I'm not doing enough

[petch751]

Originally Posted by Ms. Anony Mous

My husband is currently in a semi-coma from kidney failure. He went into ICU on 4/1 and on 4/15 was transferred to a Long Term Acute Care facility about an hour from home. He's on a ventilator and there are no LTAC's close to home that have ventilator units. I don't have any transportation and had to rent a car to go visit him twice since he's been there.

When I visited him, I felt like the facility and staff were adequate, but now I'm having doubts because his daughter who is a CNA is insisting that he's not getting proper care and won't get it unless someone is there at all times as his advocate. I've also read some of the horror stories on this forum and now I'm worried about what type of treatment or lack of he's getting because I'm not there 24/7 to advocate for him.

The doctor and respiratory therapists have said that once he is able to be weaned off the ventilator he can be moved closer to home, but right now his condition hasn't changed much since he went into the ICU. Everyone seems to think I'm not doing enough and I should be there so I can advocate for him and report how he's doing. I don't know. I'm so tired right now I can't even think straight.

First, who is everyone? Why don't they help? I've worked in ICU, I've worked in, long term ventilator care, I've worked in medical care for over 20 years. Let me tell you the nurses do everything they can to help your husband. They are monitoring him and treating him then monitoring him and treating, recovery is not an overnight thing. Also know that they know that the best thing for him is to get him off the ventilator as soon as he is able to breath sufficiently on his own. But they won't wean him completely until it's time. The last thing they want is for him to become vent dependent.

Your daughter, this is her father and naturally she wants someone there at all times. But remember, she does not have the knowledge of a nurse of a respiratory therapist. If she feels that someone has to be there at all times then she needs to contribute.

This reminds me of a time when a girl who worked at mcDonald tried telling me how to do my job. I'm not saying you're daughter doesn't know a lot more than a McD worker but ...

I will admit that the nurse to patient ratio has changed since Hillarycare though so I have mixed feelings, t's not the good ole days anymore. Just be there as much as you can at the same time, you need rest, other family members are welcome to sit but don't get in the way. This is a very stressful time.

[Rubi3]

Originally Posted by petch751

First, who is everyone? Why don't they help? I've worked in ICU, I've worked in, long term ventilator care, I've worked in medical care for over 20 years. Let me tell you the nurses do everything they can to help your husband. They are monitoring him and treating him then monitoring him and treating, recovery is not an overnight thing. Also know that they know that the best thing for him is to get him off the ventilator as soon as he is able to breath sufficiently on his own. But they won't wean him completely until it's time. The last thing they want is for him to become vent dependent.

Your daughter, this is her father and naturally she wants someone there at all times. But remember, she does not have the knowledge of a nurse of a respiratory therapist. If she feels that someone has to be there at all times then she needs to contribute.

This reminds me of a time when a girl who worked at mcDonald tried telling me how to do my job. I'm not saying you're daughter doesn't know a lot more than a McD worker but ...

I will admit that the nurse to patient ratio has changed since Hillarycare though so I have mixed feelings, t's not the good ole days anymore. Just be there as much as you can at the same time, you need rest, other family members are welcome to sit but don't get in the way. This is a very stressful time.

??? The daughter is a step-daughter. Many people say "everyone" when they don't mean everyone. I think the op means everyone in the family because she makes it clear she thinks the staff is doing a good job.

[wasel]

Family members sometimes get in the way of good care. Last week my dad, bless him, was worried because my mother seemed very lethargic and sleepy. Didn't want to eat. (She is in a nursing home).

The nurses said it was not a concern -- that is is that way at times because of her condition (Alzheimer's). But my dad was not convinced. He "assumed" it was a UTI infection causing this "because I've seen her this way before with a UTI."

The nurses said she didn't show any other signs of UTI. However, my dad demanded that they give her an antibiotic anyway as well as a very painful/invasive catheter urine sample to do the culture. (The staff said they could not give an antibiotic without a culture, which I agree with.)

Bless his heart, I know he cares about my mom and he wanted SOMETHING DONE but in fact he was making a huge deal over nothing. I went to see Mom 3 hours later and she was normal. I told them to cancel the urine culture. Whatever it was had passed...I suspect she had a headache that was making her feel so crappy earlier that day.

Sometimes professionals do know best. Family members get too emotional. There is also a bias toward assuming all caregivers are NOT doing their job as opposed to DOING their job. Yes, I know some caregiviers aren't good but I think you'll find that most ARE good at their job.