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O.P., thank you for your honesty!
I suspect there are many on this forum who would like to come out and say the same thing, but don't "dare," for some idiotic fearful reason.
She has admitted that she wants to go & I told her that we would be fine & that we love her. That next time her dad comes for her that she should go with him.
My dad told me that the day before my mom died, she carried on a conversation with her oldest sister (who was basically a mother to her) that had passed many years ago. She was so glad to see her.
No flack, totally understand what you're saying as do others on here.
The only thing I can tell you is when you're waiting and want their suffering to end, when they do go it's a still a shock to the system. To have the Dr. or nurse tell you "your mother is gone", still brings you to your knees.
Your emotions are all over the place. Everything seems surreal.
O.P., thank you for your honesty!
I suspect there are many on this forum who would like to come out and say the same thing, but don't "dare," for some idiotic fearful reason.
I've got my arse handed to me by some on here before about moving in with her & taking care of her. I figured at this point what do I have to lose?
I want her to go for herself more then anything & for me. I hate seeing her like this & I want to grieve & move on with my life. She would want that I don't believe that anyone who is about ready to pass, wants their family to spend a lot of time grieving over them. I can see that statement biting me in the arse.
BTW, it's not necessarily true about the pacemaker keeping her alive for an artificially extended period of time. My Mom had a pacemaker implanted at age 93, even though she was suffering from Alzheimers (she was experiencing falls due to missed heartbeats and the falls led to brain bleeds). She died in her sleep at age 94 even though the pacemaker was still in place and operating fine AFAIK. The body "knows" when it's time to shut everything down, IMO.
She died in her sleep at age 94 even though the pacemaker was still in place and operating fine AFAIK. The body "knows" when it's time to shut everything down, IMO.
Thanks for this. My husband has a pacemaker and I wondered how that works.
Do you have any formalized Hospice Care? There are many ways to help her be more comfortable and they can help prepare you as well for what is coming. You don't have to deal with this by yourself.
Do you have any formalized Hospice Care? There are many ways to help her be more comfortable and they can help prepare you as well for what is coming. You don't have to deal with this by yourself.
It's me & my wife she's a CNA when she isn't working (which she as cut back to two days a week.) She works miracles. We have a nurse who comes in once a week to look her over & one of her friends who used to work with mom in the hospital comes over, on days that my wife doesn't work so we can get out & take some time for ourselves. Which every body agrees we do to do. Every 30 days she can go into respite. She can spend up to 5 days there. She's been twice in the 5 months we've been here. We have a social worker who comes in & we talk to her once a week plus we have a support group we go to every so often. So we are not alone mom is ending her journey I spend as much time as I can with her when she's awake. It hurts to see her like she is she's always been very strong.
My parents were 90 and my mom was sick and couldn't eat, but didn't want to die, but hey if you don't eat, that happens. My dad was ready for years to go to the great Cheers in the sky so he purposely stopped eating 5 weeks after my mom died. I am very very glad they did not have to eke out some pathetic existence in a nursing home or something. I was happy for my dad when he passed, because he was not happy down here. I hope that if your mother is suffering or not living the life she is meant to live, that she gets peace as well.
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I can see that statement biting me in the arse.
