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Old 05-05-2016, 09:12 AM
 
Location: somewhere
4,264 posts, read 8,132,380 times
Reputation: 3143

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Luvvarkansas View Post
Same situation here...MIL withdrew from life after FIL died. She's always been a big baby, and FIL's dying just made that crystal clear to everyone (I already knew it, of course...lol). DD calls her "The Rain Cloud".

My mom, OTOH, is 77 and just went on a trip to the mountains with us (and our kids) in April, and hiked some pretty steep trails with us. She drove a lot of the way also (we went in her van). Oh, she hurts and is tired and achy, all the things that old people are, but she presses on.

Now my mother in law is fantastic, will turn 76 tomorrow, has arthritis really bad but she goes to the gym 3 days a week, goes on bus trips with her best friend, she and my FIL (who by the way has just as many health issues as my Mom) have several circle of friends that they go out and eat out with, they are both living life to the fullest.
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Old 05-05-2016, 09:13 AM
 
10,604 posts, read 14,106,986 times
Reputation: 17197
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon View Post
OK, update - pretty good news overall, if my dad can stick to it:

1. Mom's meds have been changed - now she's basically only on Seroquel and various vitamins to address her malnutrition. She's been eating a bit better but I think she still has lost a pound or two in the past two weeks.

2. She was in a better mood - well, perhaps. She was very aware that she was in a meeting with the doctors and staff and was definitely on her best behavior in front of them. That degraded away from them but more on that in a bit.

3. She is going to be released to home next week. They are lining up Intensive Outpatient treatment at a local behavioral health hospital - they will actually come and pick her up three times a week for three hours at a time. That is going to be interesting. I am pretty sure she is going to be very resistant to that so it will be interesting to see if my dad "enforces" that. The thing is, he does have the power to do so - but he also has a 50 plus year history of letting her do whatever she wants and avoiding conflict with her. He swears now that he's going to be firm, so we'll see.

4. They are also lining up in home physical therapy twice a week - see hopes and fears above.

She was still in a wheelchair (which her doctor has told her repeatedly to get out of - to use a walker and GET OUT OF THE WHEELCHAIR) and she literally began crying and pleading when my dad brought in the walker and the staff FINALLY took the wheelchair away from her. OMG. This fixation with being in a wheelchair (which she's had for at least 8 years) is so strange. She was so angry when that walker was brought in. Furious in fact.

Anyway, we'll see how things go when she gets home next week.

Seroquel is a very serious antipsychotic medication that will have very serious side effects.

Seroquel is NOT INDICATED with dementia.

Read the literature.

Your mother has a SERIOUS mental health condition/problem if they prescribed it.

FURTHERMORE, Seroquel will make her MUSCLES WEAK, just for ONE adverse reaction....hence the emotional response to the wheelchair power struggle. That muscle damage can lead to kidney failure, just sayin'...

There is also the issue of needing her LEVELS to get regulated before the symptoms stabilize. It's not unusual for a patient to sleep nonstop for two days at first.

You are in for a wild ride more than you can imagine. The use of Seroquel is what killed my client within two months, although she probably also had underlying leukemia which was difficult to diagnose. The adverse reactions were aspiration pneumonia, kidney failure, lack of motility, physical weakness, extreme dry mouth and INABILITY TO EAT from the loosening of the esophagus muscle, and choking. But of course nobody MINDED because she stopped being annoying.

The medication was prescribed by a Geriatric GP not a Psychiatrist or Neurologist.

I've written briefly about her story here before.

Apparently "her doctor" is clueless. OR he told you all this.

AGAIN, I encourage you to STOP FOCUSING on her PAST and your interpersonal issues and understand her CLINICAL PROBLEMS - if you're going to continue to be involved.

I don't understand why they didn't send her to a rehabilitation facility for PHYSICAL THERAPY but I guess her MENTAL ILLNESS is such that she's not a candidate.

Essentially your mom is being sedated to keep her from annoying people. If you were to go to a Memory Care facility you'd see MANY MANY people just like her. In wheelchairs.

Last edited by runswithscissors; 05-05-2016 at 09:30 AM..
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Old 05-05-2016, 09:17 AM
 
Location: somewhere
4,264 posts, read 8,132,380 times
Reputation: 3143
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon View Post
OK, update - pretty good news overall, if my dad can stick to it:

1. Mom's meds have been changed - now she's basically only on Seroquel and various vitamins to address her malnutrition. She's been eating a bit better but I think she still has lost a pound or two in the past two weeks.

2. She was in a better mood - well, perhaps. She was very aware that she was in a meeting with the doctors and staff and was definitely on her best behavior in front of them. That degraded away from them but more on that in a bit.

3. She is going to be released to home next week. They are lining up Intensive Outpatient treatment at a local behavioral health hospital - they will actually come and pick her up three times a week for three hours at a time. That is going to be interesting. I am pretty sure she is going to be very resistant to that so it will be interesting to see if my dad "enforces" that. The thing is, he does have the power to do so - but he also has a 50 plus year history of letting her do whatever she wants and avoiding conflict with her. He swears now that he's going to be firm, so we'll see.

4. They are also lining up in home physical therapy twice a week - see hopes and fears above.

She was still in a wheelchair (which her doctor has told her repeatedly to get out of - to use a walker and GET OUT OF THE WHEELCHAIR) and she literally began crying and pleading when my dad brought in the walker and the staff FINALLY took the wheelchair away from her. OMG. This fixation with being in a wheelchair (which she's had for at least 8 years) is so strange. She was so angry when that walker was brought in. Furious in fact.

Anyway, we'll see how things go when she gets home next week.
Your dad sounds an awful lot like my dad was with my mother. What is really bad is that they don't realize that their inability or unwillingess to push the issue and demand compliance, impedes their loved ones progress to lead a better life. I was shocked to hear my mother tell me that after her first knee replacement she didn't do the exercises she was supposed to do at home because she didn't want to and since he didn't want to upset her, he didn't push the issue.

Hopefully your dad realizes the seriousness of your moms condition and will follow through and in essence force her compliance.
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Old 05-05-2016, 09:55 AM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
7,354 posts, read 4,508,064 times
Reputation: 26892
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon View Post
She has been trying for years to get a wheelchair - she has a concept in her mind (which is not a logical concept, but there it is anyway) that being wheeled around in a wheelchair is sort of grand. She gets to look like a brave victim who is catered to by her husband, sitting in a wheelchair.
Bingo!

This is what I thought when you first mentioned the wheelchair. From everything I've read, your mom is a controlling woman who has an iron grip on her self-image. Old, crippled people use walkers to hobble along. She will never agree to use one, I bet. Or even one of those four-footed canes. Oh, the horror.

But from time to time you see young, beautiful people in wheelchairs, victims of illness. Now that's the ticket.

Quote:
It's the strangest thing.
It isn't, really. I'm sorry to say it but I think she will die before choosing to live on anyone else's terms.
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Old 05-05-2016, 11:05 AM
 
3,114 posts, read 1,627,697 times
Reputation: 8517
Quote:
Originally Posted by runswithscissors View Post
Seroquel is a very serious antipsychotic medication that will have very serious side effects.

Seroquel is NOT INDICATED with dementia.

Read the literature.

Your mother has a SERIOUS mental health condition/problem if they prescribed it.

FURTHERMORE, Seroquel will make her MUSCLES WEAK, just for ONE adverse reaction....hence the emotional response to the wheelchair power struggle. That muscle damage can lead to kidney failure, just sayin'...

There is also the issue of needing her LEVELS to get regulated before the symptoms stabilize. It's not unusual for a patient to sleep nonstop for two days at first.

You are in for a wild ride more than you can imagine. The use of Seroquel is what killed my client within two months, although she probably also had underlying leukemia which was difficult to diagnose. The adverse reactions were aspiration pneumonia, kidney failure, lack of motility, physical weakness, extreme dry mouth and INABILITY TO EAT from the loosening of the esophagus muscle, and choking. But of course nobody MINDED because she stopped being annoying.

The medication was prescribed by a Geriatric GP not a Psychiatrist or Neurologist.

I've written briefly about her story here before.

Apparently "her doctor" is clueless. OR he told you all this.

AGAIN, I encourage you to STOP FOCUSING on her PAST and your interpersonal issues and understand her CLINICAL PROBLEMS - if you're going to continue to be involved.

I don't understand why they didn't send her to a rehabilitation facility for PHYSICAL THERAPY but I guess her MENTAL ILLNESS is such that she's not a candidate.

Essentially your mom is being sedated to keep her from annoying people. If you were to go to a Memory Care facility you'd see MANY MANY people just like her. In wheelchairs.
My mother was put on Seroquel 8 years ago for her dementia symptoms, prescribed by a very well respected neurologist and Alzheimers expert, with no I'll edfects. She still eats well to this day.
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Old 05-05-2016, 11:49 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,849 posts, read 17,145,327 times
Reputation: 40605
Quote:
Originally Posted by runswithscissors View Post
Seroquel is a very serious antipsychotic medication that will have very serious side effects.

Seroquel is NOT INDICATED with dementia.

Read the literature.

Your mother has a SERIOUS mental health condition/problem if they prescribed it.

FURTHERMORE, Seroquel will make her MUSCLES WEAK, just for ONE adverse reaction....hence the emotional response to the wheelchair power struggle. That muscle damage can lead to kidney failure, just sayin'...

There is also the issue of needing her LEVELS to get regulated before the symptoms stabilize. It's not unusual for a patient to sleep nonstop for two days at first.

You are in for a wild ride more than you can imagine. The use of Seroquel is what killed my client within two months, although she probably also had underlying leukemia which was difficult to diagnose. The adverse reactions were aspiration pneumonia, kidney failure, lack of motility, physical weakness, extreme dry mouth and INABILITY TO EAT from the loosening of the esophagus muscle, and choking. But of course nobody MINDED because she stopped being annoying.

The medication was prescribed by a Geriatric GP not a Psychiatrist or Neurologist.

I've written briefly about her story here before.

Apparently "her doctor" is clueless. OR he told you all this.

AGAIN, I encourage you to STOP FOCUSING on her PAST and your interpersonal issues and understand her CLINICAL PROBLEMS - if you're going to continue to be involved.

I don't understand why they didn't send her to a rehabilitation facility for PHYSICAL THERAPY but I guess her MENTAL ILLNESS is such that she's not a candidate.

Essentially your mom is being sedated to keep her from annoying people. If you were to go to a Memory Care facility you'd see MANY MANY people just like her. In wheelchairs.
Quote:
Originally Posted by wasel View Post
My mother was put on Seroquel 8 years ago for her dementia symptoms, prescribed by a very well respected neurologist and Alzheimers expert, with no I'll edfects. She still eats well to this day.
While I do not know if Seroquel is or is not right for your loved one, I'll share the story of when it was prescribed for my husband.

After only a few days, it lowered his blood pressure so much that he could not walk, stand up or even on a chair or without falling. After he was rushed to the hospital, with dangerously low blood pressure, the ER doctor chastised me for allowing a doctor (ironically, a psychiatrist from the same hospital) to prescribe it to my husband within hours before he was due to be released from the hospital (the first time).

The few days that my husband was on this medication he slept 16 to 20 hours a day and barely ate or drank anything (which may have also effected his blood pressure).

Of course, it may be a great medication for other people.
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Old 05-05-2016, 12:52 PM
 
Location: somewhere
4,264 posts, read 8,132,380 times
Reputation: 3143
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
While I do not know if Seroquel is or is not right for your loved one, I'll share the story of when it was prescribed for my husband.

After only a few days, it lowered his blood pressure so much that he could not walk, stand up or even on a chair or without falling. After he was rushed to the hospital, with dangerously low blood pressure, the ER doctor chastised me for allowing a doctor (ironically, a psychiatrist from the same hospital) to prescribe it to my husband within hours before he was due to be released from the hospital (the first time).

The few days that my husband was on this medication he slept 16 to 20 hours a day and barely ate or drank anything (which may have also effected his blood pressure).

Of course, it may be a great medication for other people.

I guess it is a good idea that Kathryns mother will be under the care of a staff of nurses and doctors for another week so as to watch for any side effects.
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Old 05-05-2016, 04:13 PM
 
10,604 posts, read 14,106,986 times
Reputation: 17197
Quote:
Originally Posted by wasel View Post
My mother was put on Seroquel 8 years ago for her dementia symptoms, prescribed by a very well respected neurologist and Alzheimers expert, with no I'll edfects. She still eats well to this day.
Excellent. Happy to hear that.
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Old 05-05-2016, 04:48 PM
 
Location: Ohio
5,626 posts, read 5,015,266 times
Reputation: 6765
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon View Post

But the biggest issue is her eating, or lack thereof. Every meal has been an emotional drain. It is very tiring to try to get an adult who doesn't want to eat, to eat. Every single bite is a major production. In between bites she busies herself with food, but isn't eating it - tapping the plate, cutting things into pieces the size of a fingernail, moving things around. We say, after listening to this incessant tapping and scraping and watching the total lack of productivity for what seems like an hour, "Ok, pick that up and put it in your mouth," and she says, "I AM eating this - can't you see I'm eating?" "No, I see you pushing food around, but not eating." To which she replies to either my dad or me (or both of us), (heavy sigh), "I am trying to enjoy my meal. Clearly I am eating. I wish you wouldn't harass me. There is nothing wrong with the way I eat." At that point, she ups the drama level - dramatic gestures as she brings the fork (with a tiny morsel of food on it) to her lips, drops the piece of food, taps around on the plate again, manages to get a piece to hang on the end of a fork prong, slowly brings it back up to her mouth, grimaces as she puts it to her lips - OMG, it is maddening. It's as if we're trying to force her to eat toxic waste!!!!
THIS^^ I can relate to with our youngest daughter. It is like pulling teeth and beyond frustrating. No one seems to have an answer and all while the dr just looks at you and says " try this and try that" when you want punch them!

" They wont starve themselves "-- apparently these people havent met your mom or my daughter!
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Old 05-05-2016, 05:01 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,849 posts, read 17,145,327 times
Reputation: 40605
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohky0815 View Post
THIS^^ I can relate to with our youngest daughter. It is like pulling teeth and beyond frustrating. No one seems to have an answer and all while the dr just looks at you and says " try this and try that" when you want punch them!

" They wont starve themselves "-- apparently these people havent met your mom or my daughter!
What!!!!! I can not believe a doctor would actually say that. Yes, they can starve themselves.

It is not that unusual for people with anorexia to actually die from starvation & complications related to starvation.

I once knew someone who allowed herself seven Cheerios for breakfast. Not seven ounces or seven spoonfuls but seven actual Cheerios! If she had eight Cheerios she would force herself to throw up so she would not become obese. Thankfully, she started to receive treatment before it was too late and before her organs started to shut down.

I am so sorry Ohky. Keep on looking for a better doctor.
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