doctor in his/her office, none of those issues needed rehabilitation in the hospital or in a skilled nursing facility.

Or did Dad refuse rehab for those issues?

I'm surprised some do-gooder social worker hasn't sent APS - Adult Protective Services - out to check on you. NOTE--I'm NOT saying the OP is guilty of any type of abuse, far from it--but sometimes a certain number of ER visits in a given time frame triggers a social worker referral. I don't know what OP should do in such a situation, but I do think its time to establish a relationship with an attorney who specializes in eldercare. There are many issues involved here that would require the advice of an attorney, and its best to establish a relationship now rather than when its an emergency.

Like others have said, a nursing home is NOT free---its amazing how many people simply assume so. The suggestion to put him in a nursing home is oftentimes made by those who have no idea WTH they're talking about! They just figure it somehow happens. Its a complex issue, with a lot of legal and financial issues to consider. If you do get a social worker at your door, at least you have an attorney in your corner!

OP, I'm afraid the situation is not going to improve, and will keep getting worse. The situation is simply not stable and headed downward. Investigate your options now, while you still have some time to plan accordingly. Take care and God Bless
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Old 11-11-2015, 04:20 PM
 
2,563 posts, read 2,789,776 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by countrylv22 View Post
I am sorry that you are going through this I will keep you in my prayers.

How old is your father?
I do not understand how a hospital can say that they cannot help anymore??? If he has insurance & or if you are paying out of pocket, why or how can they refuse him? I do not get it??? Can someone please explain how this is even possible. Thanks.


Best of wishes to both of you.
Basically, hospitals are not there to deal with people who need custodial care. They want a patient they can actually treat with a positive result. I think they're trying to suggest that there isn't much more they can do to improve his condition.
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Old 11-11-2015, 04:39 PM
 
839 posts, read 1,039,552 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by John7777 View Post
Basically, hospitals are not there to deal with people who need custodial care. They want a patient they can actually treat with a positive result. I think they're trying to suggest that there isn't much more they can do to improve his condition.
Exactly. The hospital can only treat the fluid build ups, breathing problems and infections. After he's been in the hospital for a few days he always feels better because all he does is lay in bed.

Regarding the social worker comment. They always ask him if he feels safe in his home and of course he always answers yes so I have never seen one. They have sent out a home health nurse a few times to check on him after being released but that's about it.

I spoke with him today when I got home and brought up the idea that he soon might need assisted living and he was a lot more positive about it than he's ever been before. I think after the fall he finally realized. He finally confessed that he did fall.
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Old 11-11-2015, 05:04 PM
 
Location: :0)1 CORINTHIANS,13*"KYRIE, ELEISON"*"CHRISTE ELEISON"🙏 ❄⭐🎄⛄
2,707 posts, read 5,136,776 times
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Smile Best of wishes to both of you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by rebellious1 View Post
Exactly. The hospital can only treat the fluid build ups, breathing problems and infections. After he's been in the hospital for a few days he always feels better because all he does is lay in bed.

Regarding the social worker comment. They always ask him if he feels safe in his home and of course he always answers yes so I have never seen one. They have sent out a home health nurse a few times to check on him after being released but that's about it.

I spoke with him today when I got home and brought up the idea that he soon might need assisted living and he was a lot more positive about it than he's ever been before. I think after the fall he finally realized. He finally confessed that he did fall.


Rebellious,


How old is your father?
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Old 11-11-2015, 05:43 PM
 
9,680 posts, read 15,858,885 times
Reputation: 16028
Quote:
Originally Posted by rebellious1 View Post
Exactly. The hospital can only treat the fluid build ups, breathing problems and infections. After he's been in the hospital for a few days he always feels better because all he does is lay in bed.

Regarding the social worker comment. They always ask him if he feels safe in his home and of course he always answers yes so I have never seen one. They have sent out a home health nurse a few times to check on him after being released but that's about it.

I spoke with him today when I got home and brought up the idea that he soon might need assisted living and he was a lot more positive about it than he's ever been before. I think after the fall he finally realized. He finally confessed that he did fall.

They ask that of everyone! In the ER, in doctor's office visits, etc. I get sick of t! I wonder what would happen if I said no? Probably nothing....
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Old 11-11-2015, 06:05 PM
 
Location: Fredericksburg, Va
5,188 posts, read 13,355,486 times
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It's wonderful to think of the person you're caring for...and try to put them first....BUT...you have to take care of YOU first. I don't mean to sound mean, but it's the truth. You can do nothing if you're stressed, or broke, or both!

Perhaps it's time for palliative care....talk to the doctor...at some point, treating becomes worse than letting nature take it's course....
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Old 11-11-2015, 06:08 PM
 
839 posts, read 1,039,552 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by countrylv22 View Post
Rebellious,


How old is your father?
He is 76 currently. His dad died @ 94 years old. My dad has always been strong and never got sick. NEVER. But then 71 rolled around and that's when hell started. It's so heart breaking seeing my dad like this. I didn't think he would ever get sick like this and go to live on like his dad did.

I hate this so much. I'm starting to hate myself because I'm not the best at being a caregiver. I've never really had a lot of patience and my job is stressing me out too. New promotion and manager. I had to go through this with my mom right before my dad got sick and she passed in 2012. So it's a like a 1-2 punch.
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