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Old 01-16-2016, 03:20 AM
 
575 posts, read 851,529 times
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This probably doesn't belong in this forum, but didn't know where else to put it really. And it's not even really a request for help, more than it's just a vent.

AC/Heat, and what do you do? My mom lives local, she is 74 yo. She visits my home from time to time, just to visit, to come for a family function/meal, etc. She freezes when she comes to my house. You would think that I have invited her into a walk-in freezer.

Do you, in the above instance, turn up the AC or the heat .. to accommodate the guest. Or do you expect that the guest realize the home is kept cooler than what she is comfortable with and that she should bring a sweater or offer her one?

To be fair to her, I like it cooler than most. Even the folks that live here with me, .. while they aren't as demonstrative as my mother about it, they do complain from time to time, that it's too cold in here.

My expectation is that she dress accordingly. She has been here enough that she knows it's cooler in my home than she'd like it to be. She lived with me for a period of about a year, and the thermostat wars were brutal.

My feeling is that one can put on more clothes to get warmer. I can't necessarily take off enough clothes to feel cooler.
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Old 01-16-2016, 06:52 AM
 
Location: Wonderland
44,300 posts, read 35,841,586 times
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If everyone in your family is cold and you're the only one that's ever really comfortable, I'd say that you should compromise with the other people who live in your house and turn the thermostat up a little.

That being said, is your mom elderly? If so, many elderly people are hypersensitive when it comes to cold or what they perceive as cold. Honestly, I can't keep my house as warm as my mother would prefer it (my dad is CONSTANTLY turning their thermostat down because she will crank it up to 80 degrees when he's not looking). I mean I guess I could but it's not even particularly healthy to breathe in hot, dry air. So I do expect her to wear a sweater or warmer clothes in general when she comes over. It shouldn't be a surprise to her that our house is cooler than she'd prefer (70 degrees or so).

I drove her someplace yesterday and she acted as if she was absolutely freezing in my car (I had it on 72). I had already adjusted the heat higher than was comfortable for me. I agree that it can be irritating for someone to sit around acting as if they're being abused by being forced into such a "cold" atmosphere. Personally, I'm not going to turn the heat up any higher than 72. I do not have a drafty house or car either so I think that's reasonable. That's a few degrees higher than I prefer it myself.
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Old 01-16-2016, 07:24 AM
 
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You make things more comfortable for others, you only have (1) mom.
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Old 01-16-2016, 07:50 AM
 
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She's probably cold from coming in from outside, and your house is not warm enough to heat her back up. The thermostat setting needs to be set appropriate for everyone, and not just one person. If you like sleeping or working in colder temps, you can adjust the air vents. I sometimes run the fan when I'm working.
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Old 01-16-2016, 08:27 AM
 
Location: USA
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When you know your mother is coming over remind her to wear a sweater or jacket.
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Old 01-16-2016, 08:38 AM
 
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You compromise. Yes, it is reasonable to accommodate your guests when your guest is your 74 year old mother... particularly since you admit your OWN FAMILY living with you complain about the temperature.

On a very cold day, you knock up the heat 1 degree. And you keep a lovely, warm fuzzy cardiagn sweater or fleece for your mother to put on. I would even keep a pair of warm slippers, and possibly a pair of fingerless gloves.

I am often cold, and honestly, it's pretty miserable. Every movie/play/conference/meeting, I am the coldest one in the room. So I'm always wearing the coat, large wrap etc.. and sometimes it just stinks.

I think it is actually a little.... bit....cruel... to just blame her for this ("you didn't dress warm enough"....). There are clearly control issues going on.

You are so lucky that this is considered a problem worth enough to make a thread on City-Data.... you probably don't even realize how lucky you are. Cancer took my Mom long before the age of 74. How lucky you are.....

My 2 cents.
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Old 01-16-2016, 08:42 AM
 
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Older people get colder. I'm 55 and am already experiencing signs of this. My back and neck area is always cold.

Keep warm clothes around for her. A heated electric throw would be nice.
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Old 01-16-2016, 09:08 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rubi3 View Post
When you know your mother is coming over remind her to wear a sweater or jacket.
Sheesh, yes! But alas, there goes drama and victimhood.
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Old 01-16-2016, 09:23 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,877 posts, read 17,190,006 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon View Post
If everyone in your family is cold and you're the only one that's ever really comfortable, I'd say that you should compromise with the other people who live in your house and turn the thermostat up a little.


I agree.

Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon View Post

That being said, is your mom elderly? If so, many elderly people are hypersensitive when it comes to cold or what they perceive as cold. Honestly, I can't keep my house as warm as my mother would prefer it (my dad is CONSTANTLY turning their thermostat down because she will crank it up to 80 degrees when he's not looking). I mean I guess I could but it's not even particularly healthy to breathe in hot, dry air. So I do expect her to wear a sweater or warmer clothes in general when she comes over. It shouldn't be a surprise to her that our house is cooler than she'd prefer (70 degrees or so).
.
My father used to wear long underwear, both tops & bottoms under his clothes from September until June and he was healthy. In fact he worked full time during strenuous outdoor manual labor until he was 80.


Turn the thermostat up when mom visits, plus keep a sweater, a pair of pants and a blanket for her at your house.




Someone that I know keeps their house at 65 in the Wisconsin winter (supposedly to save money) and expects everyone else to cater to his demands to "dress warm". He actually acts like a bully about it.
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Old 01-16-2016, 09:35 AM
 
575 posts, read 851,529 times
Reputation: 542
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon View Post
If everyone in your family is cold and you're the only one that's ever really comfortable, I'd say that you should compromise with the other people who live in your house and turn the thermostat up a little.

That being said, is your mom elderly? If so, many elderly people are hypersensitive when it comes to cold or what they perceive as cold. Honestly, I can't keep my house as warm as my mother would prefer it (my dad is CONSTANTLY turning their thermostat down because she will crank it up to 80 degrees when he's not looking). I mean I guess I could but it's not even particularly healthy to breathe in hot, dry air. So I do expect her to wear a sweater or warmer clothes in general when she comes over. It shouldn't be a surprise to her that our house is cooler than she'd prefer (70 degrees or so).

I drove her someplace yesterday and she acted as if she was absolutely freezing in my car (I had it on 72). I had already adjusted the heat higher than was comfortable for me. I agree that it can be irritating for someone to sit around acting as if they're being abused by being forced into such a "cold" atmosphere. Personally, I'm not going to turn the heat up any higher than 72. I do not have a drafty house or car either so I think that's reasonable. That's a few degrees higher than I prefer it myself.
I had to chuckle at the above. Same thing goes on here, with the car. She gets in and immediately shuts off any vents blowing on her. Comfortable for me is anywhere around about 70/72. Anything above that and I'm beginning to get too warm and uncomfortable.

I do offer her a throw, and/or a jacket/sweater, if she complains (and she does). I turn off any ceiling fans in the room we may be sitting in, so as to not create any draft. She then complains that her nose and ears are freezing. This is with my home climate controlled to about 70/72. I am not comfortable myself if it's much outside of that range.

I just wondered what others feel about it. Just interesting.
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