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Reading through this thread, it occurs to me that we could set up some sort of swap system amongst ourselves so that unwanted cast iron soldiers could be exchanged for unwanted tea cups and unwanted photos could be exchanged for unwanted lace curtains and so forth....
Anyone want a piano?
WE bought a gorgeous Tiger Oak antique Piano by mistake on E-may many years ago. Then we found out shipping would cost more than the piano ($500 for the piano, shipping was originally $2500, but we got it down to $750) Then we had to get it tuned (about $1500 - it had to be tuned in increments). We also had to buy new strings on occasion, Then we had to pay for piano lessons for the kids so the Piano woudl serve some purpose other than to look pretty in the front parlor. When we moved, it was to large and heavy to go on the truck and the cost to move it was back in the $2500 range. That $500 piano probably cost me $4,000. We sold it to a friend for $2000.
Used Pool tables are the same, the cost more to move and set up properly than they are worth. Even free, they generally are not worth it unless they have been recently restored. However you have to take them apart to move them so everything has to be redone anyway. We see them offered for free fairly often. My Dad has one in the basement, we played many thousands of games on it, but some of the the bumpers are now dead. It is ugly (form the 1970s) even though it is 1" slate. However moving it, replacing the bumpers and the felt, would likely cost about $2000. You can buy new ones cheaper and they include delivery and set up.
My Dad just told me today, he is considering selling the house and moving to an apartment. In part because he is very concerned about leaving us with a heap of stuff we have to get rid of. If he moves, he will have to get rid of pretty much all of it, then no one can fight over it. Much as it saddens me to see the family home sold, I do not want it and no one else in our family could afford it. It would be good if Dad sold it and spends the money, so my siblings have nothing to fight over.
We have enough fighting already. Whenever Dad gives anything to anyone in our family, my sister (who does not talk to Dad or me/my family much anymore) pitches a fit either on Facebook, or through the one brother she still talks to that I and my "minions" (family) are stealing her birthright. (We are talking things like mom's collection of plastic beads, basically worthless costume jewelry, a "clapper" power switch, some plastic storage bins etc. She is convinced it is all worth many thousands - because well, some of those plastic beads might be rare ones.) I cannot imagine the flame war that will ensue if he liquidates everything and dares to give things to the children or grand kids of his choice, or even just asks "does anyone want this?" There are also three pieces of family heirloom furniture that probably everyone will want. I think he should have an estate sale or auction and if someone wants something, they can just buy it.
Ont he other hand, I think it may cause heartache and/or depression for Dad. He has lived there for 47 years and his focus for much of that time has been on yard-work, planting trees and shrubs, moving rocks, leveling etc. Plus all of the kids grew up there (part of the way anyway), grandkids lived with him there at times, Mom's ashes are at the base of a memorail tree we planted, etc. It will be hard for him to leave that behind - worse if someone buys it and tears it down, levels the property and puts in a subdivision. That could be devastating.
Back to no one wants your stuff, my brother lost his house and had to move to an apartment during the recession. HE decided to sell pretty much everything, hoping to get lie $100,000 for his collection of vintage and antique stuff. I think he got about $2,000. Part of it is due to saturation. He had a collection of about 20 WWII rifles. They auctioned off "picks" where the winner got to pick whichever one they wanted, the first three went for about $200 which was close to market rate for those rifles, then one went for $150, then $100, $75, $50 for a few, then $20. Most of these rifles were pretty much the same, However the people that wanted them, pretty much bought as many as they wanted earl on and the others were sold to deal hunters who would just re-sell them over time and hope to make $180 profit. I would not go through the auction process again. Maybe an online auction, not sure. .
This really rings a bell with me. I have one brother who is convinced that everything is worth a WHOLE LOT MORE than it really is. To add insult to injury, he seems much more fixated on the monetary value of items rather than the nostalgic value.
For instance, my dad's collection of antique rifles and sabers, that sort of thing: I told my family a long time ago that I only wanted ONE antique rifle and one antique saber. Now, keep in mind that there are many - and that I honestly have no idea what they are each worth. So my dad said, "Well, since you only want one of each - I'll let you pick them out." So naturally I picked out the two items that were the most NOSTALGIC to me - the two items that had hung either above the fireplace or in my dad's office throughout all my memories. I had no idea that both were even originals (he had several good replicas of weapons). So out of all the antique weapons and other stuff - I happened to choose two very valuable, original pieces - I mean, I say "valuable" - more valuable than the replicas or some of the other pieces, totally unbeknownst to me. What do I know? They remind me of my dad. They're pretty - which is saying something considering they're weapons. Beautiful craftsmanship and finishes.
My brother was so ticked off! "What are YOU going to do with something worth SO MUCH MONEY? You'll probably hang it over your fireplace and light a fire and let that rifle get heat damage! It's not a toy or a piece of HOME DECOR, you know!" He was furious. Oh well.
This is the youngest brother who has not moved ONE STICK of furniture or ONE BOX of anything, while my other brother and I have been working our butts off for months trying to clear out houses, barns, sheds, etc.
OK, so - we sold the farm. Which means that after about 15 more days, anything left on the property belongs to the new owners. I've told my brothers this, but of course my older brother has already been helping clear things out. Get this - my younger brother, who lives a four hour drive away, STILL hasn't come to the farm to go through anything. I mean, now he has only about 2 more weeks. I have clearly told him that I am NOT going to move a single thing more. Not for myself, not for my kids, not for him, not for anyone. I am MOVED OUT. I am 10 years older than him. It's the dog days of summer. My husband and I have spent the last two weekends hauling things out of that place, and into storage - not our house, STORAGE - waiting for someone, anyone (but not us) to come get it if they want it (and that's going to be liquidated too eventually - one step at a time though). We even pushed/pulled my younger brother's antique WW2 jeep a half mile (had to use a winch at one point) from one property to this storage barn. Chairs, antique trunks, antique ice boxes, victriolas, you name it - WE moved it.
But I drew the line at tools and the four junked vehicles that my brother still hasn't gotten. And get this - I sent him photos of this stuff and reminded him of the time line and I have not heard one word from him. That is, not after the original discussion in which he told me how valuable his vehicles are (that "only need batteries" - yeah right - they are pure JUNK).
So I am not going to stress about it. And when the time line passes, and his stuff is no longer his stuff, he is going to pitch a wall eyed fit and go on and on about how much money he "lost" and how his mean sister just gave away his stuff blah blah blah. I can hear it now.
Reading through this thread, it occurs to me that we could set up some sort of swap system amongst ourselves so that unwanted cast iron soldiers could be exchanged for unwanted tea cups and unwanted photos could be exchanged for unwanted lace curtains and so forth....
Anyone want a piano?
NO. And I don't want to swap cast iron soldiers for tea cups!!!!!
This is a great topic. I'm in my 50's and I know so many people who are dealing with their parents "stuff". It's really hard.
My in-laws passed away and they had a lot of expensive furniture and a beautifully furnished house. It took my husband a long time to not look at every item and say "That was expensive we can't just give that to charity". Some items went to my sister in law but she lives so far away it was tough to get to her. My step-daughters took some things as well. But I am still working on getting rid of some of the stuff. We are moving and I am bound and determined not to move stuff that sits in boxes to a new location where it will sit in boxes. It's just not realistic to keep everything.
Conversation with my husband:
Me: What do you want to do with your grandmother's china and silver?
Husband: Well it was really good china and very expensive. But I don't really want it.
Me: We'll never use it. Does your sister want it?
Husband: No
Me: Do your daughters want it?
Husband: No
Me: OK, I guess we should donate it.
Husband: We can't do that. It's valuable.
Me: Where was it before your parents passed away?
Husband: In boxes in their attic.
Me: So now we need to keep it in boxes in our attic? And then when we pass away your kids will have this same conversation and then keep it in a box in their attic.
Husband: I know, I know.....
Me: You are not obligated to keep every item your parents left behind. It's not realistic.
The above conversation was held numerous times over various items. My sister had the same conversation with her husband when his Mom died. It's really hard. So many emotions attached to the stuff people leave behind.......sadness over the loss, guilt over not wanting something or not keeping something, frustration with what to do. Ugh.
My Mom is 81. After my Dad died she started the process of purging stuff. But she makes my sisters and I feel guilty if we don't want something. It's her generation......
My grandmother used her priceless Haviland china every day of her life for dinner. I don't know how she never broke a single piece of service for twelve but whatever...
She used to say "Nobody's coming here who's any better than us".
Me: What do you want to do with your grandmother's china and silver?
Try Replacements.com to see if they might want to purchase your old china, crystal, and silver. If the items are in good condition, having been stored away as they have been all those years, you may find yourself a buyer.
Reading all these stories makes me smile and they drive me crazy at the same time, because WOW can I ever relate!
My dad - was it his generation or what? If anyone in his immediate family or any of his ancestors had ever owned anything, and he found it, he kept it. Heck, he even made little brass labels for some things, with the name of the original owner on the label! Sheeze! I mean, it's cool but enough already. He had multiple barns, several houses, and the most organized oversized garage you ever saw - he had the room for all this, but I don't. Thank God I've got a brother who is just as much a "hoarder of prized possessions" as my dad because he's come down several times and gone back up to his state with trailers loaded down with furniture. So thankfully I haven't had to purge a lot of furniture. Also, surprisingly so, both my daughters wanted the formal dining room sets (YES, TWO SETS) that my parents owned. I think the only furniture pieces I came home with are an antique desk, a treadle sewing machine, and two very small occasional tables (good for sitting beside a chair so that was OK). Oh, and a prize - my grandmother's antique mirror that she bought for her first house in New Orleans - and it looks quite "New Orleans" and I've always loved it.
It's the smaller stuff that's really driving me crazy because I am very circumspect about furniture. There are not many pieces of furniture that I feel any sort of "obligation" when it comes to passing it down or keeping it or whatever. But it's the mounds of original documents, photos, slides, paintings, antique books, vases, sets of china, handmade quilts (some with names stitched in them - and dates - one even from 1909!), clocks, etc.
Example from just this past weekend of cleaning out yet another outbuilding on my dad's farm:
I found about 10 journals of paychecks and receipts, etc from my great grandfather and my grandfather's little country store. I mean, from the 1920s through the 1950s. They are INTERESTING - the names are often familiar, the prices for items is interesting, etc. They are also large, dusty, heavy and bulky. Where do I put those? YIKES!
I also found a collection of stuff like cowbells (I'm sure they're from the farm), weights (like for measuring stuff in a store), tin cups, etc. Wow, those have history, from that old working farm. I rang the cowbells...and I could imagine my dad's delight when he found those in the barn and rang them and I know he could hear the sound of those cows in the field from his childhood...I know he and the workers and people around the farm drank cool spring water from those tin cups, which is why he saved them. I know my grandfather and great grandfather used those weights in their store. How can I get rid of those items?
I found a collection of cast iron soldiers - they look old. I guess I can donate those to a museum somewhere - but what if one of my grandsons wants them one day?
I found the mug from Cafe Du Monde in New Orleans that my dad always loved to drink coffee out of. I mean, that's cool, right? But I have about 4 of those already because every time I go there, I keep my coffee mug. And I already got one of my dad's...I think...but I'm not sure - because they all look the same!
Antique books...oh my. An antique copy of Robert Louis Stevenson's works...my dad had memorized several of his poems and would recite them at family gatherings...can't get rid of that. Oops, there's two of them...well, can't get rid of either...
But I just had to walk away from some stuff. For instance, the laundry crate that my great grandmother would haul her wet clothes out to the line in - my gosh, it wasn't a basket, it was a wooden crate, not pretty, very heavy...my dad had saved that, and even attached a little label to it. I don't want it. Where would I put it?
Same with the double bed that my great grandmother died in and that sat in my grandmother's house for 40 more years after that, along with the little matching vanity. I don't want a double bed. I don't need one. I don't have room for the vanity. It's cute and in great shape, but apparently no one else wanted it either because no one else came to get it. But I can just hear someone a few years down the road - "YOU GAVE THAT AWAY WITH THE HOUSE? WHY DIDN'T YOU SAVE THAT FOR SOMEONE, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GAVE AWAY THAT BED, IT WAS OVER 100 YEARS OLD, IT CAME DOWN THROUGH THE FAMILY yada yada yada." You know what I'm going to say? I'm going to say, "You should have come and gotten it then."
That's going to be my stock answer to any compiaints - "If you wanted it, you should have come and gotten it. Why should someone else move and store all this stuff just IN CASE someone down the road thinks they want it?"
I'm not dead yet but my daughters are already fighting over stuff they WANT. Its not even things that my husband and I bought but their grandparents things that I saved.
Advice? Don't post these family situations on FB. Their friends will get involved. Old 1940's Wood Standing Radio. We have had this radio in our basements and garages since MIL passed away over 20 years go. It's been in 3 states and moved a thousand miles because my husband did not want to get rid of it. Bad shape. Daughter. "Don't SELL that". "I want it." You have NOWHERE to put it. Friend of her's refurnishes old furniture. Now he wants it. "I have a truck and can pick it up." "How much do you want to sell it for?" "NOOOOOO". On, and on, and on. On Facebook. Ok, my younger daughter is a 1940's fan. Her wedding was 40's themed. She bought a vintage wedding gown. "Why didn't you save Grandma's?" Don't even talk about her Grandma's old Frank Sinatra records. BTW, she''s a Millennial.
I also have an old Oak table and Chairs, and Dry Sink, my Mom bought back in the 80's from an Antique Store. Both of my daughters are already fighting over who is going to get those. I'm still using them. To sell them? No, they both want to keep them for MEMORIES of their Grandma. "We sat in those chairs as little kids with Grandma".
No, not fighting over their parents stuff, but their GRANDPARENTS stuff. About the only thing of MINE they both say they want is my 1957 Shirley Temple doll. "Mom's Doll as a little girl".
EDIT: My husband is a pack rat. I am constantly telling HIM to get rid of stuff.
Used Pool tables are the same, the cost more to move and set up properly than they are worth. Even free, they generally are not worth it unless they have been recently restored. However you have to take them apart to move them so everything has to be redone anyway. We see them offered for free fairly often. My Dad has one in the basement, we played many thousands of games on it, but some of the the bumpers are now dead. It is ugly (form the 1970s) even though it is 1" slate. However moving it, replacing the bumpers and the felt, would likely cost about $2000. You can buy new ones cheaper and they include delivery and set up.
I once bought a house. The previous owners had left an older Brunswick pool table, complete with balls, rack, cues, the whole works, in the middle of the family room.
Having no interest in playing pool, I contacted a local store that sells new and used pool tables. I figured they had to get their used pool tables somewhere. After a little negotiating, they agreed to come with their truck, disassemble the pool table, and take it to their store (presumably). I think they paid me a whopping $200, but at least I had the darn thing out of my house.
For an alternative view, so many heirlooms and antiques are of questionable quality, the results of early-20th or mid-20th century mass production. I’ve been trawling the local Craigslist looking for solid-hardwood bookshelves, coming up empty. Does nobody read and store books anymore? Does anyone like to display them in dignified, elegant fashion? Most items on Craigslist are veneered particle board, or perhaps a softwood like pine.
The point, therefore, is that nostalgia or Americana is perhaps less in vogue, but genuine quality – whether of something of grand and hoary pedigree, or made by a carpenter in 2007 – remains in demand. Otherwise it would not linger unsold, all over Craigslist.
You're not going to find THAT on CL.
Before you turn your nose up at "early 20th century" bookcases go check out what they're selling for on eBay.
HINT: Not Craigslist prices.
Sounds to me like you're trying to find a hidden antique steal that people don't know they have for dirt cheap on Craigslist.
Also your post contradicts itself. You say you can only find particleboard on CL then say "genuine quality lingering unsold on CL"
Last edited by runswithscissors; 07-20-2017 at 02:20 PM..
I'm not dead yet but my daughters are already fighting over stuff they WANT. Its not even things that my husband and I bought but their grandparents things that I saved.
Advice? Don't post these family situations on FB. Their friends will get involved. Old 1940's Wood Standing Radio. We have had this radio in our basements and garages since MIL passed away over 20 years go. It's been in 3 states and moved a thousand miles. Bad shape. "Don't SELL that". "I want it." You have NOWHERE to put it. Friend of her's refurnishes old furniture. Now he wants it. "I have a truck and can pick it up." "NOOOOOO". On, and on, and on. On Facebook. Ok, my younger daughter is a 1940's fan. Her wedding was 40's themed. Don't even talk about her Grandma's old Frank Sinatra records. BTW, she''s a Millennial.
I also have an old Oak table and Chairs, and Dry Sink, my Mom bought back in the 80's from an Antique Store. Both of my daughters are already fighting over who is going to get those. To sell them? No, they both want to keep them for MEMORIES of their Grandma.
No, not fighting over their parents stuff, but their GRANDPARENTS stuff.
EDIT: My husband is a pack rat. I am constantly telling HIM to get rid of stuff.
Oh HECK NO - this stuff and these situations are NOT going on Facebook. This is where I vent and the only place I vent. I haven't even shared on Facebook that the old place is sold and I don't intend to.
I already have told all immediate family members that if they want anything, come get it. This was after my mom first took all that she wanted to her new place. Then my brothers and I walked through (well, one brother - we did have a list of items the other brother wanted moved and stored FOR him, which we've done reluctantly but that party is OVER). My dad had left a shortish list of heirloom items that he thought people would want and we divvied that stuff up, with very little drama, thankfully. That leaves my kids. Three of the four of them walked through and chose a few items. Then my mom actually offered the two daughters her two sets of dining room furniture and surprisingly, they both took her up on that so they loaded up, along with a few other items. My sons only seemed interested in things like my dad's hats, a few books, and some WW2 and Civil War era stuff that I have ended up storing, of course. At least no furniture requests from them!
Oh and everyone's got paintings.
So that takes care of the principle residence. I have been telling everyone for months now "If you want anything from the farm, go get it." So that's that. But I am sure I will hear how I "gave all the heirlooms away" one day. Oh well. I didn't see anyone beating a path to the place when work needed to be done (other than my older brother, who has been a life saver). So I guess they can all, well...you get the idea.
Our country has reached "Peak Stuff" in my opinion. There's a reason for the retail apocalypse. I for one have very little reason to shop other than for food, tools for work, home repair items, and some art supplies. I don't need new clothes, trinkets, nick-nacks, old ugly exercise equipment, old ugly furniture, old ugly lamps, etc. etc.
It's all just junk. How many people have piles and piles of boxes full of useless junk stacked in their garages, sheds, attics, and even cluttering up entire basements that they rarely see and even more rarely utilize? If it's in a box that you never see or use what makes you think that others are going to want it?
As a tradesman I see LOTS of homes, and it's a common problem. It's bad enough in the rich and well-to-do communities that I typically do work in, and I know it's even worse in the middle and working class (and poor) communities that I rarely see where people even more regularly hold onto junk possessions.
Lots of people also seem to have this notion that "one day" they'll have a big yard sale or set up a table at a flea market where they'll sell all these wonderful old treasures for a decent sum. Sorry, but who is realistically interested in it all?
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I'm in my 50's and I know so many people who are dealing with their parents "stuff". It's really hard. 
Replacements.com
