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Old 01-11-2016, 12:06 PM
 
Location: SW US
2,220 posts, read 2,036,902 times
Reputation: 3824

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I wasn't sure where to post this so if it doesn't fit here, the Mod. can move it.

Yesterday I learned that a friend of almost 50 years has "disappeared." A mutual friend tried to call her and found her number disconnected and her condo on the market. We all live in different cities, far apart, but have maintained our friendship over the years. Our friend is in her early 90's. The other friend spoke with her at Thanksgiving and there was no mention of moving, although both of us had encouraged her to look at a nearby assisted living. We don't know how to find out where she is. We never thought to get contact info for the two relatives we know about, neither of which live in her city. She was always a strong independent person, continuing to live alone in her condo. She had no children and was widowed after a short marriage in her 70's.

This is a wakeup call to me to ask my distant friends for contacts in case they "disappear". And to develop a list of people to notify if something happens to me, although this would depend on someone bothering to follow up. This seems like a particular issue for single people with no kids. If my friend was incapacitated and put somewhere by a relative, did they not think to let her friends know what had happened to her? We are at a loss on how to find her.
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Old 01-11-2016, 12:34 PM
 
17,002 posts, read 20,686,468 times
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Sorry about your friend, there must be a number or a person you can contact through her condo association. Explain who you are and see if you can get some information.

This is why it is important to share information. Have a number or two of a relative or friend that you can contact in situations like this.

I would start with the condo association.
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Old 01-11-2016, 04:08 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
17,056 posts, read 17,369,523 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by seain dublin View Post
Sorry about your friend, there must be a number or a person you can contact through her condo association. Explain who you are and see if you can get some information.

This is why it is important to share information. Have a number or two of a relative or friend that you can contact in situations like this.

I would start with the condo association.
If you can't get the information from the condo association directly, possibly due to confidentiality, another idea is to write to her next door neighbors directly (just use the house number or nearby condo addresses if you don't know their names) and see if they know.


Good luck.
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Old 01-11-2016, 06:08 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
21,896 posts, read 14,390,517 times
Reputation: 30775
If you mail her something, it might be forwarded, if she filled out the forwarding form at her local post office, before she moved. So many people don't do this though.
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Old 01-11-2016, 08:11 PM
 
Location: Massachusetts
6,106 posts, read 7,268,716 times
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If all else fails, you can try to find your friend or forward a message to her through one of her relatives or other close connections through a web site like classmates or facebook.
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Old 01-11-2016, 08:49 PM
 
6,835 posts, read 3,869,983 times
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Someone once tried to locate me by contacting the realtor who listed my house. The realtor didn't give her my info., to protect my privacy. Instead, she gave me the person's info and left it up to me to contact her or not.
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Old 01-11-2016, 10:27 PM
 
Location: SW US
2,220 posts, read 2,036,902 times
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I don't know how to find the condo association. It's a high rise in Chicago. I do like the idea of writing to someone with a nearby unit. I was going to contact the realtor, but today her condo is no longer listed. A friend called the nearby assisted living place and they said she was not there.
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Old 01-11-2016, 10:40 PM
 
17,002 posts, read 20,686,468 times
Reputation: 33993
Quote:
Originally Posted by 495neighbor View Post
If all else fails, you can try to find your friend or forward a message to her through one of her relatives or other close connections through a web site like classmates or facebook.
The woman being searched for is in her 90s. I highly doubt any of her classmates who would still be living are online.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Windwalker2 View Post
I don't know how to find the condo association. It's a high rise in Chicago. I do like the idea of writing to someone with a nearby unit. I was going to contact the realtor, but today her condo is no longer listed. A friend called the nearby assisted living place and they said she was not there.
You have her address don't you? Start there, it should say the name of the condo complex and some contact information for the association.

Have you searched her name for an obituary?
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Old 01-11-2016, 10:48 PM
NCN
 
Location: NC/SC Border Patrol
21,135 posts, read 21,891,633 times
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Does the friend vote? These records are usually public knowledge. Who or where did she buy her groceries? Did she have a housekeeper. Sometimes help can get really personal. You might call the police and ask for their help. They will understand you are concerned about your missing friend.

Is there a forwarding address? Send a letter and ask that it be forwarded to your friend. Somebody knows where this lady is.
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Old 01-11-2016, 11:43 PM
 
6,885 posts, read 7,286,872 times
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In this day and age, if you have the name of one or two relatives…you mean to tell me you can't find THEM either? All you need is a name and a computer. It's amazing how LITTLE you can know about a person, and find them -- IF you want to.

Something nefarious might have happened People don't just disappear.
You say a friend talked to the now disappeared person, back at Thanksgiving.
God forbid she'd died not long afterward. And her relatives haven't thought to notify people. You'd be surprise how NON-thoughtful people can be.

When my mom died of course we notified every one she knew.

Good luck to you….

ETA: I hate to suggest it but did you check obit notices.
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