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Old 05-25-2016, 05:22 PM
 
Location: Wonderland
44,300 posts, read 35,841,586 times
Reputation: 62649

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Quote:
Originally Posted by wasel View Post
If your dad is refusing to take "responsibility" for your mom's meds and eating, I think you really have no choice but to inform him that you're going to hire a nurse to come in daily to administer your mom's meds and make sure she eats a meal (at his expense, of course.) Seriously. That's really all you can do.

It doesn't even have to be a confrontational thing. Just more of a "hey, Dad, I know this all must be overwhelming for you. But it's really important that these meds are taken consistently, otherwise they can do harm. So I've decided to get a nurse to come in every day to make sure Mom is getting the medication... etc etc."

I know this must be hard on him emotionally so he's reverting to all these "selfish" behaviors (like leaving the meeting to check Internet) but at some point he needs to face this (as you have said). And the way to have him face it is to bring in the professionals to ensure nothing gets screwed up with the meds, and that she is eating.

Heck, you may not have to actually hire anyone...just SAY you're going to do it and maybe that will be the push he needs.

I'm sure this all weighs on you so heavily. It would me.
My mom is eating well, now, thanks to the medication. My dad is gradually getting the hang of administering the meds and catching onto her shenanigans. Honestly, you'd think the man never had teenagers or never was a teenager in his life - he's so naive about some of her behaviors!

It's just that it takes perpetual and ongoing overseeing, which is tiresome. Why, why, why do I have to think about what BOTH of them may or may not do?????? GRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 05-25-2016, 05:25 PM
 
Location: Wonderland
44,300 posts, read 35,841,586 times
Reputation: 62649
Quote:
Originally Posted by forum_browser View Post
Genius. He could lecture people on the Internet about how to be a caregiver. He could also be an online expert on the treatment of elderly female stroke patients with atypical medical profiles.

Seriously, they will probably need to move to an independent apartment in a senior residence that offers graduated levels of care. Your father of course would be at a near-to-zero level and your mother at a fairly low level. Your father will learn that feigned ineptitude is expensive.
Oh, how I wish it was that easy. I cannot MAKE them move to assisted living, unfortunately. And actually, my dad, as you point out, is not in need of it.

But I do like the idea of getting him involved in internet support groups for caregivers. He just doesn't need to find THIS one - LOL!!!!! OMG that would be awful.
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Old 05-25-2016, 07:52 PM
 
3,132 posts, read 1,637,921 times
Reputation: 8573
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon View Post
My mom is eating well, now, thanks to the medication. My dad is gradually getting the hang of administering the meds and catching onto her shenanigans. Honestly, you'd think the man never had teenagers or never was a teenager in his life - he's so naive about some of her behaviors!

It's just that it takes perpetual and ongoing overseeing, which is tiresome. Why, why, why do I have to think about what BOTH of them may or may not do?????? GRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, sorry, my suggestion about the nurse was based on your comments yesterday:

"Dad, you're going to have to hand Mom her medication, and then stand there and watch her swallow it." He literally jumped up, pointed his finger at me, and started to say something. I just looked at him levelly and said, "What?" and he sat back down and crossed his legs and folded his arms.

By "supervise" all I really mean is make sure she takes her meds, and isn't dressed crazy, and has food available to eat and is eating it. THAT'S IT


I'm glad it's going better!
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Old 05-25-2016, 07:54 PM
 
3,132 posts, read 1,637,921 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon View Post
Oh, how I wish it was that easy. I cannot MAKE them move to assisted living, unfortunately. And actually, my dad, as you point out, is not in need of it.

But I do like the idea of getting him involved in internet support groups for caregivers. He just doesn't need to find THIS one - LOL!!!!! OMG that would be awful.
Yes, and let's hope we don't start seeing posts from an elderly gentleman in Texas who asks, "How can I get my daughter to do more of the stuff I don't want to do?"
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Old 05-25-2016, 08:53 PM
 
Location: Wonderland
44,300 posts, read 35,841,586 times
Reputation: 62649
Quote:
Originally Posted by wasel View Post
Oh, sorry, my suggestion about the nurse was based on your comments yesterday:

"Dad, you're going to have to hand Mom her medication, and then stand there and watch her swallow it." He literally jumped up, pointed his finger at me, and started to say something. I just looked at him levelly and said, "What?" and he sat back down and crossed his legs and folded his arms.

By "supervise" all I really mean is make sure she takes her meds, and isn't dressed crazy, and has food available to eat and is eating it. THAT'S IT


I'm glad it's going better!
Well, all I mean is that he seemed to "get" it finally yesterday and today he gave her the meds twice and stood and watched her. I think he just has to realize that we expect him to do this and that it's not asking too much of him.

I think he's still coming to grips with the reality that he has to strong arm her and boss her around - diplomatically of course. He's not used to these dynamics.
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Old 05-25-2016, 08:55 PM
 
Location: Wonderland
44,300 posts, read 35,841,586 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wasel View Post
Yes, and let's hope we don't start seeing posts from an elderly gentleman in Texas who asks, "How can I get my daughter to do more of the stuff I don't want to do?"
LOL you're right about that. Or worse, "My daughter is trying to boss me around but she won't let her mother move in with her. Now I have to deal with both of them every day. How can I do that and still argue theology and politics online all day?"
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Old 05-25-2016, 09:40 PM
 
Location: Gulf Coast
1,150 posts, read 640,791 times
Reputation: 2230
Well, Kathryn, you deserve a medal for going through all this. I just shudder to think what would happen around here if I ever had to rely on DH this way. He's so used to me taking responsibility for everything. I don't think he's ever once asked, "what did the doctor have to say about...". I'm gonna pray hard that never happens in this house.
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Old 01-02-2019, 07:34 AM
 
7,903 posts, read 7,238,587 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pat Answers View Post
I have been given both Levaquin and Cipro. Many times. A dr. once looked into some program and saw everything I'd been given as prescriptions and told me never to take Cipro, but for other reason than the tendon thing. Next time at dr. I mentioned that I can't take that one and he asked me what I can take. He was angry with me that I didn't know, he said I should know. He didn't like that I told him he's the dr. what does he suggest?

Now I do have that straightened out in my mind what I can take. After reading your story Kathryn, I consider myself very lucky that I've never had any problems.

Good luck with your Mother, sounds like a really difficult situation.
The FDA issued new warnings.

https://www.fda.gov/NewsEvents/Newsr..._source=Eloqua

They gave it to my mom about every two weeks in the nursing home for UTIs.

Within two years, the FDA recommended that they should refrain from using cipro.

"In 2016, the FDA enhanced warnings about the association of fluoroquinolones with disabling and potentially permanent side effects involving tendons, muscles, joints, nerves and the central nervous system. Because the risk of these serious side effects generally outweighs the benefits for patients with acute bacterial sinusitis, acute bacterial exacerbation of chronic bronchitis and uncomplicated urinary tract infections, the FDA determined that fluoroquinolones should be reserved for use in patients with these conditions who have no alternative treatment options."

Antibiotics are also well known for adding to dementia or creating temporary delirium in normal patients.

Last edited by lchoro; 01-02-2019 at 07:50 AM..
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Old 01-02-2019, 08:18 AM
 
Location: Wonderland
44,300 posts, read 35,841,586 times
Reputation: 62649
Quote:
Originally Posted by lchoro View Post
The FDA issued new warnings.

https://www.fda.gov/NewsEvents/Newsr..._source=Eloqua

They gave it to my mom about every two weeks in the nursing home for UTIs.

Within two years, the FDA recommended that they should refrain from using cipro.

"In 2016, the FDA enhanced warnings about the association of fluoroquinolones with disabling and potentially permanent side effects involving tendons, muscles, joints, nerves and the central nervous system. Because the risk of these serious side effects generally outweighs the benefits for patients with acute bacterial sinusitis, acute bacterial exacerbation of chronic bronchitis and uncomplicated urinary tract infections, the FDA determined that fluoroquinolones should be reserved for use in patients with these conditions who have no alternative treatment options."

Antibiotics are also well known for adding to dementia or creating temporary delirium in normal patients.
Right - keep spreading the word!
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Old 01-03-2019, 08:13 AM
 
7,903 posts, read 7,238,587 times
Reputation: 6258
Overmedicated for UTIs and the bacteria was drug-resistant anyways, indicating they usually clear on their own

link
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