Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
2 daughters and 1 son in my family, and I can assure you the only possible one that could be "available" is the son.
I know. Every family is different. But most of the time under normal circumstances I see the women taking care of care.
How about this? I wonder how many people, if they had to pick the sex of their "final caregiver", and there were no extenuating circumstances or practical issues, would pick which sex to assist them with exiting existence. I know I would pick a female caregiver. Seems more comfortable and more natural.
I have definite opinions on the role of women in caregiving, and it exalts them and recognizes their superiority over males in this activity. And I did answer your question. If there are no women available in the family unit caring for the sick individual, then men can and must pick up the slack. But there is slack. Women are better at caregiving than men. Period.
I think this is a very individual thing. I do the majority of caregiving for my Mom, but what it entails mostly is driving, household tasks, and fixing things around the house. These are not especially feminine activities for the most part. I'm a woman, and I don't intend to be wiping any butts or changing any diapers. I didn't have kids either.
I recently read that the main reason it's mostly daughters doing the caregiving is that most of the dependent elderly are women (who generally outlive their husbands) and they prefer a same-sex caregiver. That makes sense to me, because my father was cared for by his second wife until his death, but my mother is still alive and in need of quite a bit of help. Men do take care of both fathers and mothers when required, but I can certainly imagine an elderly woman being uncomfortable with a son helping her bathe or attending to her bodily functions. Most women would definitely prefer a daughter if it comes to that.
Time to knock it off with the insults. I have two degrees, but that doesn't really matter.
You seem to think that all women are cut out to be caregivers, they're not.
Maybe it has something to do with your upbringing? Having grown up in NY but now residing in CA I remember a lot of Italian American families where only the daughters assisted in regards to helping out around the house. It was outdated back in the 70s to those of us who weren't Italian, it's absolutely archaic nowadays.
I had a friend growing up with one sister, she would actually stay home from school to help out the mother. Four brothers and not one of them ever lifted a finger in the house, so perhaps it's your background that makes you think this way.
Again, not everyone has daughters. I also know of cases where the adult daughter did nothing and the son took care of the parent/parents.
There are also many DIL taking care of theirs spouses parents.
I have observed this cross-culturally. And I'm 1/2 German. We come across this quite often in the real estate business. End-of-life issues often involve the sale or rental of real estate. I would have guessed that 75% of caregivers are female, but I would have been a little high.
It turns out that 2/3 of caregivers are female. How does that grab you? And: "Although men also provide assistance, female caregivers may spend as much as 50% more time providing care than male caregivers
I think this is a very individual thing. I do the majority of caregiving for my Mom, but what it entails mostly is driving, household tasks, and fixing things around the house. These are not especially feminine activities for the most part. I'm a woman, and I don't intend to be wiping any butts or changing any diapers. I didn't have kids either.
I recently read that the main reason it's mostly daughters doing the caregiving is that most of the dependent elderly are women (who generally outlive their husbands) and they prefer a same-sex caregiver. That makes sense to me, because my father was cared for by his second wife until his death, but my mother is still alive and in need of quite a bit of help. Men do take care of both fathers and mothers when required, but I can certainly imagine an elderly woman being uncomfortable with a son helping her bathe or attending to her bodily functions. Most women would definitely prefer a daughter if it comes to that.
Absolutely, and the same can be said about elderly fathers, they don't want their daughter assisting them in the bathroom if there is a son who could help. In fact many don't even want a female CNA assisting them.
In fact I know of two situations right now where the elderly fathers are living with their daughter and son in law, and the SIL is helping in that department.
I think people who step up to the plate when it is their in-law and not even their own parent, whether they be the SIL or DIL are amazing people.
I know I would pick a female caregiver. Seems more comfortable and more natural.
what i have seen (working in healthcare) is if someone has a difficult personality and overbearing attitude, then there is very high turnover of caregivers.
I know. Every family is different. But most of the time under normal circumstances I see the women taking care of care.
How about this? I wonder how many people, if they had to pick the sex of their "final caregiver", and there were no extenuating circumstances or practical issues, would pick which sex to assist them with exiting existence. I know I would pick a female caregiver. Seems more comfortable and more natural.
To you perhaps. I prefer a male masseuse, and a male GYN, so a male caregiver would be more "comfortable and natural" for me.
To you perhaps. I prefer a male masseuse, and a male GYN, so a male caregiver would be more "comfortable and natural" for me.
Interestingly, this problem may soon become academic since everything is based on "feelings" rather than reality and we will soon be able to choose, and rechoose, our gender depending on who we feel like on any given day. So one will be able to ask for a wipe from any old person.
I know. Every family is different. But most of the time under normal circumstances I see the women taking care of care.
How about this? I wonder how many people, if they had to pick the sex of their "final caregiver", and there were no extenuating circumstances or practical issues, would pick which sex to assist them with exiting existence. I know I would pick a female caregiver. Seems more comfortable and more natural.
Really? So the running around is also above the male capability? We needed to sell it my moms car and my brother was SUPPOSED to do it but it needed worked on. So he sat on it but the loan bill still came due every month (while I was robbing peter to pay her medical bills). Finally, I got tired of the excuses and "I" had to pay to have the MINOR work done and "I" SOLD IT.
I also pay to get her grass cut in the summers. Do you think my brother could at least do that much?
I know. Every family is different. But most of the time under normal circumstances I see the women taking care of care.
How about this? I wonder how many people, if they had to pick the sex of their "final caregiver", and there were no extenuating circumstances or practical issues, would pick which sex to assist them with exiting existence. I know I would pick a female caregiver. Seems more comfortable and more natural.
There's plenty of work to be done that YOU would consider "MENS WORK". Or are you saying that men were useless all their lives and a woman did it all.
Interesting discussion....I haven't read all the posts, but I can identify with the hostile comments.
My mom left my dad in CA and took me to FL to live with her parents when I was 4. I have some memories of my dad and brothers in CA, but interestingly, I have no memories of my mom. Nor do I have any memories of her until I was around 11. I went to all summer long camps starting around 8 and only remember the nurse who took care of my grandmother. Went away to boarding school too and so to say I've had some abandonment issues is an understatement. (Lots and lots of therapy!)
Fast forward to getting married and having to move my mother in with us as she had no money, no place to go. It cost me my marriage.
Now, a few years later, guess who is living me - that's right, my mother. My brother won't take her and so has no one else. She was living alone, but it was no longer safe for her. So here she is, with a god awful recliner in the middle of my beautiful condo. And you know what....
It's not so bad. I've done a lot of therapy over the years and can honestly say, I'm happy she is here. She is still able to walk and take care of her basic needs and as I am newly divorced and had never lived alone, it's nice to have the company. Any situation IMHO is what you make of it. I've learned a lot about how she was raised and it was no picnic. So again, it is what it is and I'm CHOOSING to take positive spin on the situation.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
