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Her doctors know but she has steadfastly refused any treatment or therapy over the years for her mental health. She has absolutely refused to acknowledge that she has mental health issues. My dad and I finally basically forced her to go get a neuropsychological exam a few months ago which verified all and more that we'd suspected but since she hasn't been actually declared incompetent she cannot be forced to comply with a mental healthcare treatment plan.
That may be coming to an end soon. I hope so. Her untreated mental health issues have wreaked havoc on our family and our lives and her life for decades.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon
We have begged every single doctor so far to please address her mental health issues, and they are insisting that they are only going to treat her broken hip and when she gets to rehab we need to meet with a care team to formulate a long term plan. I do actually see the wisdom in this though it feels like they're sort of passing the buck.
The issue with my mom is that she can competently answer mental health screening questions - where are you, who are you, what city is this, count backwards from ten, that sort of thing. It takes a more in depth mental health screening to uncover her issues. She is VERY articulate, so she can sort of fake her way through some simplistic screening.
Can't you show the doctors her previous neuropsychological evaluations and say how her untreated mental health issues with likely effect her recovery from her broken hip (such as she won't follow through on physical therapy or take her antibiotics if she is manic)? Can you imply that if her broken hip causes her future problems or death you will blame the hospital and doctors for providing substandard, inappropriate care because they ignored her mental health issues knowing that it would effect her recovery from her broken hip?
Will her primary care physician intervene on your behalf? Or the neurologist who did the assessment? Or some other doctor that you have a relationship with?
Perhaps, just putting a copy of that report in her hospital file and giving a hard copy to each doctor may persuade them to take action (highlight key points).
Perhaps you can even consult with an attorney who deals with medical malpractice and see if they have any ideas for you. I bet that there is something that you or your dad are able to do to persuade the doctors to help your mom now instead of just passing the buck to the rehab facility.
Last edited by germaine2626; 03-05-2016 at 10:49 AM..
IIf nothing else, your mom's time in rehab might provide a bit of respite for you. I'm sorry to hear you are having to deal with this now.
Hopefully when she gets to rehab, she will begin to comply with therapy. When my mom was in rehab the first time, the team warned me that she might be discharged for noncompliance. Thankfully she turned it around.
Hugs to you!
Last edited by photobuff42; 03-05-2016 at 12:00 PM..
Just ask them to send geri psych to see her while she is in the hospital. This is reasonable. Especially if she is having confusion while she is there.
Just ask.
You never know when the breakthrough will happen.
My father had seen dozens of doctors his whole life without having his cognitive/psych issues addressed. Then.... we met the right doctor, at an unusual time for a different reason. He trusted her a little. And when she said what he needed..... he listened.
There wont be a geri psych at rehab. She can get follow-up neuropsych testing in rehab though/
Don't let past failures get you down. It is these transition points where major changes... breakthroughs.... breakdowns... happen.
God's Peace to you at this time. My dad died about a year ago and he was a huge narcissist. We had quite a lot of difficulty getting his depression, anger and other issues addressed in rehab and the nursing care facility. If the hospital had helped out in this area it wouldn't have been a problem later on in rehab and final care.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I have a dear friend who now has dementia. She's in a great facility - at first her daughter and SonInLaw moved in to help their dad care for her. It got to the point she needed more care than they could give. They found a place for her, sold the house and all moved near to where she now lives. Recently she fell and broke a hip. She's been through rehab and is back at her "home" (which is just a wonderful place - I follow them on fb for a glimpse of my beloved friend). All this to say - well, I'm not sure why I said all that. But the accident doesn't have to be as scary as it sounds. Just an example of a successful recovery.
I saw something on fb that said "A person with dementia isn't giving you a hard time. A person with dementia is having a hard time." Something we should all remember.
I would take this window, and have the geriatric psychiatrist come see her before she leaves the hospital. This can help document her dementia and untreated bipolar, at the least.
Also.... One medicine used for dementia actually has been shown to have mood stabilization properties. Namenda. If she his willing to take any meds, this may have no side effects.
Another thing to keep in mind is the docs may be able to start her on a mood stabilizer that is also a pain medication. For example, lamictal and even gabapentin can help with pain, and stabilize mood.
The idea is that some folks won't take psych meds, but they might take pain meds or memory meds. Use that.
The geriatric psychiatrist will be experienced with folks like your Mom. Even if she refuse all meds, the doc may have advice for family and will be able to give instructions to the Rehav hospital to at least try treatment during rehab. She may take the meds at least when nurses tell her to.
This is your window. Grab it.
I'm very sorry to hear about your Mom....
This is excellent advice.
Kathryn, so sorry to hear you're going through this.
My dear Mother had Alzheimer's Disease for about 8 years. My brother and I maintained her at her home during this time with the help of companions.
Mom used to call me crying that she wanted to go home (she actually was in her own home). I would go over to her house and try to show her that she was in her own home. One day she called crying hysterically that she wanted to go home. I finally figured it out - tell her what she wants to hear. I told her, Mom, I know where you are, wait for me, I'll be right there to take you home. I called back in 10 minutes, she was calm and peaceful and didn't remember the last conversation. It was then that I came up with the crazy therapy called "red shovel". So, if she told me in July that there was was blue snow on the ground, I would get a "red shovel". In other words, tell her what she needed to hear to comfort her, she will probably forget it in ten minutes anyway.
I cannot tell you how much this stupid little trick brought peace to me. I would no longer try to convince her of reality and my "going along" with her 'delusions" brought peace to her as well as I was not trying to convince her that she was wrong.
Mom is now gone about 25 years and I cherish the time I spent with her even when using my "red shovel" therapy.
Kathryn, it can always be worse and one day, it probably will be, but try the trick I came up with. When reality becomes to painful, try a little "red shovel".
Oh Kathryn, I'm so sorry to hear this. My mom fell and broke her hip on December 4. She got home from rehab about a month ago and is actually getting around fairly well, with her walker. Home health comes two days a week to help her shower and dress. We were pleased at how she progressed in rehab. The only sad part was that on Christmas morning, my dad passed away. He had been in a memory care unit of an ALF since February, 2015. Fortunately, the rehab center allowed us to take my mom to the Funeral Home for the visitation and the funeral.
Mom is so happy to be home and I am happy her attitude is so good. She is in the middle stages of alzheimer's, so I know that may not last. But we just take one day at a time and the other family members are very supportive and helpful.
You have been through so much with your husband's parents and your mom. Take care and I'm hoping her recovery goes well.
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I have been dreading something like this happening to my mom. I hope your mother has a smooth recovery.
