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Can you take a day off from doing chores? Even if you could get your daughter to baby sit your DH for a day, and if you could take that day and go somewhere and decompress? I know your brain aches now, but think if there is away for you to give yourself a day of vacation, away from the decisions you need to do. I hope you can do this for yourself.
On the drivers license, I'd say it is worth it to you to take your DH off the insurance. He could surrender it , and then you could get him a state I.D. You could tell him that he can get it back when he gets better. It is a fiction, but it is a benign fiction. I think you need the extra $120 a month.
But I also understand that it can be hard to find the will to do certain things, when you feel totally exhausted. So, whatever you do, be kind to yourself. You can only do what you can do. I hope things feel better tomorrow. I wish I had better ideas!
Please know I think of you often, and hope you are managing OK. I think you are doing an amazing job as it is.
That is great advice and I really hope that sometime in the future I would be able to do it.
But my older brother, son and other relatives are really, really pushing me to get the condo finished so that it can go on the market. But, only being able to actually go there to work a few hours a week (while our daughter is watching my husband or he is in therapy) makes it very slow going.
I would be ecstatic to just be able to go to a coffee shop and sit by myself or with a friend for 15 minutes without having to watch and worry about my husband.
Did you know that until last week, when I saw my book club friends for two hours at book club (daughter stayed with her dad), I had not had even one "social" or "free time" break since September, when my husband fell? I haven't had my hair cut, I haven't been able to go to doctor or the dentist, I wasn't even able to go to the store to buy Christmas presents (oops, too late for 2015).
Can your daughter organize the condo? Perhaps put some items in storage? Of course it would be better for you to control what happens to the possessions you have acquired throughout your life, but it's not possible that even a single item is more important than your physical or mental health. Your current schedule clearly endangers both.
All,
Thank you everyone for your support and kind words. I slept late and really tried to take it easy today to try start to regain some of my strength. I felt a little better until...
my son (who lives 2,000 miles away) sent me an email today and said that I was being "rude, inconsiderate and ungrateful" to him and my siblings because I always sounded so negative and unhappy on the phone and in emails and that I was always sharing "bad things". I really didn't know how to respond to that.
I ended up apologizing but that did not seem right. I'm perplexed. Shouldn't I be able to share "bad things" with my adult children and siblings? Ironically, I only share a fraction of what I post here or what really happens. Sheesh!
Last edited by germaine2626; 01-31-2016 at 08:04 PM..
I'm begging you to research oil of orageno (wild Mediterranean only), coconut oil organic unrefined only and Sovereign 10 part per million slver Solution ( not colloidal preparations). Study the doses and hammer him as it will cure him without ANY side effects! If this fails he cannot be harmed.
All,
Thank you everyone for your support and kind words. I slept late and really tried to take it easy today to try start to regain some of my strength. I felt a little better until...
my son (who lives 2,000 miles away) sent me an email today and said that I was being "rude, inconsiderate and ungrateful" to him and my siblings because I always sounded so negative and unhappy on the phone and in emails and that I was always sharing "bad things". I really didn't know how to respond to that.
I ended up apologizing but that did not seem right. I'm perplexed. Shouldn't I be able to share "bad things" with my adult children and siblings? Ironically, I only share a fraction of what I post here or what really happens. Sheesh!
Germaine -
While I think your siblings should definitely be able to be a support network for you (though it sounds like that's not exactly the case in your situation) - your son may very well just want to remain a "Child" in the parent/child relationship for essentially ever.
A lot of adult children don't want to think of their parents as complex adults with financial problems, marital problems, health problems, drug problems, whatever. They just want the certainty of the black/white relationship they had as true children.
Which is unfortunate, and not a very realistic attitude, but might mean that you just shouldn't share things with your son. If he then complains that he's not kept in the loop - you can inform him that you were respecting his wishes to only hear "positive" things.
Sorry you're having such a time! I always laugh when people say "family" make caregiving easier. I can't imagine anything further from the truth!
All,
Thank you everyone for your support and kind words. I slept late and really tried to take it easy today to try start to regain some of my strength. I felt a little better until...
my son (who lives 2,000 miles away) sent me an email today and said that I was being "rude, inconsiderate and ungrateful" to him and my siblings because I always sounded so negative and unhappy on the phone and in emails and that I was always sharing "bad things". I really didn't know how to respond to that.
I ended up apologizing but that did not seem right. I'm perplexed. Shouldn't I be able to share "bad things" with my adult children and siblings? Ironically, I only share a fraction of what I post here or what really happens. Sheesh!
I wish you could have a mini vacation. Away from all your responsibilities, even for just two or three days. Is there any possibility of that? I am sending more positive thoughts in your direction.
All,
Thank you everyone for your support and kind words. I slept late and really tried to take it easy today to try start to regain some of my strength. I felt a little better until...
my son (who lives 2,000 miles away) sent me an email today and said that I was being "rude, inconsiderate and ungrateful" to him and my siblings because I always sounded so negative and unhappy on the phone and in emails and that I was always sharing "bad things". I really didn't know how to respond to that.
I ended up apologizing but that did not seem right. I'm perplexed. Shouldn't I be able to share "bad things" with my adult children and siblings? Ironically, I only share a fraction of what I post here or what really happens. Sheesh!
F*ck him! I wish I could email that little assclown and tell him off for you!
All,
Thank you everyone for your support and kind words. I slept late and really tried to take it easy today to try start to regain some of my strength. I felt a little better until...
my son (who lives 2,000 miles away) sent me an email today and said that I was being "rude, inconsiderate and ungrateful" to him and my siblings because I always sounded so negative and unhappy on the phone and in emails and that I was always sharing "bad things". I really didn't know how to respond to that.
I ended up apologizing but that did not seem right. I'm perplexed. Shouldn't I be able to share "bad things" with my adult children and siblings? Ironically, I only share a fraction of what I post here or what really happens. Sheesh!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Harpaint
Wow. That must have really hurt. This whole time I've thought how lonely you must be because your daughter seemed like the only one who "got it".
I continue to wonder why my son sent that email. Especially after he sent another email today reminding me how much he and my siblings were helping me and that I should feel grateful for the help that I am getting. The thing is that they really haven't helped me in any useful way for months (except for agreeing to sell some land that we jointly own, which at some point I will receive my share of the payment and my sister calls me several times per week with words of encouragement)
Maybe, some of my updates to the family were depressing, but they were the truth. Actually they were, IMHO, an upbeat, positive spin on the truth.
PS. I am having trouble with my computer. If I am gone for a few days it is probably due to being without a computer and nothing sinister.
Last edited by germaine2626; 02-01-2016 at 10:37 AM..
Reason: added PS.
I continue to wonder why my son sent that email. Especially after he sent another email today reminding me how much he and my siblings were helping me and that I should feel grateful for the help that I am getting. The thing is that they really haven't helped me in any useful way for months (except for agreeing to sell some land that we jointly own, which at some point I will receive my share of the payment and my sister calls me several times per week with words of encouragement)
Maybe, some of my updates to the family were depressing, but they were the truth. Actually they were, IMHO, an upbeat, positive spin on the truth.
PS. I am having trouble with my computer. If I am gone for a few days it is probably due to being without a computer and nothing sinister.
Just stop responding to your kids and let them come to you for information. Obviously the little snowflakes can't handle it.
Personally, I would have let them have it and told them not to bother contacting me if they can't handle how hard my life is now with their father having gotten a brain injury and can no longer walk, talk, etc. "Excuuuuuuuse me for burdening you with this!"
RRRRR
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