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I am astounded at the lack of help your family is giving you. I am ashamed of them for you.
You probably have a rash because of stress. While there are creams, more than likely, the rash won't go away until some stressors are removed, so if I were you, I would not waste my money on the doctor.
I know everyone keeps telling you to keep the dog, but it is obvious that as a caregiver, you are not able to handle it. You have to do what is right for you.
If it were me, I would call whatever sibling you want as a real estate agent, and TELL THEM YOU NEED THEIR HELP, PERIOD. If they won't help, you'll have to hire someone else. You cannot do it yourself.
I know you probably aren't accustomed to asking for help, but you need it, your health is deteriorating, and nobody is holding out a hand voluntarily.
They are your family, and they should be helping you. If my family continued to refuse to help, I would disown all of them. I'm sorry but your family sounds like a bunch of assh*les.
OP wish to state kudos to you for fighting the good fight. Have Drs. indicated how much recovery percentage is feasible within a given span of years to decades?
Germaine, I think it should be called caregivers rash, as I have it, too. I have it on my arms and legs and the bottom of my feet. The only thing that has helped is Eucerin Skin Calming Daily Moisturizing Creme. I tried Epson salts, benadryl cream, hydrocortisone cream and benadryl. I haven't had a chance to go to the doctor but I know it's stress.
Today is the day to show our condo to a possible private buyer and the first real estate agent. To get my siblings and son who thinks that he helps "care give" from 2,000 miles away (ha!) "off my back" last December I promised it will be ready to show real estate agents on March 1st. Today is Tuesday, March 1 and I have not seen all of the condo since Thursday so I'm hoping that my daughter followed though on everything that she promised to do in her bedroom & elsewhere in the condo with her stuff. If not, well the rest of it looks OK enough.
Both of my brothers, who live in the area, were licensed real estate agents and my one brother was quite active in the business for many years as a side line and they suggested that I would be "more comfortable" handling everything by myself. (I'm the person who has only made two housing purchases in her entire life - 30 years ago and about 33 years ago both handled with the help of my husband who was at that time an attorney, and hasn't really sold anything ever- as our first condo was bought by the company that built our second condo)
More Comfortable!?!?!
Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech
I am astounded at the lack of help your family is giving you. I am ashamed of them for you.
You probably have a rash because of stress. While there are creams, more than likely, the rash won't go away until some stressors are removed, so if I were you, I would not waste my money on the doctor.
I know everyone keeps telling you to keep the dog, but it is obvious that as a caregiver, you are not able to handle it. You have to do what is right for you.
If it were me, I would call whatever sibling you want as a real estate agent, and TELL THEM YOU NEED THEIR HELP, PERIOD. If they won't help, you'll have to hire someone else. You cannot do it yourself.
I know you probably aren't accustomed to asking for help, but you need it, your health is deteriorating, and nobody is holding out a hand voluntarily.
They are your family, and they should be helping you. If my family continued to refuse to help, I would disown all of them. I'm sorry but your family sounds like a bunch of assh*les.
I wish I lived nearby. I would help you.
Just to clarify, neither of my brothers are licensed real estate agents anymore. One just "dabbled" in it but the other spent decades buying and selling properties for himself so is extremely knowledgeable about real estate.
I was shocked when he told me a week or so ago that he felt that I would be "more comfortable" doing it by myself.
That took me completely by surprise because I thought all along that he had planned to work with me on the entire process. Even as recently as a month ago, our son, who was in contact with my brothers about this told me that they would be "managing the sale" with my guidance and input.
However, in his defense, the brother with the decades of real estate experience does have fairly severe health problems of his own and he does have his own responsibilities (he & his wife care for a grand-child two days a week).
I did tell him that after I first met with agents, I wanted his help in decided who to sign with and the best option (selling as is, or doing some of all of the changes/updates that they recommended).
Germaine, I am just now reading your later posts about your brothers not helping you well your condo. If you need a realtor, interview at least three people who have experience doing condo sales in your area. If you find the right realtor, you will be guided step by step through the process of selling.
I think you have hopes of selling without listing, so if that happens, I think you need a real estate attorney to protect yourself.
Yesterday one of the possible new owners of my husband's dog came to meet the dog. She loved him and her whole family will be back tonight to all meet the dog. She gave references including the name of the vet who worked with her previous dogs and has agreed to our conditions for rehoming (my daughter & I will make a home visit first, we will have a contract stating that if it "doesn't work out" they will return the dog to us, plus we want to make at least one visit to make sure that the dog is adjusting after a few weeks.)
I took my husband to walk his dog yesterday and I'm pretty sure that he has forgotten that I told him that we are rehoming him. I don't know if, or how much, I should remind him about it but the dog will probably be gone in only a week. I really don't know what to do?
RATS!!!!! I just remembered that my husband had a counseling appointment yesterday that we completely forgot about! We will have a $50 missed appointment charge plus I was going to have the counselor talk to him about the dog. Rats! Rats! I just have too many things to remember.
.
Good news about our dog. I was able to make an emergency psychologist appointment (perhaps, breaking into hysterical crying on the phone helped them quickly "find" another time) for my husband. We discussed it together emphasizing what would be best for the dog. At the end DH voluntarily said that it would be best for his dog to be with a family that could walk him and play with him and give him the attention that he needs even though he (DH) did not want to give him up. Unfortunately, my husband probably will not remember that he said that, but at least I/we know that he did say it.
Also, the psychologist said that we would not be charged for a missed appointment since DH is a long time patient and has never missed an appointment before this (or possibly because I was crying on the phone when I made the new appointment).
OP wish to state kudos to you for fighting the good fight. Have Drs. indicated how much recovery percentage is feasible within a given span of years to decades?
The doctors said that "the majority" of recovery from a TBI comes in the first six months. While they did not give percentages I am speculating that he may be able to make another 5% or 10% gain in the next six months, however he started out with mild dementia so that greatly effected his progress. And the dementia is progressing
IMHO, he has probably made about as much progress as he will make. He is probably about the level of a 8 or 9 year old child, with some higher splinter skills due to his long term memory. Whereas before his TBI, he was at least like an older teen or young adult, as he could safely drive, write checks, handle small amounts of money or use a credit card for simple shopping (he couldn't do long range planning or handle the family bills or anything major), and assist in decision making even with his mild dementia. Last summer, before the TBI, he was still handling his own schedule such as making his own doctors appointments, plus doing all of the grocery shopping, laundry and many household chores for us (as I was working both a full time and a part time job at that time).
Now, like an 8 or 9 year old he needs almost 24/7 supervision. For example, I can now go to the mail box or the basement storage room for a few minutes and I am pretty confident that he would be OK. However, I rarely do that just in case he gets confused or disoriented while I am gone. Twice I had to make a trip to bank or post office on a Saturday morning before it closed and left him asleep for the 15 to 20 minutes that I was gone. While he was fine, I was pretty nervous the entire time that I was gone.
Like an 8 or 9 year old he can chores around the house, but sometimes gets confused. Last night he washed the dishes in the dish washer and put them away. When I opened the cupboard I discovered that instead of putting the bowls in one stack and the plates in a different stack he had them in one tall, very precarious stack, plus the glasses & coffee mugs were stuffed in the same cupboard. When I opened the cupboard where the glasses & coffee mugs are stored I discovered a box of cookies, rice & other items from when he put away the groceries.
And, when he puts away the clean clothes, it is sometimes a surprise where it ends up. Sometimes, a big surprise (like putting my clean socks in the linen closet with towels or his clean handkerchiefs with the newspapers).
But, I believe that it is important for him to continue the chores and responsibilities that he is capable of handling so that he feels a purpose and feels that he is contributing to running the household.
OTOH, he still reads the newspaper every day and the Wall Street Journal twice a week and enjoys discussing the articles with me, loves Masterpiece Theater & Nova & Frontline, discusses topics related to "parenting" our adult children and other things that are not typical 8 or 9 year old activities.
It is odd that my husband of almost 40 years is not an "equal partner" in the marriage anymore. He has absolutely no interest in anything financial or any decision making at all except for very basic things deciding what he wants at the grocery store (and even there I need to help him a great deal).
However, I am just very happy that I am able to care for him at home. Many of the doctors, nurses, therapists originally felt that he would need to be in a nursing home.
Last edited by germaine2626; 03-04-2016 at 07:07 AM..
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Caregivers rash
(I'm the person who has only made two housing purchases in her entire life - 30 years ago and about 33 years ago both handled with the help of my husband who was at that time an attorney, and hasn't really sold anything ever- as our first condo was bought by the company that built our second condo) 
