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How quickly things change and you have to adjust all over again!
Just a couple thoughts - your mother may be bipolar and is getting a little manicky - that doesn't always come out as a happy mood. It can be signaled by agitation and anger, nervous energy, etc. A little may be welcome, but too much is just as bad as depression and lethargy.
Also - regarding the stove specifically - can you take the knobs off when it's not being used by your father - he can put them in a kitchen drawer. You'll need to get very creative - maybe use some "baby-proofing" items - lock cabinets, etc.
Egads I just realized that when I take my dad to the hospital for his day surgery, my mom will be alone at the house all day. I'm not sure this is a good idea. My husband will be out of town working so he can't help. My daughter who lives close by is the one who's being a complete jerk, so I can't expect her to help and frankly I'm not about to ask her. If she bothers to call my parents, she will find out that this is an upcoming event, and it will be interesting to note whether or not she offers to help (I'm not holding my breath).
This is a pretty serious logistical issue. Hmmmm. My brother was talking about coming for another visit soon. Maybe he can come down for that. The last time my dad had this surgery, he did not respond well to it. He was sick as a dog after the surgery, and then got a raging, very serious UTI afterwards and had to be taken back to the hospital two days later, in terrible shape.
Ugh. This is probably going to be difficult.
Can't she start going to her day center 5 days per week? Or can they accommodate her once in a while on tuesday and thursday in a pinch? Sounds like it would be her favorite option.
And yes, have your brother come down for the surgery.
Ugh. I know my dad is going to have to get more proactive about all this, but he is very resistant. For instance, when I walked in the other day, the first thing I noticed was the heavy smell of a burning, empty skillet on a raging burner. I immediately went into the kitchen and said "Do you know that burner is on?" or something like that to my mom. Here comes my dad, from the back of the house - but the whole house reeked of scorched skillet. He said, "Hey there - what's going on?" and I said, "The burner was on under an empty skillet - can't you smell that?"
Both my parents just looked at me like I was speaking Greek.
Can't she start going to her day center 5 days per week? Or can they accommodate her once in a while on tuesday and thursday in a pinch? Sounds like it would be her favorite option.
And yes, have your brother come down for the surgery.
Unfortunately, no. It's not a day center - it's an outpatient psychiatric center and they only have "group" on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. That's a shame because she really enjoys going there.
How quickly things change and you have to adjust all over again!
Just a couple thoughts - your mother may be bipolar and is getting a little manicky - that doesn't always come out as a happy mood. It can be signaled by agitation and anger, nervous energy, etc. A little may be welcome, but too much is just as bad as depression and lethargy.
Also - regarding the stove specifically - can you take the knobs off when it's not being used by your father - he can put them in a kitchen drawer. You'll need to get very creative - maybe use some "baby-proofing" items - lock cabinets, etc.
I really think that this happy mood is just that - a good reaction to the mood stabilizing meds, as well as her moving past caring that she's descending into dementia. I know that sounds sad, but I think it's true. I think that was really getting to her when she was fighting it and very defensive about it and scared, but now I think she has forgotten that she has dementia, if that makes sense.
I will have to really take a hard look at that stove next time I'm over there. I'm not sure how those knobs work - Good grief, what if it's all digital?
I really think that this happy mood is just that - a good reaction to the mood stabilizing meds, as well as her moving past caring that she's descending into dementia. I know that sounds sad, but I think it's true. I think that was really getting to her when she was fighting it and very defensive about it and scared, but now I think she has forgotten that she has dementia, if that makes sense.
I will have to really take a hard look at that stove next time I'm over there. I'm not sure how those knobs work - Good grief, what if it's all digital?
Yes, it sounds like she has moved past the suspicious and hostile stage where she knew something was off but threw the blame on others. So glad for you that the drugs have helped so much and she loves going to the group activities - that is a godsend!
Good luck with the stove issue and hopefully the knobs can be removed for safety. It always happens that one issue seems to improve when another pops up!
If you have to, disconnect the stove. But maybe, if the stove has knobs, you can direct your dad to pull the knobs off and keep them off (hidden) unless he needs to cook. Your mom should not be cooking. It is too dangerous.
Make sure they have a fire extinguisher in the kitchen and talk to your dad about it and how to use. (Point it at the fire and pull the trigger.)
As you've pointed out several times, your dad is in denial about the severity of your mom's condition.
Is your mom taking Aricept or Namenda? Those are the meds my mom was given for her dementia.
If you have to, disconnect the stove. But maybe, if the stove has knobs, you can direct your dad to pull the knobs off and keep them off (hidden) unless he needs to cook. Your mom should not be cooking. It is too dangerous.
Make sure they have a fire extinguisher in the kitchen and talk to your dad about it and how to use. (Point it at the fire and pull the trigger.)
As you've pointed out several times, your dad is in denial about the severity of your mom's condition.
Is your mom taking Aricept or Namenda? Those are the meds my mom was given for her dementia.
Yes, she's taking Aricept.
They do have a fire extinguisher and my dad knows how to use it. So does, well did, my mom.
He doesn't want to have a confrontation with her - as usual, for like the past 60 years. So I doubt he's going to make it where she can't cook, because she makes her breakfast every morning on that stove.
Your dad could pull the breaker so the stove won't come on if the knobs won't come off.
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