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Old 03-23-2016, 05:29 PM
 
Location: Midland, MI
505 posts, read 524,981 times
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Encourage her to make the most of her rehabilitation. People can make good recoveries, it just takes time.
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Old 03-23-2016, 06:30 PM
 
Location: Wonderland
44,513 posts, read 35,976,458 times
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She may still have a lot of kick left in her. A stroke is a real energy sapper, but she can regain that energy. Like hhwtm said, make sure she goes to rehab and makes the most of it!
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Old 03-24-2016, 06:13 AM
 
6,461 posts, read 6,462,296 times
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The biggest issue is that both parents think my mom is going to wake up one day and be back to normal. They are still planning trips and stuff in a month. They seem to think the rehab for two weeks will cure her. I just don't see how that is possible. I Think the in hospital rehab, which is not outpatient, is to get you functioning more to go home and continue care. I don't think most stroke patients get full time care in a hospital...or do they? I've dealt with caregiving for cancer, ALS, etc... But this stoke stuff is just different.

Thanks for giving me an outlet to vent.
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Old 03-24-2016, 06:51 AM
 
Location: Wonderland
44,513 posts, read 35,976,458 times
Reputation: 62923
Quote:
Originally Posted by Meyerland View Post
The biggest issue is that both parents think my mom is going to wake up one day and be back to normal. They are still planning trips and stuff in a month. They seem to think the rehab for two weeks will cure her. I just don't see how that is possible. I Think the in hospital rehab, which is not outpatient, is to get you functioning more to go home and continue care. I don't think most stroke patients get full time care in a hospital...or do they? I've dealt with caregiving for cancer, ALS, etc... But this stoke stuff is just different.

Thanks for giving me an outlet to vent.
You said it was a smallish stroke, right?

I doubt that your mom will be able to take any sort of significant trip in a month, but she could in a few months. Her recovery may pleasantly surprise you. My mom had a very large stroke ten years ago, which affected her optic nerve, balance, and some reasoning abilities, but not speech, and her memory skills were pretty much intact. She was up and about at home within a few weeks, and back to her normal routine of house keeping, working in the yard, cooking, etc within a couple of months (as her vision improved but was never fully regained - she compensated). She was never able to drive again, and her vision was permanently weird - I don't know a better way to put it - but she adjusted and until she fell recently and broke her hip, she was living a full and active life.

I'm not gonna lie - she was never "the same" and always has had odd little quirks, due largely to her strange vision issues, unsteadiness on her feet, and the occasionally bizarre lack of reasoning powers, but we can still carry on pretty normal conversation with her, she still has her sense of humor, and she still seems to very much enjoy many aspects of daily life. In other words, she's changed but she's still "in there" and she still has a lot of life in her.

I hope your mom surprises all of you with a speedy recovery. I had a friend who had a small stroke and she recovered in about a month, enough to go back to work. In fact, now that I'm thinking of it, I've had two friends who returned to productive, full time jobs about a month after a smallish stroke.
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Old 03-24-2016, 06:54 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,952 posts, read 17,256,385 times
Reputation: 41031
Quote:
Originally Posted by Meyerland View Post
The biggest issue is that both parents think my mom is going to wake up one day and be back to normal. They are still planning trips and stuff in a month. They seem to think the rehab for two weeks will cure her. I just don't see how that is possible. I Think the in hospital rehab, which is not outpatient, is to get you functioning more to go home and continue care. I don't think most stroke patients get full time care in a hospital...or do they? I've dealt with caregiving for cancer, ALS, etc... But this stoke stuff is just different.

Thanks for giving me an outlet to vent.

For some people 70 is young (I have had several family members working fulltime at very demanding jobs at age 70 and beyond) and for some people 70 is very elderly, almost one foot in the grave.

It is possible that your parents are thinking of this trip as encouragement and motivation to work hard in rehab OTOH they may be totally unrealistic and setting themselves up for failure. A small, short trip of a hour or two in car to see the grandkids or a cherished family member may be perfectly fine in a month but if they are buying plane tickets for a strenuous vacation thousands of miles from home it may be completely inappropriate.

Also, when my family members had strokes, even very minor ones, they were always told that they could not drive a car for six months (until they knew the full extent of the stroke, or to prevent a car accident if they had another stroke). I do not know if that is standard medical procedure or not.

I believe that most people have at least several weeks of out patient therapy after they return home from hospital rehab. Often the most progress and possibility of positive change takes place within the first weeks. For that reason, I would be worried that your parents may just brush off out patient rehab as being unimportant or try to put it off until after they take a several week vacation (but, I doubt if Medicare would allow that).

Try to be involved in the doctor visits, at the minimum be involved with the discharge planning. Often people will "only hear what the want to hear" at meetings with doctors. If you are there too you will be able to notes and ask questions to help your parents understand and follow through on what is best for them.


Good luck & hugs.
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Old 03-24-2016, 07:31 AM
 
6,461 posts, read 6,462,296 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
For some people 70 is young (I have had several family members working fulltime at very demanding jobs at age 70 and beyond) and for some people 70 is very elderly, almost one foot in the grave.

It is possible that your parents are thinking of this trip as encouragement and motivation to work hard in rehab OTOH they may be totally unrealistic and setting themselves up for failure. A small, short trip of a hour or two in car to see the grandkids or a cherished family member may be perfectly fine in a month but if they are buying plane tickets for a strenuous vacation thousands of miles from home it may be completely inappropriate.

Also, when my family members had strokes, even very minor ones, they were always told that they could not drive a car for six months (until they knew the full extent of the stroke, or to prevent a car accident if they had another stroke). I do not know if that is standard medical procedure or not.

I believe that most people have at least several weeks of out patient therapy after they return home from hospital rehab. Often the most progress and possibility of positive change takes place within the first weeks. For that reason, I would be worried that your parents may just brush off out patient rehab as being unimportant or try to put it off until after they take a several week vacation (but, I doubt if Medicare would allow that).

Try to be involved in the doctor visits, at the minimum be involved with the discharge planning. Often people will "only hear what the want to hear" at meetings with doctors. If you are there too you will be able to notes and ask questions to help your parents understand and follow through on what is best for them.


Good luck & hugs.
Thanks for all the support. It helps to have an outlet. The caregiving forum is really the best on city data. :-)

My dad was thinking she would return home the day after her stroke, and didn't really want her in the inpatient rehab unit. I had to convince my mom to do it. This is the man who gave her a shower by rinsing her with water. No soap, no washcloth, no shampoo, no conditioner. I just don't see how he could take care of her at home.
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Old 03-24-2016, 07:33 AM
 
6,461 posts, read 6,462,296 times
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Originally Posted by Claudia Dare View Post
That must feel overwhelming. I hope she continues to improve in her recovery. Are you close by?
I'm almost five hours away, unfortunately. So, I can't just come up on a whim.
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Old 03-24-2016, 07:38 AM
 
6,461 posts, read 6,462,296 times
Reputation: 9799
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon View Post
You said it was a smallish stroke, right?

I doubt that your mom will be able to take any sort of significant trip in a month, but she could in a few months. Her recovery may pleasantly surprise you. My mom had a very large stroke ten years ago, which affected her optic nerve, balance, and some reasoning abilities, but not speech, and her memory skills were pretty much intact. She was up and about at home within a few weeks, and back to her normal routine of house keeping, working in the yard, cooking, etc within a couple of months (as her vision improved but was never fully regained - she compensated). She was never able to drive again, and her vision was permanently weird - I don't know a better way to put it - but she adjusted and until she fell recently and broke her hip, she was living a full and active life.

I'm not gonna lie - she was never "the same" and always has had odd little quirks, due largely to her strange vision issues, unsteadiness on her feet, and the occasionally bizarre lack of reasoning powers, but we can still carry on pretty normal conversation with her, she still has her sense of humor, and she still seems to very much enjoy many aspects of daily life. In other words, she's changed but she's still "in there" and she still has a lot of life in her.

I hope your mom surprises all of you with a speedy recovery. I had a friend who had a small stroke and she recovered in about a month, enough to go back to work. In fact, now that I'm thinking of it, I've had two friends who returned to productive, full time jobs about a month after a smallish stroke.
I was reminded of your mom as I was taking care of my mother, as my mom is very attractive too and she is a little vain. She wants to look her best. I helped her wash, condition, blow dry and curl her hair. She needs a five step moisturizing system twice a day, and wants full make up. The hardest thing for her is looking bad. A nurse said she looked like my sister, and it was a big morale boost for her. :-) I think she listened to me more after I helped her look better.
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Old 03-24-2016, 08:07 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,952 posts, read 17,256,385 times
Reputation: 41031
Quote:
Originally Posted by Meyerland View Post
I was reminded of your mom as I was taking care of my mother, as my mom is very attractive too and she is a little vain. She wants to look her best. I helped her wash, condition, blow dry and curl her hair.
She needs a five step moisturizing system twice a day, and wants full make up. The hardest thing for her is looking bad. A nurse said she looked like my sister, and it was a big morale boost for her. :-) I think she listened to me more after I helped her look better.
Wow! I don't think that I have ever met anyone in my entire life who used a "five step moisturizing system twice a day" and my daughter competed in national and international level beauty pageants and I competed in adult pageants, as well!


I am sure that looking her best made her feel very good.
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Old 03-24-2016, 08:27 AM
 
Location: Leaving fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada
3,855 posts, read 6,857,342 times
Reputation: 7311
Quote:
Originally Posted by Meyerland View Post
I was reminded of your mom as I was taking care of my mother, as my mom is very attractive too and she is a little vain. She wants to look her best. I helped her wash, condition, blow dry and curl her hair. She needs a five step moisturizing system twice a day, and wants full make up. The hardest thing for her is looking bad. A nurse said she looked like my sister, and it was a big morale boost for her. :-) I think she listened to me more after I helped her look better.
I think that bodes well for her recovery. If you have no interest, you don't care what you look like!
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