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My evil sister is worse. There are three siblings in my family (including me) who are no longer speaking with the evil sibling unless absolutely necessary. Our entire situation is so bizarre I keep thinking she must be mentally ill. Anyway, she betrayed her siblings and that's an unforgivable offense in my family. Even though her behavior causes me a lot of anxiety, I try to let it go. For now. She's a greedy little thing. After my father's death, I'll make sure she pays dearly with the only thing she really cares about - her inheritance. I guess I should start drafting the legal papers now. LOL
The new addendum is simply a reversal of mother's (and late father's) wishes that appoint my spouse as the responsible party after MIL's death. That trust was written 4 years ago.
There are additional clauses where SILand spouse "share" responsibilities - but that's never going to happen. We have not been on speaking terms with SIL for years.
We thought the attorney would be appointed as the "divider" of the estate once MILhas passed but that's not the case.
MIL is in dreamland if she thinks this will get us to "work together".
If this is not annulled or voided- we will seek other remedies.
From what you described, she's not incompetent and she wasn't legally coerced. I recently had something similar happen and only found out after death. The legal standard for coercion and undue influence is very high. It's not badgering, bugging, manipulating, etc it's more like holding a gun to their head or refusing to give a bed bound person food, etc. Old people have the right to make bad decisions just like we do.
She expressed that she wanted you to work together, you're not interested so she chose the one who is in her ear. That's not illegal or senility.
I'm telling you that it's not worth the time and energy.
ETA a decent lawyer can argue that you're being abusive with your it's our way or the highway attitude. Hopefully, you're just venting here but if you're threatening MIL or causing drama bc you don't like her decision, that's abuse, too.
4 years ago - before Dadinlaw died - spouse had long conversations with both parents and they agreed - SIL could not be trusted with money. Thus the change in the trust.
4 years ago - before Dadinlaw died - spouse had long conversations with both parents and they agreed - SIL could not be trusted with money. Thus the change in the trust.
Nothing has changed since that time.
But it's not against the law. I literally just had a house stolen from me by my junkie mom and brother. They conned my grandma into changing her will a couple months before she died. I took care of her for 10 years, gave up my career and while I was gone for a bit working, the junkies got to her.
I'm telling you that the legal standard of incompetence and coercion and all the other stuff is not what you think.
In my state you would be hard pressed to prove MIL incompetent. I can not speak to California. Is she truly incompetent or not doing what you previously agreed to?
Your spouse could fly out and get her to reverse it. That's what I would do.
4 years ago - before Dadinlaw died - spouse had long conversations with both parents and they agreed - SIL could not be trusted with money. Thus the change in the trust.
Nothing has changed since that time.
Dadinlaw died. That is what changed. MIL sure wouldn't be the first widow who changed the terms of a trust or will after her husband died.
Last edited by lenora; 04-26-2017 at 05:30 PM..
Reason: typo
My mother and her sisters dealt with this when a cousin got attorneys and doctors to sign things they shouldn't have signed and gave the cousin power of attorney as well as changed the will.
The only way to remedy it is with an attorney and in the courts.
Our experience was that you are better off paying the attorney by the hour than on a contingency basis, by that may differ depending where you live.
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