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My mother passed away from Alzheimer's. We suspect that she had it for some time, but it got noticeably worse when she reached her mid-70's. Once she was diagnosed, she went quickly. Three years later she crossed over because she would not eat. She did have a live-in caretaker, and my brother lived next door to her. We all agreed against a feeding tube, and we know that this would have been her choice.
One of her friends fell victim to Alzheimer's much earlier, and she was pretty much in a vegetative state for years. She voluntarily ate, and that is all she did. Eventually she was given a feeding tube but it wasn't long before the family decided against continuing it.
Euthanasia by starvation may need the patients approval years before this break down if the laws on assisted suicide are in their area , as feeding tubes would be mandatory with Doctors are on the job.......And power of attorney may not have authority for assisted suicide and would sometimes need a judge is some areas to starve people to death, like Terri Schiavo they killed by starvation in Florida by a judge and the power of attorney in 2005, as this made the media as the Governor and the President would not intervene with the Florida judgment and bring a reprieve to this killing by starvation
Once she was diagnosed, she went quickly. Three years later .
I chuckled at the response to this....."you think three years is a short time?"
Yes, it is. Try 14 years on and see how it feels.
Just one point to add, as I went through this with a family member. Her planning and preparation were impeccable. Way beyond a DNR. Specifics as to (summarizing) "should I be in a state where I no longer enjoy life or obviously participate I do not wish to be kept alive by any artificial means". We took that to mean the things which you think about....breathing tube, feeding tube, intravenous nutrition...all the "easy and obvious stuff".
But what about feeding? Is that an "artificial" means? And how do you decide. She might sip a little tea on her own, and once in a while pick up a cracker or cookie and somehow get it in her mouth,,,chew...and swallow. But what about the aide cutting the food up, or putting in on the fork, or putting the fork to/in her mouth? Is that artificial? Where does it start/stop?
The answer for us was given by a Doctor. When she won't swallow, that is when you stop. But do you want to go that far? It is a VERY difficult decision to make, even when the "guidelines" from the individual are clear.
She didn't suffer. Every day seemed to be an oblivious holiday. But how could you tell? I know there was a period of intense frustration when she knew that something was wrong, but what? Then she drifted into a world somewhere away from what we are all used to.
Eventually, the "unconscious" things which the brain does for us...making our kidneys, liver, and ultimately, the heart, function shuts down. And the person dies.
But would it have come a half dozen years earlier I think her wishes to "let me go" when " I can no longer enjoy life" would have been better respected. For the caregiver (me) it was a LONG and horrible road. Every decision questioned...by me...by the family...by the doctors. In the end you do the best you can do.
This is so sad. It gives new meaning to "the long goodbye" and the decisions sometimes involved. Thanks for sharing, even though it made me cry.
Harpaint - I'm betting anybody that read her post, cried. That's because as caretakers/providers/family members to someone who suffers from this disease, we all know the pain that it brings.
This quote will only be appreciated by those who are caretakers to someone with Alzheimer's/Dementia -
The only good thing about this disease is those that have it don't know it.
Harpaint - I'm betting anybody that read her post, cried. That's because as caretakers/providers/family members to someone who suffers from this disease, we all know the pain that it brings.
This quote will only be appreciated by those who are caretakers to someone with Alzheimer's/Dementia -
The only good thing about this disease is those that have it don't know it.
Except they sometimes DO know it. My MIL knew it till about the last three months of her life. Now THAT was truly heartbreaking.
I didn't say anything the first time I read that statement but after reading it a second time, I just had to point that out. No, they don't seem to know it at the very end, but my MIL had periods of lucidity when she would look me dead in the eye and say, "I've got that memory disease. I'm losing my mind. Why doesn't Jesus just take me home?"
My father had Alzheimers. He stopped eating and drinking. We made the decision not to put in a feeding tube, but ok'd an IV. Big mistake. All we did was to prolong the dying process. I was told by several doctors since then, that because the portion of his brain that controlled eating and drinking was no longer functioning, he no longer felt hunger or thirst.
My mother has a living will that covers this. She also gave me an unlimited POA. I carry a copy of both in my purse. The last time she had to go to the emergency room, they had to retrieve both from 'the cloud'.
It's by far a difficult decision to allow someone to become dehydrated and starve to death. I remember one of my patients that was suffering from AIDS related dementia. The family decided to let him go and discontinued the feeding tube.
He lasted nearly three weeks and looked like a mummy during his final miserable days. He would open his eyes and look at you whenever you did something for him. There was no way of knowing if he was in pain. It was horrific to watch him whither away day by day, and I can't imagine how horrendous this would be for a loved one to witness.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. Kevorkian had the right idea. It's by far kinder to end the suffering with the aid of a physician then it is to allow the suffering to go on and on and on. Why?
My father died of Alzheimer's Disease in September 2012. He had gotten to the point where food and water would just sit in his mouth or dribble out of his mouth. In the final stage, he was unable to chew and swallow.
He had an advanced directive stating not to use extraordinary means to keep him alive if something like that happened. I was with him almost 24/7 for the six days it took him to die. It was a horrible experience. I hope I never have to go through something like that again. I feel for others who have gone through similar experiences with their loved ones. I still truly miss my father every single day, but life goes onward.
As I read - and re-read - some of these posts, I really wish I wasn't in this 'club' that we all find ourselves in. Our bond that we have is that we all share dealing with loved ones with this horrible disease. Each of us have, I'm sure, our own set of events that we've witnessed in dealing with this - most I'm betting, would wish to 'unsee' what we've witnessed.
I know it's often been said that God doesn't give us more than we can handle - His idea of my limits are far different than my own...
I hope that each of you are able to deal with the suffering in a way that can bring others comfort.
And, it's a great quote educator1953 - so I hope you don't mind me borrowing it....
Peace to all...
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