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My husband has broken his leg twice in a year. Actually, he had a hip replacement (femur) then seven months later he cracked a bone near the first break both times from falling. He never goes anywhere and at 75 I feel his reflexes wouldn't be good enough to drive. So he has "cabin fever" and wants me to take him somewhere. Where can he go that he'd be safe from falling?
Last year after his hip replacement he talked me into taking him to a restaurant. I was a total nervous wreck but he was able to hobble into the place and enjoy himself. When it was time to leave he gave me this frightened look and said he couldn't get up out of the booth. He had his cane and kept trying to stand up by leaning on it. Finally, thank God, he got up and we left.
Can anyone think of anything he can do that would be safe? Or should we just roll the dice and let him choose a restaurant that has no stairs? Stairs are out of the question. Once he's down I've had to call an ambulance crew. He refuses to use his walker-even inside the house.
I have known several elderly people who could manage around the house perfectly fine with a cane or walker but used a wheelchair when they were out in the community. So, instead of giving up going to church, restaurants, festivals, and shopping because of the fear of being knocked over by a preschooler or a dog on a leash, or a careless adult or teen, they would be safe and sound in their wheelchair, protected from those dangers.
Of course, the risk is if he starts to use the wheelchair around the house and then does not get the exercise that he needs to keep his legs strong he may never leave the wheelchair.
I have also noticed that, IMHO, bystanders are much more careful around someone with a walker and not just a using a cane. So, perhaps you could start with insisting that hubby use the walker when you go out in the community.
BTW, there is not a "safe place" in the community. I remember years ago when we took our elderly mother to a funeral. She was going through a door and was holding on to the door handle (a large bar) for support and a bystander pushed the door wide open, thinking that they were being helpful. If my brother and I had not caught our mother as she was falling, off balance, she would have crashed to the ground and easily been seriously hurt.
Of course, being at home is not always safe either. I hope that your hubby is continuing the physical therapy exercises that he was prescribed after those bone breaks. Maybe, he needs follow-up PT to become stronger, or at least not decline as much.
I have known several elderly people who could manage around the house perfectly fine with a cane or walker but used a wheelchair when they were out in the community. So, instead of giving up going to church, restaurants, festivals, and shopping because of the fear of being knocked over by a preschooler or a dog on a leash, or a careless adult or teen, they would be safe and sound in their wheelchair, protected from those dangers.
Of course, the risk is if he starts to use the wheelchair around the house and then does not get the exercise that he needs to keep his legs strong he may never leave the wheelchair.
I have also noticed that, IMHO, bystanders are much more careful around someone with a walker and not just a using a cane. So, perhaps you could start with insisting that hubby use the walker when you go out in the community.
BTW, there is not a "safe place" in the community. I remember years ago when we took our elderly mother to a funeral. She was going through a door and was holding on to the door handle (a large bar) for support and a bystander pushed the door wide open, thinking that they were being helpful. If my brother and I had not caught our mother as she was falling, off balance, she would have crashed to the ground and easily been seriously hurt.
Thanks so much but ,not only will our wheelchair not fit in our SUV, he would never consider using it. Inside or out. As far as exercise, he appears to be convinced that walking to the bathroom or kitchen is all the exercise he needs. His legs are getting thinner and thinner but his top half is a 2X.
If there is a senior center near you go check it out. Built for older people, they are usually very friendly for people with canes/walkers. And if there is a pool, sign up for an exercise class with him.
I wonder if he would benefit from more PT? He must be very unhappy with so many limitations!
Thanks so much but ,not only will our wheelchair not fit in our SUV, he would never consider using it. Inside or out. As far as exercise, he appears to be convinced that walking to the bathroom or kitchen is all the exercise he needs. His legs are getting thinner and thinner but his top half is a 2X.
Just think of things that hubby has enjoyed in the past and tell him that he needs to use his walker when you go to do those things.
As an example, my state has a lot of hunters and fishermen. There are numerous groups that work with elderly and handicapped individuals and take them hunting & fishing. Whether they need canes, walkers or wheelchairs, or are cognitively impaired they are out in the woods and streams participating in life.
Does your hubby like to play cards? Go to sporting events? Go to plays? Go to the library? Go out to eat? Go to visit friends or your daughter & grandchildren? Go to church? Go to the senior center? Whatever he likes to do, just do it.
From reading your first post, it almost sounds like your husband has been housebound, except for one restaurant meal, for a full year. Yikes!
Perhaps, his doctor can recommend additional physical therapy.
Thanks so much but ,not only will our wheelchair not fit in our SUV, he would never consider using it. Inside or out. As far as exercise, he appears to be convinced that walking to the bathroom or kitchen is all the exercise he needs. His legs are getting thinner and thinner but his top half is a 2X.
OH MY! That's the real problem!
I wonder if he understands he is heading towards the nursing home? If he can't walk, he is too heavy for you to haul around. I hope you have discussed this with him.
Does he sit and watch TV most of the time? If this is the case, buying him some hand weights and one of those little bike/stepper things you can use while seated might help. Exercising while seated would eliminate the balance issues and fear of falling. I know it's hard. Leading the horse to water and all that.
If you could get him to commit to a real exercise program for a month, he would probably see enough improvement to want to continue. Good luck!
OP - what does his doctor say about his recovery from his two breaks?
I don't know how soon you went to the restaurant after the hip replacement, but going out (after an appropriate amount of rehabilitation time) is to be expected after a *successful* replacement.
The fact that he had extreme difficult getting up suggests perhaps his rehab was not complete (how does he get up at home?).
If it is a mechanical issue (i.e. he needs a chair with arms to give him extra support) - you can always call ahead and find out if restaurants meet your special needs.
It does seem that he needs to be doing at least some therapy/exercise to strengthen his muscles and not lose further function. You probably should check with his doctor if you're concerned about his ability to transfer or walk.
If he refuses to use whatever is necessary, walker, or wheelchair when he goes out. then he doesn't deserve to go out. He can continue to be stuck at home.
My personal opinion has always been you use whatever help aide you need to to continue the life you want to live. False pride is just that, False, He needs to get over that ASAP.
My husband had to resort to one of those mobility scooters during his last two years. Unfortunately insurance won't pay for the rack to put it on a car so he could only use it at home or when he went out in the neighborhood. We had a folding wheelchair for when we went out that even fit in my small car.
Seems to me he is not doing much to help himself but I'm sure you love him and want to help him regardless.
Thanks so much but ,not only will our wheelchair not fit in our SUV, he would never consider using it. Inside or out. As far as exercise, he appears to be convinced that walking to the bathroom or kitchen is all the exercise he needs. His legs are getting thinner and thinner but his top half is a 2X.
I know this is off topic but maybe he could/would look forward to water aerobics at the local YMCA (if you even have one in your area) to get his legs thicker and thicker and his waist thinner and thinner. No gravity in water.
Good luck OP!
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