U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Caregiving
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 03-21-2016, 09:10 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
24,828 posts, read 23,763,282 times
Reputation: 30565

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Luvvarkansas View Post
I just read something about this a couple of days ago in the Jan/Feb Saturday Evening Post. It was an article about how the medical community won't let people die....sometimes even ignoring advance directives or living wills.

It said "...dying bodies actually don't want food or water. Dehydration triggers the release of endorphins, easing a peaceful death. Quite the reverse happens if a dying person is hydrated: nausea, vomiting, and increased discomfort can result."
and sometimes they will. my mother didn't have advanced dementia. she had been declining for a few years and i was making sure that her bills were paid...and so on. she had a massive stroke, and the doctor told me that she would never see, hear or regain consciousness again. my mother had put me in charge. all of the paperwork was in place. my brother was very wishy washy and my sister probably wouldn't swat a fly. two nieces and a nephew had an (strong) opinion. step up to the plate or shut up. my brother didn't want to be responsible, in charge, or check on her weekly in a nursing home. my sister lived thousands of miles away. my nieces and nephew weren't going to do anything for her.

i did what she asked me to do, and she died a week later. the doctor talked with me about it daily, telling me to call her whenever i had to. i didn't have to call, but i told my sister to stop incessantly asking me questions and call the doc. thank you doctor. thank you nursing staff, too, because i redirected my sister to you when she was driving me crazy.

that was one of the toughest weeks of my life, and it surely wasn't because of the medical community.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 03-22-2016, 07:27 AM
 
12,694 posts, read 9,926,342 times
Reputation: 9482
Quote:
Originally Posted by cb at sea View Post
Alzheimers or dementia kill the soul...if you can't remember WHO you are or who your family and friends are...it's a terrible way to live.

Living is more than breathing or eating or walking.....your MIND is what makes you alive. When that's gone...what is the point? I've lived with this on BOTH sides of my family....it's god-awful. I know what's in my future...and the end result is not LIFE.
QFT * 1000.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-26-2016, 09:42 AM
 
10,604 posts, read 14,150,780 times
Reputation: 17199
Quote:
Originally Posted by hljc View Post
Euthanasia by starvation may need the patients approval years before this break down if the laws on assisted suicide are in their area , as feeding tubes would be mandatory with Doctors are on the job.......And power of attorney may not have authority for assisted suicide and would sometimes need a judge is some areas to starve people to death, like Terri Schiavo they killed by starvation in Florida by a judge and the power of attorney in 2005, as this made the media as the Governor and the President would not intervene with the Florida judgment and bring a reprieve to this killing by starvation
Feeding tubes are NEVER "mandatory" with doctors.

You're really conflating two totally different scenarios.

My mother had a stroke and HER DOCTOR gave me the options. He advised AGAINST IT.

And your Schiavo facts are OUTRAGEOUSLY WRONG.

Bush most certainly DID intervene he did EVERYTHING in his legal power and MORE ....and even tortured the husband after she died.

INCLUDING having Congress pass a bill and have his BROTHER POTUS fly in during Easter recess to sign it!!!

The LITANY of audacious actions that Bush took are LEGENDARY.

The audacity of Jeb Bush: A governor goes all in on the Terri Schiavo case | Tampa Bay Times

Your bias about this "killing by starvation" is outrageous, too.

Hopefully you'll get some actual experience with the topic and learn.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-26-2016, 09:55 AM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,227 posts, read 22,558,026 times
Reputation: 24023
Absolutely NOT!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-26-2016, 10:33 AM
 
Location: The sleepy part of New York City
1,915 posts, read 1,191,333 times
Reputation: 4264
Quote:
Originally Posted by animalcrazy View Post
It's by far a difficult decision to allow someone to become dehydrated and starve to death. I remember one of my patients that was suffering from AIDS related dementia. The family decided to let him go and discontinued the feeding tube.

He lasted nearly three weeks and looked like a mummy during his final miserable days. He would open his eyes and look at you whenever you did something for him. There was no way of knowing if he was in pain. It was horrific to watch him whither away day by day, and I can't imagine how horrendous this would be for a loved one to witness.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Kevorkian had the right idea. It's by far kinder to end the suffering with the aid of a physician then it is to allow the suffering to go on and on and on. Why?
That line brings back such awful memories for me. My MIL had late stage Alzheimers. At the time she entered hospice she didn't speak or eat, and forgot how to swallow. Her lung collapsed when she was in there and they put her on an IV drip of pain meds, but she was moaning in pain. Before her lung collapsed she didn't make any sounds at all so I knew she was in pain. It was beyond horrific to watch. I begged the nurse to increase her dosage but she refused saying it might kill her. Wouldn't that have been a blessing at that point? My MIL lived 5 days like that and then thankfully passed away.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-09-2016, 09:19 AM
 
3,455 posts, read 2,304,460 times
Reputation: 6992
The American Geriatrics Society has an evidence-based position paper on feeding tubes in advanced dementia. The first position in the paper states: "Feeding tubes are not recommended for older adults with advanced dementia". So "or not" is even the recommendation of the AGS.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-09-2016, 11:12 AM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
24,828 posts, read 23,763,282 times
Reputation: 30565
Quote:
Originally Posted by elliedeee View Post
That line brings back such awful memories for me. My MIL had late stage Alzheimers. At the time she entered hospice she didn't speak or eat, and forgot how to swallow. Her lung collapsed when she was in there and they put her on an IV drip of pain meds, but she was moaning in pain. Before her lung collapsed she didn't make any sounds at all so I knew she was in pain. It was beyond horrific to watch. I begged the nurse to increase her dosage but she refused saying it might kill her. Wouldn't that have been a blessing at that point? My MIL lived 5 days like that and then thankfully passed away.
The moaning isn't uncommon. It's one of the things that may happen in the final stage. Moaning, grimacing, agitated hand movements aren't necessarily a sign that the person is in pain. Watching this happen is very distressing, especially the first time. I've had the honor, luxury, of being able to spend those last days with four loved ones.

It doesn't hurt to ask questions, though. My father was fine, doing the expected things, until one evening when his pain medication was changed. He went from being rather quiet and calm to trying to shout and pulling at his tubes and wires. There wasn't much to be done at that point, but the doctor changed his medication, and it didn't happen again.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 04-09-2016, 01:16 PM
 
6,839 posts, read 7,231,066 times
Reputation: 9752
My mom had Alzheimer's -- didn't die of it. Died of something else. But the comments about feeding tubes, right-to-die issues and euthanasia, versus just "letting someone go" made me also think of a friend who is a quadriplegic. Can't turn in bed, feed herself, chest down paralyzed. Been since way since a freak fall in her apt.

One day she was a fully functioning, speaks four languages, top of her profession person…in an instant -- neck down paralyzed. That was 16 months ago. She's said from Day One…she wants to die. But….she's not terminally ill -- still fully mentally who she is -- just paralyzed so she doesn't qualify for doctor's help with that. Her only choice is to leave the facility where she is, go home and starve herself. But -- she hasn't done it yet. Now she's talking about trying to get to Europe so she can die. Her friends wish she'd use some of her feistiness to get better, which IS possible. But she's sort of given up.

It's a crazy situation -- with so many "factors" it's -- well, crazy. Again, some of the comments about being able to just die (in peace?) made me think of her.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Caregiving
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 12:49 PM.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top