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Old 11-24-2015, 08:24 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
17,017 posts, read 17,335,191 times
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My thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time.
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Old 11-25-2015, 06:29 PM
 
839 posts, read 1,039,321 times
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The nursing home is going to let me bring the dog to the nursing home. They have been really good to me and my dad. Dad hasn't complained about anyone.

I finally told my dad what was going on with him. He kept asking why the doctors hadn't come by to see him so I couldn't bare to lie to him anymore. He was so thankful I finally told him the truth and we had a good heart to heart talk. We both cried and then he told me everything he wanted to have done after he's gone. He said he wasn't scared anymore and was ready when the time came. It was like weight lifted off both of us. He has had a lot of family and friends come by and he has really enjoyed it.

I think when the time gets closer, I'm going to take him out of the nursing home and let him die in his own bed. I'm going to talk to the nurses about this soon.
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Old 11-27-2015, 08:01 PM
 
2,838 posts, read 4,156,321 times
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So glad you got to have a talk with your Dad. Death is a part of life and I believe that being open and honest makes the whole process much easier.

You are a good son and your Dad is lucky to have you.
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Old 11-27-2015, 11:15 PM
 
Location: Georgia
4,562 posts, read 4,091,757 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rebellious1 View Post
The nursing home is going to let me bring the dog to the nursing home. They have been really good to me and my dad. Dad hasn't complained about anyone.

I finally told my dad what was going on with him. He kept asking why the doctors hadn't come by to see him so I couldn't bare to lie to him anymore. He was so thankful I finally told him the truth and we had a good heart to heart talk. We both cried and then he told me everything he wanted to have done after he's gone. He said he wasn't scared anymore and was ready when the time came. It was like weight lifted off both of us. He has had a lot of family and friends come by and he has really enjoyed it.

I think when the time gets closer, I'm going to take him out of the nursing home and let him die in his own bed. I'm going to talk to the nurses about this soon.
It's funny, isn't it? My grandmother was told she had about four months to live, from cancer, but everyone tip-toed around it. My mother and my uncle both told me, "YOU ask her what she wants for her funeral!" Why ME?! They just couldn't do it. So one night, I sat down with a legal pad after we had watched "Jeopardy" and said, "Well, Mom and Uncle are too chicken to ask you, so I got elected -- how would like your funeral?" She stared at me . . . and burst out laughing, exclaiming, "Oh, THANK YOU!! I've wanted to talk to y'all about it, but they always said, 'Oh, let's not talk about that right now!'" We had a wonderful few hours planning her funeral -- turns out she had some very definite wants and dislikes. :-) Laughed, teared up a little. Picked out hymns, picked out scripture readings, talked about who would do the eulogy, even down to which funeral home she preferred. It was a good thing -- she died peacefully in her sleep three days later, instead of the four months they had predicted. So we had all the notes, and everything was so much easier since we didn't have to keep asking ourselves, "Is this what she would have wanted?"

Blessings and prayers to you and your dad as you deal with what is to come.
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Old 11-28-2015, 04:39 PM
 
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Sounds like you have found a path .. hugs, I know it is hard ... Here is a little bit about what I do, incase anyone else is still facing this VERY HARD decision.

The fist gentleman I cared for had dialysis stopped too and the toxins gave him a natural feeling of goodwill before the levels sedated him. His was a peaceful release, for him. The rest of us caregivers and family still miss him to this day

I live in Oregon. I do private live-in care for a 96yrold wwII vet. Before that I was a state ( of Oregon) paid live-in caregiver for a gentleman who is now deceased. I would check with your state social services and see if they have a program your dad can qualify for. The goal in Oregon is to keep people in their homes as long as they want to stay there. Our program falls under the Seniors and People with disabilities, Here is Oregon's web page, hopefully something like that exists in your state AND can help. Even if your dad doesn't not qualify financially, there may be a section for you and he to look for state -vetted care providers, About DHS Seniors and People with Disabilities Division

Last edited by Justpeachy1955; 11-28-2015 at 04:49 PM..
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Old 11-28-2015, 08:33 PM
 
839 posts, read 1,039,321 times
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Dad passed last night. He had been talking out of his mind for the passed couple of days and I knew it wouldn't be long. Even though he was out of his mind, he still recognized all his friends and family thankfully.

He is now pain free but I'm going to miss him so much. I'm feeling a little alone right now since he was the person that loved me most in this world. I know I have family and friends but it's just not the same. But I will adjust and get passed it with time.

Going to miss him going into the kitchen in the middle of the night to fix him a snack and waking me up. Him sitting in his chair watching TV when I get home from work. Him aggravating me about taking so long to get the GTO back on the road.

One good thing about all this is I made a couple friends(patients) at the nursing home. I plan to go see them every once in a while to see how they're doing. Also plan to taking some gifts to the nurses that took care of my dad.

Thank you everyone.
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Old 11-29-2015, 12:29 AM
 
6,756 posts, read 3,857,072 times
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So very sorry for your loss. Your Dad was very fortunate to have you there for him and seeing that he got good care.
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Old 11-29-2015, 01:36 AM
 
154 posts, read 88,645 times
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My dad was living in an Independant Living Facility for about five years. He was doing really well, but after continually forgetting to take his medications, he started having further health issues that ended him up in Nursing Care..ie..a Nursing Facility.


I looked for the best one possible with a caring staff, while keeping in touch with my sister that lived States away. It wasn't the easiest thing to do, but after a year there, he's very happy. The staff pays him lots of attention, he gets regular meals, and he's better there than he's been even while living in Independent Living.


Granted, while he lived in the Independent Living, he had what he thought was more freedom, but in all actuality, he didn't. The only people he ever saw during the day were when he went down for meals and other than that, all he wanted to do was sleep all day because he was bored.


Don't kick yourself for needing to do what's best for your dad, as if he had a terrible fall in your home, you'd never forgive yourself.


Please look into further care for him and the best care he can afford. Once he's spent down, Medical Assistance will kick in and you can hire an Elder Attorney to help you out with that. It doesn't necessarily have to be expensive, as there are affordable ones out there. With that said, whatever money your dad spends on an Elder Atty..that will come off of what he needs to spend down in order to be eligible for Medical Assistance.
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Old 11-29-2015, 03:23 AM
 
Location: Duncan, Oklahoma
2,601 posts, read 1,230,830 times
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I am very sorry for your loss, rebellious1. I wish you peace in the coming days.
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Old 11-29-2015, 04:28 AM
 
Location: S. FL (hell for me-wife loves it)
3,172 posts, read 1,985,150 times
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I am so sorry for your loss Rebellious. We hope you have peace in your heart, and know what a good son you were to your terrific dad. Hope all goes well with you in the upcoming days.
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