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Keep in mind - ALF and ILF are not interchangeable terms and have different legal meanings and ramifications.
And speaking of terms that aren't really interchangeable, I don't keep up with the finer differences between Medicare, Medicaid, and other government programs and subsidies. So I don't really know if my SIL's mom is on MediCARE, MediCAID, or something else. What I do know is that the facility she is in accepts government subsidies for elderly people.
It's super easy to google and get a list.
I would bet Medicaid. Medicare does not cover custodial care. I certainly am going to look for ALFs that take it!
I would bet Medicaid. Medicare does not cover custodial care. I certainly am going to look for ALFs that take it!
That's what I believe I googled - ALFs that accept Medicaid in the Fort Worth area. I got quite a list. I was going to try to figure out which one her mom was in but there were so many I just thought, "Oh forget it - all the names sound the same anyway!"
That's what I believe I googled - ALFs that accept Medicaid in the Fort Worth area. I got quite a list. I was going to try to figure out which one her mom was in but there were so many I just thought, "Oh forget it - all the names sound the same anyway!"
Thanks for looking. If it's ever convenient, we'd love the name of one you know is NICE. We are nowhere near this point, I just mean if you happen to talk to her and remember that we are sort of looking. Well, me I guess. I am looking. He might not believe it will come to that, but I do, unfortunately. 'Medicaid' and 'Nice' rarely go together, IME thus far.
Thanks. This is one of the things I wanted to know regarding my brother. If he can retain that independence when able, I think that would make it more palatable to him. I honestly don't see what the huge deal is about going. I wanted to live at my g'mas ILF! They said I had to wait 40 years............my mother would have LOVED to go. She couldn't afford it. If Medicaid will pay for a nice place, as KA said exists near here, that is amazing. Simply amazing to me. All this time we thought NH was the only option.
But, also keep in mind that not all ALF are alike, some are more like independent living facilities and some are almost like traditional nursing homes.
And, I bet that most (not all but probably most) of the people who qualify for assisted living probably have given up driving.
I was told that in my state only the most medically fragile people with the most severe medical needs are placed in today's "nursing homes" such as people in comas or hooked up to multiple machines. But, the definition of "nursing home" in your state may be completely different.
In my state there are a few "nice places" that accept Medicaid (without two years of private pay) but it seems like it is usually the "hell holes" that have vacancies. When we were searching for a place for Hubby, we called several dozen ALF/Memory Care facilities before we found only two fairly nice places that accepted residents on Medicaid without first paying for two years. Of course, your area or your state may be completely different.
But, you or your brother should check out the rules in your state and the facilities in your area. You may be pleasantly surprised.
Last edited by germaine2626; 07-25-2017 at 10:09 PM..
That's what I believe I googled - ALFs that accept Medicaid in the Fort Worth area. I got quite a list. I was going to try to figure out which one her mom was in but there were so many I just thought, "Oh forget it - all the names sound the same anyway!"
Also, keep in mind that just because a facility accepts Medicaid they may only have a few Medicaid beds and those may be "reserved" for residents that have self paid for two years. In my state they will list the total number of beds in the facility and the number of Medicaid beds and it is often something like 60 beds total with 4 Medicaid beds.
But, again, your state may run the program very differently.
The NH people always say to us 'he is headed here for life at some point'. For custodial care. If he can be in a nice ALF, praise God. I totally understand why he hates the NH.
Thanks. This is one of the things I wanted to know regarding my brother. If he can retain that independence when able, I think that would make it more palatable to him. I honestly don't see what the huge deal is about going. I wanted to live at my g'mas ILF! They said I had to wait 40 years............my mother would have LOVED to go. She couldn't afford it. If Medicaid will pay for a nice place, as KA said exists near here, that is amazing. Simply amazing to me. All this time we thought NH was the only option.
I feel the same way! When I go see my mom and get in the elevator, there's a calendar of activities for the month. Tuesday: 9a.m. Morning Stretch with Tanya, 10 a.m. Trip to Walmart, 11 a.m. Trivia for Prizes with Zeke, 1 p.m. Phillies game in the lounge with Phillly soft pretzels 2pm manicures with Jessica 3p.m. ice cream social, 4 p.m. Ladies group trip for dinner to Olive Garden, etc, etc, etc.
To me it seems like living on a cruise ship. Of course my mother won't leave her apartment except to go to the dining room How are you gonna not go to something called an ice cream social??
Thanks for looking. If it's ever convenient, we'd love the name of one you know is NICE. We are nowhere near this point, I just mean if you happen to talk to her and remember that we are sort of looking. Well, me I guess. I am looking. He might not believe it will come to that, but I do, unfortunately. 'Medicaid' and 'Nice' rarely go together, IME thus far.
I'll ask my SIL the next time I see her and get the name to you. We visited her mom there the last time we were in Fort Worth and I was really impressed with the place.
I feel the same way! When I go see my mom and get in the elevator, there's a calendar of activities for the month. Tuesday: 9a.m. Morning Stretch with Tanya, 10 a.m. Trip to Walmart, 11 a.m. Trivia for Prizes with Zeke, 1 p.m. Phillies game in the lounge with Phillly soft pretzels 2pm manicures with Jessica 3p.m. ice cream social, 4 p.m. Ladies group trip for dinner to Olive Garden, etc, etc, etc.
To me it seems like living on a cruise ship. Of course my mother won't leave her apartment except to go to the dining room How are you gonna not go to something called an ice cream social??
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This is one of the things I struggle with, with my mom. One of the reasons we moved her to her apartment complex is because they have so many options and we felt she'd get to know other women in her same situation. It was clear when we visited that many people are enjoying close friendships there - the coming and going of so many giggling, animated groups of women always brings a smile to my face. There are support groups, games, book clubs, movie nights, shopping trips, you name it. Especially since my mom can't drive, my brothers and I felt it was important for her to live in a place where she wouldn't feel isolated, and at the time she agreed.
But now she refuses to participate. She is not interested in other people - that's one of her biggest challenges in life and it really impacts her now because she doesn't have my dad to entertain her, to fill up her life with activities that revolve around them and their narrow interests.
I mean, to be honest, I'm sick to death of taking my mom shopping. There is so much more to life than shopping! Come on! But the fact that I have to remind myself of constantly is that it is not my responsibility to entertain my mother. It is not my responsibility to try to make her happy.
She yearns for the things she used to do with my dad and that makes me sad for her - but I can't be my dad to her.
This is one of the things I struggle with, with my mom. One of the reasons we moved her to her apartment complex is because they have so many options and we felt she'd get to know other women in her same situation. It was clear when we visited that many people are enjoying close friendships there - the coming and going of so many giggling, animated groups of women always brings a smile to my face. There are support groups, games, book clubs, movie nights, shopping trips, you name it. Especially since my mom can't drive, my brothers and I felt it was important for her to live in a place where she wouldn't feel isolated, and at the time she agreed.
But now she refuses to participate. She is not interested in other people - that's one of her biggest challenges in life and it really impacts her now because she doesn't have my dad to entertain her, to fill up her life with activities that revolve around them and their narrow interests.
I mean, to be honest, I'm sick to death of taking my mom shopping. There is so much more to life than shopping! Come on! But the fact that I have to remind myself of constantly is that it is not my responsibility to entertain my mother. It is not my responsibility to try to make her happy.
She yearns for the things she used to do with my dad and that makes me sad for her - but I can't be my dad to her.
Yes, my mom is more of a one to one friendship type, sort of a loner. When she first moved in, she connected quite quickly with another resident, and they were kind of inseparable for a while. They always sat together in the dining room, and they would sit in one of their apartments and watch DVDs that her daughter and I would send them. But that resident was over 90 then, and now has either been moved to a nursing home or has died, not sure my mom doesn't mention her and I haven't seen her in ages.
That is one of the sadder things in any retirement community, ALF or SNF. People you bond with are going to die. You will meet and hang out and go to Bingo together with your little group of friends, and watch them one by one drop off, in a much more accelerated way then people normally have to deal with.
My mom used to love to shop, but she has gotten to a weird point where she's afraid to go out with anyone but us. When I argued about it with her (she wanted me to order her something on CVS online, and I wanted her to go on the little bus with the group). She has this fear that she will be too slow and they won't want to wait for her, or she'll have to go to the bathroom too many times and they'll be annoyed with her. I tell her all the time everyone is slow there and everyone has to pee all the time, lol.
Sometimes when I'm there I feel like I'm the mom at my kid's school trying to get her to make friends and do things with her peers.
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How are you gonna not go to something called an ice cream social??
