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How wonderful is that!?! I LOVED Mr. Selfridge! Good for you, KA!
Tomorrow things crank up again but today was absolutely great. I am half way through "Mr Selfridge" and am totally hooked! I may stay up late tonight and finish the whole thing.
I also got my diffuser out and put in some essential oils like rosemary and basil and vetiver because those are invigorating, energizing oils. Wow, maybe it's psychological, but talk about refreshing! I feel very rested and good and ready to face the rest of the week.
Plus all my laundry is clean and it smells great so that's always a plus! The Texas sun can be a challenge, but at least my clothes were dry in literally about half an hour! I love the smell of line dried clothes.
Tomorrow things crank up again but today was absolutely great. I am half way through "Mr Selfridge" and am totally hooked! I may stay up late tonight and finish the whole thing.
I also got my diffuser out and put in some essential oils like rosemary and basil and vetiver because those are invigorating, energizing oils. Wow, maybe it's psychological, but talk about refreshing! I feel very rested and good and ready to face the rest of the week.
Plus all my laundry is clean and it smells great so that's always a plus! The Texas sun can be a challenge, but at least my clothes were dry in literally about half an hour! I love the smell of line dried clothes.
I did the same thing today and you're right...it's awesome to have fresh clean clothes. Then I realized around 4 pm that I hadn't actually showered all day.
And ramen & nutter butters? Mom, can I go over to Kathryn's house?
I did the same thing today and you're right...it's awesome to have fresh clean clothes. Then I realized around 4 pm that I hadn't actually showered all day.
And ramen & nutter butters? Mom, can I go over to Kathryn's house?
Must be Caregiver Laundry Day. I washed up all the sheets and towels. My husband is coming home to a clean house!
Well, not exactly "nothing." I have done some laundry, some housecleaning, that sort of thing, but I haven't left the house a single time. I've given myself a mani pedi. I gave myself a facial. I hung clothes out in the sun. I have eaten foolish things like ramen noodles and Nutter Butter cookies. I've binged on "Mr Selfridge" all day.
But best of all, I haven't talked to anyone about anyone unpleasant!
It's been great!
Sounds like a recharge day. Glad for your time to yourself.
I had to roll eyes when you said she is all sugary sweet to your parents. I've seen that rodeo too.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon
Blech, it's disgusting. My mom may fall for it, because she's got a marked lack of reasoning skills, but my dad wasn't born yesterday. He's got her ticket.
I'm sure I missed something, but why is your daughter's sweetness towards her grandparents so obviously fake??
"Oh, Granddaddy, you know I would if I could - I would move heaven and earth for you! But our car is in the shop/my kids are all running a fever/I think I have ebola/the angel Gabriel came to me in a dream and told me that the world will end tonight at midnight/fill in the blank. But I love you SOOOOO MUCH, Granddaddy!
Hey, I have an idea - why don't you call my mom and get her to do it? I mean, she's just a rich middle aged woman and she doesn't have anything else to do and she may not want to quit eating bon bons and watching Dr. Phil for an afternoon but personally I think she owes it to you - look at all you've put up with from her over the years - I can't recall anything off the top of my head right now but I'm sure she's done something terrible at some point to you, right?
Anyway, you sweetheart you, just pick up the phone and call her and if she gives you ANY TROUBLE at all, just remind her that everyone knows she's selfish but she's just going to have to put her own needs aside for once. I love you, Granddaddy - maybe I'll see you in a few weeks! Buh bye now!"
Setting her crummy attitude towards you to the side for a minute...
Isn't this the daughter who is homeschooling 4 young children? The youngest is a toddler? And she moved to the area about 2 years ago?
I'm seriously asking these questions based only on what you've written about her, no snark: What would you want her to do to help, and how do you want her to do it? Does she have some who can watch her kids? Can she fit them all and her grandparents in her car? Are her children even allowed on the hospital floor? Through your many posts, it sounds like she and her husband are practically dirt poor--can she afford to help out? Has she been asked to do something that she refused to do?
I'm sure I missed something, but why is your daughter's sweetness towards her grandparents so obviously fake??
It's not that her sweetness toward my parents is "fake," - I mean, I don't doubt that she loves my parents, I'll put it that way.
Her sweetness in GENERAL is fake, because she is not actually a sweet person at all.
And I'll go a bit further and add that talk is cheap. It's easy to be all sweetness and light when you're on the phone or visiting for an hour. It's a bit harder to maintain that aura when you're actually in the trenches - which she definitely is NOT.
The old phrase "put your money where your mouth is," springs to mind.
"Awwww, I'm so sorry you're going through this - if I can do anything to help, just let me know."
Setting her crummy attitude towards you to the side for a minute...
Isn't this the daughter who is homeschooling 4 young children? The youngest is a toddler? And she moved to the area about 2 years ago?
I'm seriously asking these questions based only on what you've written about her, no snark: What would you want her to do to help, and how do you want her to do it? Does she have some who can watch her kids? Can she fit them all and her grandparents in her car? Are her children even allowed on the hospital floor? Through your many posts, it sounds like she and her husband are practically dirt poor--can she afford to help out? Has she been asked to do something that she refused to do?
Yes, this is that same daughter.
It's not that I actually expect her to help, other than visiting a couple of times a month. I know she's busy. In fact, either my parents or me (or both of us) always give she and her husband gas money or fill their car up with gas when they drive here. We also feed their entire family either at our house, or we take them out to eat. So I'd say on this end, we're very empathetic toward her family when it comes to THEIR needs.
HOWEVER - she has never had any experience helping sick, elderly folks and she has a MARKED lack of understanding and empathy. In other words, she's an armchair quarterback - full of criticism about the way I help (or my frustrations), totally dismissive and completely - COMPLETELY -insensitive regarding anyone else's worries or fears, and very divisive in a time where we need family unity.
She is so amazingly self centered that she somehow manages to twist everything to revolve around her and her feelings, when the real focus should be on my parents' needs (or in the case of this past week, her sister - who she's extremely jealous of - coming back to the states after living overseas for three years, but you can fill in the blank with any number of scenarios in which the focus would normally be on other people).
By the way, on the subject of my youngest daughter and her husband being dirt poor - they are struggling financially (not dirt poor, but instead "living above their means") due to some VERY poor decisions on their part over the past couple of years. She and her husband have absolutely refused and ignored any suggestions. To top it off, she has a bird in hand that she's refusing to tap into. The military GI bill would pay her somewhere between $700 and $1200 A MONTH if she would enroll in online classes and finish up her bachelor's degree. If I was so broke all the time that I couldn't always pay my electric bill on time, I'd be signing up for those classes so fast, your head would spin. But for some reason unknown to me, she refuses to do so. Oh, well.
Also, her husband works in the oilfield. As you may know, that field has taken a beating lately. But it's picking back up, and her husband's pay is also picking up. So yes, things have been a struggle for them lately (only in the past 8 months or so out of the past two years) but the end is in sight.
Meanwhile, she got at least $40,000 in separation pay from the military less than two years ago. I have no idea where that money went to, but apparently it's gone.
Last edited by KathrynAragon; 06-23-2016 at 07:35 AM..
I'll give you another example of how things always turn into being all about her:
My oldest daughter just moved back to the states from Guam. They had to get their cat shipped here. Now, I have two large dogs and a 22 pound male cat - not a good idea for their cat to stay here. Also, their cat was arriving a few days before they arrived. So I wasn't even involved in any way in the cat issue, but my oldest daughter coordinated with my youngest daughter and arranged for her to pick up the cat at an airport that is a one hour drive from their house, and keep the cat for her while she and the rest of her family (six people) stayed at my house for a week. She also planned to pay her sister for this, and also had cat food and cat litter sent to her house via Amazon.
Like I said, I didn't even know anything about all this - I just assumed that her cat was going to be boarded somewhere till they left for Ohio.
OK, so - about a week before they got here, my oldest daughter called me in a panic and said, "Mom - I have an emergency - can you go pick up my cat from the Shreveport airport Tuesday? My sister says she can't do it."
WHAT?????????????
But I looked at my schedule and said, "Wow, no - actually, Tuesday is booked solid for me. Your grandfather is doing some volunteer work for the police department that day, and I'm watching your grandmother that morning. Then that afternoon I have GOT to get my vehicle inspected and registered since it's the last day of the month and I forgot all about Memorial Day so that's the only day I can do it. Then I have a meeting with our attorney about paperwork for our company structure. And then that afternoon at 4 I have a hair appointment. I'm really sorry, but I can't do it. Shreveport is a two hour drive from my house - that would mean at least four hours on the road and at the airport - I just don't have that block of time available. Why can't your sister do it like she said she would? It's just a one hour drive from her house."
Long story short - between about six phonecalls from Guam to Texas, my younger daughter's story changed over and over. First of all, she couldn't do it because she only had a donut tire on her car and they couldn't afford a new tire till payday. Then she said she is afraid to drive, so she doesn't drive anymore. THEN she said that OK, it was embarrassing, but the real truth was that they can't afford to pay the insurance on both vehicles so they only have one insured and that's the one her husband is driving (they only have to carry liability on both vehicles because they're both paid for).
I don't know what the real truth is, but I do know that 1) my daughter drives. 2) They are using both vehicles on a regular basis. 3) They did have a bad tire - about six months ago. I'm pretty sure they're not still driving on a donut tire.
Then she said that I was just making things up and that I really didn't have anything pressing to do Tuesday - I just didn't want to do it to help her out. She even went so far as to accuse me of lying about my dad's volunteer work schedule! Meanwhile, I'm calling my dad seeing if he can change his volunteer day so I could drive to Shreveport that morning - but he couldn't because (get this) he was taking over a time sensitive job that had to be done THAT DAY because the guy who usually did it had been killed in a vehicle accident a few days earlier! So errrr, no - I just can't go. Not without leaving my mother alone all morning long - which is not an option.
Finally my youngest daughter told my oldest daughter, "OK. Even though it is going to cost us money, my husband will take the day off and drive me to Shreveport to pick up your cat." Total guilt trip.
She capped that off by saying, "Mom could do this if she wanted to - but she just doesn't want to be inconvenienced - once again. Because she's so self centered and selfish. She just doesn't want to change her precious HAIR APPOINTMENT. Meanwhile, my husband will lose a day's pay but that's OK."
So once again - I'm the bad guy. I'm the self centered one. It doesn't matter that I didn't even know anything about the whole cat thing, that SHE was the one who had committed to doing this weeks ago and was now reneging on it, and that my days' commitments involved about six hours of taking care of my mom, and an appointment with our attorney - not just a hair appointment.
To top it all off, while my oldest daughter was here for a week (the first time we had seen her and her family in three years), my youngest daughter sent her a barrage of text messages accusing her of burdening her with the cat, springing it on her at the last minute and just assuming she would do it (who knows - to me it sounded like it had been planned for weeks), and making her buy cat supplies on top of everything else (as I said, my oldest daughter had shipped cat supplies to her house prior to the cat arriving). Meanwhile, she refused to take any payment, so my oldest daughter bought her family a years' pass to the local zoo - I saw her do this, so I know that went down. My oldest daughter was so stressed out about the cat thing that she finally ended up driving the two hour round trip to just go get the cat and she left it upstairs in my house - where they had to be sure the door was kept closed 24/7 because my two large dogs and my huge male cat would actually like to eat her cat for supper.
So - once again - much more drag than lift. And once again - she overshadowed everything with her own emotional drama.
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The Texas sun can be a challenge, but at least my clothes were dry in literally about half an hour! I love the smell of line dried clothes.
I've binged on "Mr Selfridge" all day. 
My mom may fall for it, because she's got a marked lack of reasoning skills, but my dad wasn't born yesterday. He's got her ticket.
