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Old 05-03-2016, 07:25 AM
 
Location: Wonderland
44,307 posts, read 35,852,560 times
Reputation: 62671

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Great ideas - thank you, Germaine.
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Old 05-03-2016, 08:02 AM
 
Location: Leaving fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada
3,854 posts, read 6,848,820 times
Reputation: 7311
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon View Post
That's what we're hoping too - my gosh. I took a picture of my mom three years ago to show the social worker and she was shocked.
Does your mom not see her lost beauty? I guess I know the answer but I would hope the photo would shock her, too!
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Old 05-03-2016, 08:15 AM
 
Location: Wonderland
44,307 posts, read 35,852,560 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by photobuff42 View Post
Does your mom not see her lost beauty? I guess I know the answer but I would hope the photo would shock her, too!
Oh, there's no way I'm showing her that photo.

She is in a behavioral health facility and literally ALL SHE IS CONCERNED ABOUT is her makeup and hair care products. She is in complete and total denial about the loss of her looks - which she has caused for the most part by her refusal to eat.
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Old 05-03-2016, 09:34 AM
 
3,737 posts, read 9,571,965 times
Reputation: 6958
No one should do anything shocking or otherwise out of the ordinary without checking with the doctors. KA knows this already. You certainly don't try to shock a person who is in a behavioral health facility for evaluation and care.
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Old 05-03-2016, 10:07 AM
 
Location: Leaving fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada
3,854 posts, read 6,848,820 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetana3 View Post
No one should do anything shocking or otherwise out of the ordinary without checking with the doctors. KA knows this already. You certainly don't try to shock a person who is in a behavioral health facility for evaluation and care.
I wasn't suggesting that at all, I just wondered if her mother realized at all that she is losing her looks.
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Old 05-03-2016, 10:22 AM
 
Location: Wonderland
44,307 posts, read 35,852,560 times
Reputation: 62671
Quote:
Originally Posted by photobuff42 View Post
I wasn't suggesting that at all, I just wondered if her mother realized at all that she is losing her looks.
As various medical professionals have said in the past few months, there is a huge disconnect between my mother and reality.
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Old 05-03-2016, 08:37 PM
 
Location: Georgia
4,560 posts, read 4,064,443 times
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KA, I just ran across this thread, and was struck at how much it echoed what was going on in my own life now with my own 83-year-old mother. A simple dislocation of a 10-year-old artificial hip, with minimal anesthesia (we are well-acquainted with post-operative cognitive disorder in the elderly), in February resulted in a 12 day hospital stay to get blood chemistry, blood pressure and occult bleeding under control My mother went from someone who cared for herself, did her own gardening and yard work, walked without any kind of assistance, did her own shopping, met friends for lunch, went to church, volunteered and enjoyed the theater to someone who couldn't remember what day it was or exactly what town she was living in over the course of a week!! She spent a month in rehab and we were aghast when she was released with these memory issues, unable to go to the bathroom by herself and is now unable to walk unaided.

After being out of rehab for a week, she was back in the hospital (very low blood pressure and a fall that resulted in severe mental confusion), she had a cardiac ablation because she kept going into a-fib and her pacemaker couldn't control. it. She is now in rehab working with physical, occupational and speech therapists (for memory issues), and my brother and I are still reeling from the 180 degree change this once-vibrant and active woman has undergone. She was tested for stroke (no sign), her medication underwent a thorough review and adjustment. And if WE are reeling, I can't even imagine her confusion . . .

She, too, has a severely reduced appetite that has resulted in similar scenes that boil down to "Eat or die!" She has mental lapses -- when she's getting ready for bed, she thinks she's getting up for the day, she is confused about where she is currently living, and when we were leaving after the first stint of rehab and were in the car, she inquired as to "which house are we going to?" "Your house, Mom -- what other house? (a house she has lived in for 45 years)" (I live 500 miles away and was in town to help with the transition and to help assess her needs going forward, my brother and his family live near her in their own home.) She was silent for a moment, then waved her hand airily and said, "Oh, I don't know, there are so many!" At which point I smiled and said, "You own other houses I don't know about?" "What-ever," she grumped, as well as any sullen teenager. :-)

When she gets out of this session of rehab, my brother and his wife are going to move in with her for a couple of months and have a caregiver during the day to help with bathing, etc. since they both work. I think I know, in my heart, that we're looking at some form of assisted living when all is said and done. But I'm still stunned at how rapidly these events have turned her life around, and grieve for the mother that was happy and vibrant just a few months ago. I keep trying to "fix" it, and get her back to where she was in February -- but I'm starting to realize that that woman may be gone forever, and it breaks my heart. Still fighting the good fight as far as getting her aggressive therapy, etc., but trying to figure out whether I'm tilting at windmills and need to accept the new reality, or wondering what stone I've left unturned that could be THE thing that fixes everything.

I don't share this to hijack your thread, but I was struck by the similarities, especially the non-eating. We're still working on that, too. She likes all the bad, sweet stuff, but at this point, calories and protein take precedence, and if that means making ice cream out of Ensure and dribbling caramel sauce over it, then so be it. I share your frustration, KA, and while it might not offer any solid advice, at least you know we understand completely.
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Old 05-03-2016, 10:36 PM
 
Location: Wonderland
44,307 posts, read 35,852,560 times
Reputation: 62671
Quote:
Originally Posted by dblackga View Post
KA, I just ran across this thread, and was struck at how much it echoed what was going on in my own life now with my own 83-year-old mother. A simple dislocation of a 10-year-old artificial hip, with minimal anesthesia (we are well-acquainted with post-operative cognitive disorder in the elderly), in February resulted in a 12 day hospital stay to get blood chemistry, blood pressure and occult bleeding under control My mother went from someone who cared for herself, did her own gardening and yard work, walked without any kind of assistance, did her own shopping, met friends for lunch, went to church, volunteered and enjoyed the theater to someone who couldn't remember what day it was or exactly what town she was living in over the course of a week!! She spent a month in rehab and we were aghast when she was released with these memory issues, unable to go to the bathroom by herself and is now unable to walk unaided.

After being out of rehab for a week, she was back in the hospital (very low blood pressure and a fall that resulted in severe mental confusion), she had a cardiac ablation because she kept going into a-fib and her pacemaker couldn't control. it. She is now in rehab working with physical, occupational and speech therapists (for memory issues), and my brother and I are still reeling from the 180 degree change this once-vibrant and active woman has undergone. She was tested for stroke (no sign), her medication underwent a thorough review and adjustment. And if WE are reeling, I can't even imagine her confusion . . .

She, too, has a severely reduced appetite that has resulted in similar scenes that boil down to "Eat or die!" She has mental lapses -- when she's getting ready for bed, she thinks she's getting up for the day, she is confused about where she is currently living, and when we were leaving after the first stint of rehab and were in the car, she inquired as to "which house are we going to?" "Your house, Mom -- what other house? (a house she has lived in for 45 years)" (I live 500 miles away and was in town to help with the transition and to help assess her needs going forward, my brother and his family live near her in their own home.) She was silent for a moment, then waved her hand airily and said, "Oh, I don't know, there are so many!" At which point I smiled and said, "You own other houses I don't know about?" "What-ever," she grumped, as well as any sullen teenager. :-)

When she gets out of this session of rehab, my brother and his wife are going to move in with her for a couple of months and have a caregiver during the day to help with bathing, etc. since they both work. I think I know, in my heart, that we're looking at some form of assisted living when all is said and done. But I'm still stunned at how rapidly these events have turned her life around, and grieve for the mother that was happy and vibrant just a few months ago. I keep trying to "fix" it, and get her back to where she was in February -- but I'm starting to realize that that woman may be gone forever, and it breaks my heart. Still fighting the good fight as far as getting her aggressive therapy, etc., but trying to figure out whether I'm tilting at windmills and need to accept the new reality, or wondering what stone I've left unturned that could be THE thing that fixes everything.

I don't share this to hijack your thread, but I was struck by the similarities, especially the non-eating. We're still working on that, too. She likes all the bad, sweet stuff, but at this point, calories and protein take precedence, and if that means making ice cream out of Ensure and dribbling caramel sauce over it, then so be it. I share your frustration, KA, and while it might not offer any solid advice, at least you know we understand completely.
WOW. The similarities are amazing. No, you're not hijacking my thread at all - I appreciate you sharing your story, because sometimes I wonder if I am just being unreasonable or exaggerating things in my mind or something. I mean, I know I'm really not but sometimes I wish I WAS doing that so I could change and things could get better. But they just keep getting worse.
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Old 05-04-2016, 03:19 AM
 
3,737 posts, read 9,571,965 times
Reputation: 6958
My MIL is 84 and just had 5 days in the hospital for severe bronchitis. Her big complaint after coming home is that she does not taste food like before. She says has to force herself to eat since so much tastes like cardboard. I wonder if it was some of the antibiotics. She too likes and can taste the sweet stuff but thankfully does not buy it.
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Old 05-04-2016, 07:49 AM
 
Location: Wonderland
44,307 posts, read 35,852,560 times
Reputation: 62671
Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetana3 View Post
My MIL is 84 and just had 5 days in the hospital for severe bronchitis. Her big complaint after coming home is that she does not taste food like before. She says has to force herself to eat since so much tastes like cardboard. I wonder if it was some of the antibiotics. She too likes and can taste the sweet stuff but thankfully does not buy it.
I think it's a pretty common thing for elderly people to lose some of their sense of taste and smell, and I'm sure that contributes to a lack of appetite.

This doesn't seem to be the core issue with my mom, though. My mom has been diagnosed with an eating disorder, which is psychological at it's root.
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