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It is an uphill battle. My MIL is 92 years old, still lives in her own home independently but my BIL is nearby.
She has some health issues but nothing out of the ordinary for a 92 year old. However, she is mentally sharp (for her age); does Thai Chi a couple of times a week with a group, and goes to a nearby gym to work with weight machines. So lack of food is definitely not affecting her ability to be physically active.
She doesn't eat much. She usually eats breakfast, but the rest of the day is hit or miss. She does seem to drink plenty of fluids, although I believe she drinks too much coffee.
The family is constantly pushing her to eat more. My other BIL just visited her and bought her a whole bunch of food from Costco to freeze. I have no idea if she will actually eat it. My guess is that she will pull it out of the freezer when one of us visits.
Her reason is that she just doesn't feel hungry and doesn't have an appetite. She said her tastebuds are diminishing (a fact that has been told to me by a dietician who specializes in seniors).
I have decided that I am going to stop bugging her about it. She is 92, living on her terms and isn't that what we all say we want to do? It seems like these discussions always turn into arguments.
If she starts to "sound funny" or loses energy I will start to bug her again.
She's 92, living independently. She has obviously done an excellent job taking care of herself.
Does she have a geriatric doctor as her primary care doctor? If so, I would consider accompanying her to her next appointment, and bringing up the topic. Her explanations of why she is eating less are very, very common. Let the doctor talk with her about it. The doctor can decide if she is getting enough nutrition. The solution is NOT buying a ton of food that she doesn't want from Costco. Sometimes it is as small as adding an Ensure drink at lunch, dinner.
Costco is just so not the right place to get what she might need. Might be fine for a big family with someone who wants to cook but generally their large quantities are hard for the two of us to use.
It is an uphill battle. My MIL is 92 years old, still lives in her own home independently but my BIL is nearby.
She has some health issues but nothing out of the ordinary for a 92 year old. However, she is mentally sharp (for her age); does Thai Chi a couple of times a week with a group, and goes to a nearby gym to work with weight machines. So lack of food is definitely not affecting her ability to be physically active.
She doesn't eat much. She usually eats breakfast, but the rest of the day is hit or miss. She does seem to drink plenty of fluids, although I believe she drinks too much coffee.
The family is constantly pushing her to eat more. My other BIL just visited her and bought her a whole bunch of food from Costco to freeze. I have no idea if she will actually eat it. My guess is that she will pull it out of the freezer when one of us visits.
Her reason is that she just doesn't feel hungry and doesn't have an appetite. She said her tastebuds are diminishing (a fact that has been told to me by a dietician who specializes in seniors).
I have decided that I am going to stop bugging her about it. She is 92, living on her terms and isn't that what we all say we want to do? It seems like these discussions always turn into arguments.
If she starts to "sound funny" or loses energy I will start to bug her again.
Your mother in law sounds like a really cool lady! I hope I can still go to the gym at 92!
I think you are doing the right thing by backing off a bit. She sounds like she is in good health and in good hands.
My mother is 89 and she doesn't eat much and other than breakfast most of what she does eat is baked goods or candy. She lives with me and I was constantly preparing healthy meals for her (stuff she always ate before) but she turns her nose up at all my efforts.
I got tired if the arguments and spoke to her doctor about the issue. The doctor told me, "She's lived almost 90 years eating no vegetables and too many sweets. Leave her alone." The problem to me is, she is unable to shop for herself so I am forced to buy these unhealthy things she wants. She has gone down two clothing sizes in the past year and I feel really guilty. But I can't make her do what she doesn't want to do. If she didn't eat junk she wouldn't eat much of anything.
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
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When my MIL was 94, her food intake dropped drastically. By 95 she was barely eating at all, and taking supplements but losing weight fast. The doctors advised that there was nothing we could do, and about 3 months later she passed. I'm not saying that is what will happen in your case, but at that age they have had a long, full life and if not eating makes them happy, we should respect that, despite the likely ultimate outcome. Perhaps it's just their way of slowing down to the end.
In our case she did still remain alert to the last week or so when we couldn't be sure if she knew who we were, a very sad time, but when the end came she was ready and we were as prepared as one can be.
Get her something to eat with her coffee or tea. That may stimulate her to eat. I purchase green teas, but I also pick up muffins, crackers, tea cookies, chips, or trail mixes she can eat whenever she wants or when she eats less than the whole meal. I get her the Kirkland's trail mix (and throw out the M&M's). Lately, she's eating the Rice Krispie's treats once or twice a day and the Ritz crackers. She'll eat the crackers as-is, with ham and lettuce, or with some spread, such as tuna, chicken salad, or peanut butter. I think Costco's also has the platters with the little sandwiches she can eat whenever she wants. I would just introduce something new every few months.
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