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Laws differ state to state. In New York the bar is set very high. A person has to be judged a danger to himself or others to involuntarily committed.
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IMHO, that is true in all states (that you have to be a danger to your self or others to have an involuntary commitment -such as a 72 hour psychiatric hold) however sometimes it can be interpreted somewhat loosely.
One story that I heard was someone who was drunk and morose after their spouse left them and they were picked up driving drunk. The police were ready to let him go (have someone pick him up from the police station) and he said something like "I can't go on living without Susie!" and that triggered a short term psychiatric placement. The police told my friend that if they hear certain key phrases they are required to do a placement to error on the side of caution, to prevent a possible suicide or homicide.
Other questions relate to access to guns and things like that.
While I am NOT saying that the OP, or others, should lie. But sometimes people put on their"rose colored glasses" and assume everything will be OK when in all likelihood it may not be OK. We do not know if the OP is truly afraid or is truly in danger. In fact, this is so new for the OP that she may not even know whether or not she is in real danger. Damage to the brain can cause people to act in ways that are very "out of character" for them pre-injury or pre-illness.
Perhaps, the OP's spouse may need only an evaluation at a regular hospital. Even something as simple as a UTI or pneumonia or other infection in the body, combined with dementia, can cause extreme confusion.
In fact, sometimes the only symptom of the infection is the increased confusion or "wild ideas".
Anyway, OP, good luck, we wish you well.
Last edited by germaine2626; 04-07-2016 at 07:08 AM..
VaCat - you can't do this alone! I am getting more and more concerned about your safety. Please check into your options. I think you may need to have him involuntarily committed.
Please please please don't start gathering up his stuff and packing it up while you're alone with him. This can't be good.
Call his doc and ask about taking him to the ER perhaps? Or even just a script for a sedative. We had to do this with my Mom a few times and almost always she was dehydrated and/or had a kidney infection. They gave her some get meds and put her on an IV and kept her over night. This went on for about 6 years before she needed to be in a long term care facility.
Yes, thats right. He wants me to drive him to Gander Mountain to buy him a tent and a sleeping bag and he is going to "walk away".
I'll go with him. Shoot, there are times when *I* just want to 'walk away' from it all too.
In fact, I would be inclined to suggest that many people have similar feelings when problems seem overwhelming and there do not appear to be any easy, immediate methods of solving them. Some people actually do it.
Heck, there was a time about 10 years ago when I packed a few clothes in the saddle-bags of my bike, strapped a tent and a sleeping-bag on the back and went off down the road. After a couple of weeks, my wife started asking if I was ever coming back (when I'd call her on the phone)...and I'd say "I don't know, I'm kind of enjoying this." I was gone for more than a month. And I really *did* enjoy it, just cruising the countryside between New England and Texas. Of course, I didn't really intend to never go back, but the temptation was certainly there.
It sounds like he feels that he no longer has any control of his life and everything has turned to crap. 'Walking away' would return a measure of control, to be able to choose his own direction.
Obviously, I don't know the whole story, but it might be helpful if you were to look at in in that light, and be sympathetic to what he's feeling, and take that into account.
The ER might be a good option, unless you can get his doctor to see him right away.
My dad went through a stage where he wanted to run away and wanted to divorce my mother and threatened to call the police, the FBI and anyone else he could think of. Then he went through a stage where he cried all the time and said he wanted to die. Then he went through a mean and grouchy stage where he was chasing family members around and screaming horrible things at them. Medication has been the answer to all of his problems. Sometimes as the stage he's in changes, his medications have to be adjusted. He sees a geriatrician who seems to be really good at treating the different problems that come up. Right now my dad is taking an antidepressant, zanax, buspar, and an antipsychotic, plus another medication that's supposed to keep him from crying all the time. It sounds like a lot of meds but it makes it possible for us to be around him and he seems less unhappy than he did before.
One thing you may have to start doing is going in with him when he sees his doctors, because he may not remember what he needs to discuss with them, may not feel that it's really a problem, may not be comfortable discussing his depression with the doctor, or may not remember what they told him to do or change, if they tell him to change something. My mom used to let my dad see the doctor by himself and insisted that he didn't have memory problems because the doctor didn't say anything about memory problems, but eventually she couldn't pretend it wasn't a problem and when she talked to Dad's doctor, she said she had been talking to him about the memory problems for a couple of years.
The ER might be a good option, unless you can get his doctor to see him right away.
My dad went through a stage where he wanted to run away and wanted to divorce my mother and threatened to call the police, the FBI and anyone else he could think of. Then he went through a stage where he cried all the time and said he wanted to die. Then he went through a mean and grouchy stage where he was chasing family members around and screaming horrible things at them. Medication has been the answer to all of his problems. Sometimes as the stage he's in changes, his medications have to be adjusted. He sees a geriatrician who seems to be really good at treating the different problems that come up. Right now my dad is taking an antidepressant, zanax, buspar, and an antipsychotic, plus another medication that's supposed to keep him from crying all the time. It sounds like a lot of meds but it makes it possible for us to be around him and he seems less unhappy than he did before.
Just to give you an idea of what may be "normal" for someone who has dementia.
My husband is on two anti-depressants, one tranquiller (three times a day) plus a mood stabilizer (twice a day) every day and he is NOT drugged up or drowsy. He also has a prescription for "emergency" tranquilizers which I am in charge of giving him..
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom
One thing you may have to start doing is going in with him when he sees his doctors, because he may not remember what he needs to discuss with them, may not feel that it's really a problem, may not be comfortable discussing his depression with the doctor, or may not remember what they told him to do or change, if they tell him to change something. My mom used to let my dad see the doctor by himself and insisted that he didn't have memory problems because the doctor didn't say anything about memory problems, but eventually she couldn't pretend it wasn't a problem and when she talked to Dad's doctor, she said she had been talking to him about the memory problems for a couple of years.
My husband's geriatric psychiatrist insists that I participate in part or all of each of their appointments. I have attended ALL of his other doctor's appointments for years.
Call his doctor and explain how bad it is and ask for ideas.
If you are concerned about your safety or his safety, at any time, call 911 and request the police. Note: if you just call an ambulance the ambulance staff will probably need to wait until the police arrive if he is combative.
At least in my state they will normally put the person on a 72 hour psychiatric hold. That will at least give the doctor time to start him on appropriate medication and explain more about his disability.
I am sorry. Good luck.
I may have missed this in an earlier post. Does your husband have any relatives? Perhaps, a sibling? Now, is the time to call and say "I need help. Please come immediately"
I would only do that if he is really out of control(as in destroying the house). Depending on where the OP lives the police may not be trained well to deal with mental issues. It's a good way to end up with someone shot or killed.
I would enlist help of family, contact the doctor.
And if he does get out control and the OP feels she needs to call 911 be as specific as possible as to what he is doing, and if there are any guns in the house make sure he can't get access.
Sorry you're going through this OP, but I would only involve the police as a last resort.
Call his doctor and explain how bad it is and ask for ideas.
If you are concerned about your safety or his safety, at any time, call 911 and request the police. Note: if you just call an ambulance the ambulance staff will probably need to wait until the police arrive if he is combative.
At least in my state they will normally put the person on a 72 hour psychiatric hold. That will at least give the doctor time to start him on appropriate medication and explain more about his disability.
I am sorry. Good luck.
I may have missed this in an earlier post. Does your husband have any relatives? Perhaps, a sibling? Now, is the time to call and say "I need help. Please come immediately"
Quote:
Originally Posted by seain dublin
I would only do that if he is really out of control(as in destroying the house). Depending on where the OP lives the police may not be trained well to deal with mental issues. It's a good way to end up with someone shot or killed.
I would enlist help of family, contact the doctor.
And if he does get out control and the OP feels she needs to call 911 be as specific as possible as to what he is doing, and if there are any guns in the house make sure he can't get access.
Sorry you're going through this OP, but I would only involve the police as a last resort.
I probably should have made it more clear. Do not call 911 unless it is a last resort. Frankly, I am shocked at how many people who are mentally ill are killed by the police (although, it is more likely to happen on the street rather than in someone's home).
However, OP if you truly are afraid that someone will be harmed or possibly be killed, IMHO, you need to call the police and not just "hope for the best".
This person has frontal lobe dementia and is certainly not of sound mind. That is why his wife is in such a difficult predicament and is posting on the Caregiving forum.
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