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I really do not take after my mother's side of the family. I would be shocked if mental illness or dementia is in my future, especially since I've never had any sort of struggle with mental illness, brain disorders, behavioral problems, etc. I'm like a carbon copy of my dad's side of the family and for that I am eternally grateful. That being said, who knows what the future holds. I do think I probably dodged that bullet (unlike my brother, unfortunately). Time will tell but I don't sit around worrying that I'm going to be like this in twenty five years.
I was completely referring to your Mom in that post. You on the other hand appear to be very much in touch with reality. No issue there, from what I can tell.
I was completely referring to your Mom in that post. You on the other hand appear to be very much in touch with reality. No issue there, from what I can tell.
There but for the grace of God go I.
Update: My dad and I visited my mom today. It was a terrible visit. She was sullen, suspicious, angry, frustrated, withdrawn, and oppositional. We meet with the medical team Wednesday. I am not looking forward to that long drive again, which seems to be formulated to depress and frustrate my dad and me and stir my mom's negativity and suspicious nature up.
I'm sorry things have been so tough for you lately, Kathryn. You are a devoted daughter, it's a shame that your mother is so difficult. Still keeping you in my thoughts & prayers.
I'm sorry things have been so tough for you lately, Kathryn. You are a devoted daughter, it's a shame that your mother is so difficult. Still keeping you in my thoughts & prayers.
Thank you. This too shall pass.
Believe it or not, I've been through more difficult times with my mom than this - so far. She has really been a hellion off and on over the years. At least now she's not calling me at 5 am to argue.
But seriously, it's sad to see her suffer and be so unhappy. She is wretched. I can't imagine living in that state of mind.
Believe it or not, I've been through more difficult times with my mom than this - so far. She has really been a hellion off and on over the years. At least now she's not calling me at 5 am to argue.
But seriously, it's sad to see her suffer and be so unhappy. She is wretched. I can't imagine living in that state of mind.
You've not only been given lucidity, but extreme stamina and patience. Next to you, I would sound like a cold-hearted b****. Those 5 a.m. phone calls would not happen because after one or two, I would unplug my phone. My hat is off to you, KA. Seriously.
I only wish things were different for all concerned here.
You've not only been given lucidity, but extreme stamina and patience. Next to you, I would sound like a cold-hearted b****. Those 5 a.m. phone calls would not happen because after one or two, I would unplug my phone. My hat is off to you, KA. Seriously.
I only wish things were different for all concerned here.
LOL Oh I took care of the phone business. But the very idea that someone would actually call raising hell at 5 am is ridiculous. Like I've said, my mother never met a personal boundary that wasn't made for her to roll over with a Sherman tank!
I was truly shocked that she didn't get in her car and drive over to my house to argue when I turned my phone off. I guess that was just too much trouble. She wasn't used to driving to my house anyway, for anything.
Our phone gets turned off here too, but because of a brother-in-law. He's not argumentative, but will call at six in the morning asking for a recipe for turtle soup. He also gives our unlisted number out to any myriad of friends/acquaintances/neighbors who seek my husband's time and advice for all manner of "emergencies".
Didn't mean to hijack your thread; only wanted to vent about dealing with the behavior of some who have never-ending dramas. Thanks!
Wishing you improvement in your situation.
That's what we're hoping too - my gosh. I took a picture of my mom three years ago to show the social worker and she was shocked.
That was an excellent idea. Especially with eating disorders and her significant weight loss the staff may need a constant reminder of what she used to look like. Perhaps you can make a couple of prints, that show your mom at her recent best, add the date, and they can keep them in her medical file.
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I always put several photo enlargements, or photo collages, on the walls when my husband (and other relatives) are in the hospital for several reasons. It is a visual reminder that my husband is a person and not just a name on a chart, they are a conversation starter & ice breaker with staff, plus it reminds my husband that he needs to get better to get home for his family and pets.
The last time (since it was a real emergency) I just took photographs from my purse, had them blown up to 8 by 10 on paper and then laminated at an office supply store. It took less than 15 minutes and lasted through my husband's multiple hospital & rehab stays and very frequent room changes. No matter where he was, he had the same four wonderful photographs to provide continuity.
Perhaps something like this will work for your mom, too.
Good luck.
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