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Old 02-18-2016, 07:49 AM
 
Location: Rutherfordton,NC
14,091 posts, read 8,988,190 times
Reputation: 9544

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Yes, you read that right. And I'm sure I'll get a lot of flack for it here.


Let me explain. My mom has always been the type of person to go from the time her feet hit the floor.
This last month she stays in the bed & 95% of the time she sleeps. Her lips are turning blue along with her fingers & her toes because she keeps pulling her breathing tube off. She has dreams of her dad coming & wanting to take her on a trip home. Even though we have guard rails that run down the length of the bed, she still mange's to get out some how. She doesn't fall but she does lay down in the floor because she doesn't have it in her to get back up. We've found her 4 times now on the floor.
We keep a baby monitor by her bed & we hear her talking to someone. She's not eating & the only way we can get her to take her meds is to crush them & get put them in pudding. So total she eats 4 bites of food all day. She has lost so much weight that we can see her pacemaker though her skin. Her skin is thin & you can see right though it. Most of the time she even doesn't know where she is these days & it breaks our heart to see her like this.


This isn't living & it's not right that she can't go on like this. No one should have to live like this..
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Old 02-18-2016, 07:52 AM
 
Location: S. FL (hell for me-wife loves it)
3,160 posts, read 1,964,409 times
Reputation: 9652
From my only one experience with death, she does not have a long time to go. My Father in Law died within 2 days of lower legs turning purple-blottish, then his forehead.

Peace to you, and what comes after.


edit: Wife (her father) whispered in his ear night before he left...that it was alright for him to leave. He died the next evening. Perhaps she needs to know it's alright to leave and that everyone around her loves her, but knows she is suffering.
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Old 02-18-2016, 07:55 AM
 
Location: USA
2,621 posts, read 2,008,389 times
Reputation: 4290
She obviously wants to die but doesn't want to directly say it otherwise she wouldn't be pulling out her breathing tube repeatedly. Can't you get an attorney to help out if that's what she wants? Forcing her to live is selfish.

Peace be with your family
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Old 02-18-2016, 07:55 AM
 
Location: USA
7,778 posts, read 10,096,619 times
Reputation: 11698
From what you've described it's doubtful you'll get any flack. She will go very soon.
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Old 02-18-2016, 08:01 AM
 
Location: Leaving fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada
3,855 posts, read 6,849,742 times
Reputation: 7311
It's so hard to see your mom going through this. She's your mom and you love her! It's understandable that you want her suffering and pain to be over.

Right now just continue to do all you can to keep her comfortable.

Sending hugs and prayers your way.
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Old 02-18-2016, 08:03 AM
 
Location: North Beach, MD on the Chesapeake
33,835 posts, read 41,902,030 times
Reputation: 43207
No flack.
My mother died in July 2010 and, while not at the level yours is, I could tell when I saw her last a couple weeks earlier that it wasn't too far in the future.


You don't say her age, mine was almost 90, going blind, barely able to walk due to a badly healed hip fracture with a colostomy. It was time.
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Old 02-18-2016, 08:17 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,227 posts, read 22,540,496 times
Reputation: 24023
Quote:
Originally Posted by TerraDown View Post


edit: Wife (her father) whispered in his ear night before he left...that it was alright for him to leave. He died the next evening. Perhaps she needs to know it's alright to leave and that everyone around her loves her, but knows she is suffering.
I think this is true for a lot of folks, and also, if she has anyone else in her life that need to tell her "goodbye" might be the time for them to pay her a visit.

Its tough to see them in these days but it doesn't sound like she has much longer to suffer!

Thoughts and prayers be with you!
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Old 02-18-2016, 08:17 AM
 
Location: Rutherfordton,NC
14,091 posts, read 8,988,190 times
Reputation: 9544
Quote:
Originally Posted by North Beach Person View Post
No flack.




You don't say her age, mine was almost 90, going blind, barely able to walk due to a badly healed hip fracture with a colostomy. It was time.


Mine is 70 now. She's had cancer since she was 27 she made it this far but we always knew that the cancer would come back & finish her off..
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Old 02-18-2016, 08:24 AM
 
Location: Rutherfordton,NC
14,091 posts, read 8,988,190 times
Reputation: 9544
Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyFarm34 View Post
She obviously wants to die but doesn't want to directly say it otherwise she wouldn't be pulling out her breathing tube repeatedly. Can't you get an attorney to help out if that's what she wants? Forcing her to live is selfish.

Peace be with your family


She has admitted that she wants to go & I told her that we would be fine & that we love her. That next time her dad comes for her that she should go with him.
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Old 02-18-2016, 08:33 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,227 posts, read 22,540,496 times
Reputation: 24023
Quote:
Originally Posted by reed067 View Post
She has admitted that she wants to go & I told her that we would be fine & that we love her. That next time her dad comes for her that she should go with him.
I have worked around patients that was in their final stages, and one of them was to hear them "talk to, or see" their loved ones who have passed away.
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